Dating as an "incomplete man"

[attis]

Remember there is more to being a partner, or even having sex, than having a stiff dick! Cuddling and general affection, and so on can actually be more satisfying than just getting your rocks off and going to sleep...



That's exactly right! I can testify to this.

[TheRagingEunuch]

My sentiments exactly. Especially in an age where a "Golden Anniversary" means you have been married a Month and a half.

[Godson]

Respecting the motivations of others, but adding my own to the mix - for me personally one of the benefits of being a eunuch is that I never have to think about dating or relationships formed around any kind of physical intimacy every again.

Years before I understood that I was a eunuch I was already drifting away from the idea of “relationships” and stopped having sex of any kind. Stopped going to places where people might try to encourage that to happen. Removed myself from any conversations with people who wanted those things to happen. Ignored the opposition of those who thought there was something wrong with ME because I didn’t want what they were offering.

COVID lockdown showed me my “preferred state” and that I am happiest living in my own solitude.

Learning I was a eunuch made that make sense.

Pursuing surgery makes it not only ok, but also that I will never apologize or try to explain it ever again.

Now that I’ve grown much much deeper in my eunuch identity I feel a profound, existential relief that I never have to “date” or pursue/maintain relationships like that ever again. And I will be overjoyed when I get to have the surgery that makes it “final.” And that feeling only gets stronger every day. I never have to second guess it.

Personally, while respecting others, I can say I don’t really understand how one can simultaneously desire being a eunuch and still desire or expect “sexual intimacy” after completing the hard work of “disabling” themselves. While I understand most people’s need for some kind of validation and companionship, the concept of desiring sex while also desiring the removal of the parts that enable it seem irreconcilably opposed…?

[WheelyFixed]

Intimacy and sex aren't really the same thing at all, although they are often combined, and IMHO the combination can be a wonderful thing...

One can be intimate with a partner and do all sorts of things that are mutually enjoyable but not 'sex' in the usual sense of the word (though they might be in the 'foreplay' class). We have had at least some members that have gotten fixed to match libidos with a partner that no longer wanted normal sex, and reported that as a result they could enjoy much greater intimacy with their partner because the desire for sex no longer interfered with their enjoyment otherwise...

OTOH, it is entirely possible to have sex (often in exchange for money or other considerations) without being at all intimate....

WheelyFixed

[no-balls]

I'm bearded and male. I'm also a nullified eunuch. You might consider me an incomplete man.

I consider myself a completed nullified eunuch.

For a number of years I've been married to another man. We met while I was recovering from my nullification surgery.

We have an intimate relationship which seems to fulfill both of us.

We were introduced by mutual friends who, in jest, thought me might hit it off together.

My husband prefers not to be impregnated by a penis in any way, nor does he prefer to use his penis to impregnate another guy.

I chose to be fully nullified. I did not opt for a play zone by retaining innervation from my glans. I chose my crotch to become like any other part of my body: essentially non-arousal.

I don't have a penis, so from the start I was no threat to his preference.

We impregnate each other with things other than penises.

I don't consider either of us an incomplete man.

We are, however, a completed couple of guys who like to fuck each other.

[WheelyFixed]

Thanks for the description of your relationship, I'm glad that you have such a good one!

However more importantly it is yet another demonstration that one can have the sort of relationship, or not, that one desires, and the equipment involved is not a big factor beyond possibly defining what is physically possible (but that just leads to creative alternatives....)

So it is entirely possible to have the range from no relationship with a partner to very active intimacy and sexual activity and all the variants in between, and as long as everyone involved likes their situation, it is wonderful!

WheelyFixed

[puck_]

Personally, while respecting others, I can say I don’t really understand how one can simultaneously desire being a eunuch and still desire or expect “sexual intimacy” after completing the hard work of “disabling” themselves. While I understand most people’s need for some kind of validation and companionship, the concept of desiring sex while also desiring the removal of the parts that enable it seem irreconcilably opposed…?

From my own perspective, it's really not that complicated. I'm not removing the parts that enable sexual intimacy for me. I like men, and I have always been a bottom. My cock and balls hasn't ever really been the center of my sexual activity.

And of course, a variety of creative sexccessories exist. I know nullos who sometimes top using toys, who actually like topping a lot more (or perhaps even for the first time) now that their own much-maligned penis isn't involved.

You seem to be asexual, which is a fine and wonderful thing to be. But being ace and being (or wanting to be) a eunuch aren't really the same thing, and one does not necessarily imply the other. There are a lot of reasons a person might want to be a eunuch or nullo besides reducing or eliminating their libido.