Dating as an "incomplete man"

[Pussyman215]

If this topic is not allowed on this forum, you may delete it.

When I was about to lose my manhood (see my introduction for details) I was dumped by every woman I dated as soon as I told them about my upcoming surgery. But they never had the courage to say it was for that reason. I could write a book about the made-up reasons they gave me.

So I asked a very good friend of mine to set up a dating site where I might have success.

This friend also had some experience, but of a different kind: fraudulent dating sites. You know what I'm talking about? You sign up (which is always free) and then you are bombarded with messages from profiles that are obviously fake, but you have to pay before you can answer.

So for this reason a website was created that is different from all other dating sites in two ways:
1. It is 100% free of charge; no fees whatsoever.
2. It's all-inclusive, meaning it doesn't matter if you are straight or gay, cis or trans, handicapped or not, fetishist or not... all can register and all have a chance on success... if you're 18+, that is.

I found my perfect match before the site was finished, by the way

The url is https://superurl.n/inclusive-dating
URL REMOVED by WheelyFixed

Note from WF, Lead Moderator - the topic of dating is pretty much OK, but some of this series of several posts in a very short time, combined with the intro post saying you are married (so why are you dating?) makes me a bit suspicious... I'd like to see a few more real discussion posts and a bit more of you in general before I'm totally OK with having a post about your dating site.

Note for WF:
I put the url back because I know I'm real, which Fusion can vouch for. And besides... if that dating site is absolutely free, what purpose would it serve if I post a link while I'm not who I am? This doesn't make sense. I have no interest in that site because I already fund my match, except that it still serves a purpose: being the end (I hope) of all those fraudulent dating sites.

[TheRagingEunuch]

Against the advice of my Doctor, I dated once in High School. Not much to say other than it was a complete disaster.
I took his advice and stuck to sucking dick.

[NaturalEunuch]

If possible, it's best to find your significant other before becoming a eunuch.

[Pussyman215]

If possible, it's best to find your significant other before becoming a eunuch.

I did... but she died.
I found my present wife when I had plans for surgery. As a matter of fact that is another special story which I'll tell in a new post.

[TheRagingEunuch]

"If possible, it's best to find your significant other before becoming a eunuch."

I have always been a Eunuch. My current Partner is Asexual. So far, so good.

[fusion]

Even though I wish I was done a lot earlier then I was I don't think I would have gone through with my castration if it was not with my husband.

It's hard enough being one of very few in Australia that I feel it would have been very hard to find someone if I looked after.

Not to say uthat it's impossible but it would become very hard.

[Pussyman215]

I see a lot of replies, but they missed the subject: how difficult is it to get a date if you are "incomplete"? Non of the replies are about it.

[Nulloguy]

Ok, I'll bite.

I was worried about this before I did anything. I mostly found out people didn't care. It's an amazing filter for dating. There are those I'd consider curious, those who want to take it out for a ride, so to speak, and those that will run away screaming in horror of some kind.

As I said, great filter. You'll be able to sort out who all these are rather quickly.

I found my husband after I was nullified. He was surprised, but there's more to supporting someone than penetrative sex and physical intimacy.

[TheRagingEunuch]

"I see a lot of replies, but they missed the subject: how difficult is it to get a date if you are "incomplete"? Non of the replies are about it."

OK, let me see if this helps. With my being a Congenital Eunuch, I found the best route for me to take as far as dating was concerned was to find a gal who was Asexual. That was actually the hard part, but I found a few. Probably the best part was, their parents didn't have to worry about them getting knocked up. My present Asexual partner and I have been together since 1975. Back in High School, they used to think it was cool to be able to say, "I dated a Eunuch". Hey! Whatever turns you on!

[NaturalEunuch]

I'm not in the dating market, but if I were, I would present my being a eunuch as a positive. A lot of people don't like penetration. That makes eunuchs the perfect partners for people who want the benefits of a mate without the obligation to swap bodily fluids. I'd advertise that fact in online ads. Also, I would never publicly identify as a eunuch. The word eunuch is off-putting to most. People just want a normal partner who doesn't have any interest in sex. That's the main message. The reason why is of lesser import.

[TheRagingEunuch]

"The word eunuch is off-putting to most."

Granted, there are some who may feel that way, but I have seldom if ever had an issue and I have always been open about it.

[Pussyman215]

I'm not in the dating market, but if I were, I would present my being a eunuch as a positive. A lot of people don't like penetration. That makes eunuchs the perfect partners for people who want the benefits of a mate without the obligation to swap bodily fluids. I'd advertise that fact in online ads. Also, I would never publicly identify as a eunuch. The word eunuch is off-putting to most. People just want a normal partner who doesn't have any interest in sex. That's the main message. The reason why is of lesser import.

As a typical eunuch (dick but no balls) you can still exchage fluids, but you can't produce a child. If that is their fear everything is alright.

[Lizz]

Very true.
I've said this before - many women would like eunuch partners but they don't know eunuchs are an option. Less fighting, cheating, etc etc.
I have talked to a few women who have eunuch partners. They are happy women.
Somebody, do a eunuch public relations campaign...and put up a eunuch dating site.

[Lizz]

Further, a eunuch could read up about the asexuals and asexuality. They have a dating site. There are both women and men who like affection, but not penetrative sex. The dating site is Ace-book.net There are more women on there than men.

[TheRagingEunuch]

My Partner echoes your sentiments.

Very true.
I've said this before - many women would like eunuch partners but they don't know eunuchs are an option. Less fighting, cheating, etc etc.
I have talked to a few women who have eunuch partners. They are happy women.
Somebody, do a eunuch public relations campaign...and put up a eunuch dating site.

[TheRagingEunuch]

I speak often about being open about being a Eunuch and I thought I should share an incident that occurred back when I was in High School. It would seem that a girl in the class below me (A Junior) became pregnant. She never would say by whom, but my name turned up on the list of the suspects. Her parents were embarrassed when they discovered that I was a Eunuch and it was highly improbable that I was the culprit. Actually, it made for a good chuckle.
From that day forward I became much more open of my identity.

[WheelyFixed]

Amusing... You should have strung them along until you were able to get on one of those afternoon TV shows and tell the host "I am NOT the father"....

WheelyFixed

[TheRagingEunuch]

"You should have strung them along until you were able to get on one of those afternoon TV shows and tell the host "I am NOT the father" "

Sorry, but I have a face for radio and a voice for television.

[Swim1650]

I’m a 28 year old aspiring nullo. I’ve had a few long term girlfriends and experimented with men a few times. I am under no illusions that I will have a very good chance of landing a parter once my penis is gone. I’m pretty sure 98% of people would think I’m a freak if they found out I had no genitals, 100% of they found out it entirely wrong voluntary

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m asexual, so I’m really not too concerned.

I think if you’re just castrated most people won’t care. A lot of men have to get castrated at some point. That said, if you’re castrated and not on TRT, that might be a problem.

[WheelyFixed]

I’m a 28 year old aspiring nullo. I’ve had a few long term girlfriends and experimented with men a few times. I am under no illusions that I will have a very good chance of landing a parter once my penis is gone. I’m pretty sure 98% of people would think I’m a freak if they found out I had no genitals, 100% of they found out it entirely wrong voluntary

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m asexual, so I’m really not too concerned.

I think if you’re just castrated most people won’t care. A lot of men have to get castrated at some point. That said, if you’re castrated and not on TRT, that might be a problem.

At 28 you MIGHT find it a challenge to find a partner your own age, but not impossible... I know that reportedly a great many older women are not interested in penetrative sex (and even find it painful) and a eunuch partner is just the ticket for them. We even have had several members that have gotten themselves fixed for this reason (we refer to it as 'libido matching') where their partner wasn't interested in penetration while they were having stress from not getting it... They actually said it IMPROVED their love life as well as their relationship...

Remember there is more to being a partner, or even having sex, than having a stiff dick! Cuddling and general affection, and so on can actually be more satisfying than just getting your rocks off and going to sleep...

This is a question that actually comes up a LOT in the SCI world, of how can I find a partner as a wheelchair user... (Or keep one, we do have a higher divorce rate than average) The answer is the same, lots of people do, and the biggest part of it is to do whatever it takes to be the sort of person that YOU would want to date...

From what people have said both here and on EAv2, I'd estimate that most had some sort of relationship (straight or gay...) and that most of those who didn't were either single by choice, or because their partner had passed on...

WheelyFixed

[attis]

[quote=WheelyFixed post_id=3742 time=1761769899 user_id=62]
[quote=Swim1650 post_id=3736 time=1761745632 user_id=1082]

Remember there is more to being a partner, or even having sex, than having a stiff dick! Cuddling and general affection, and so on can actually be more satisfying than just getting your rocks off and going to sleep...



That's exactly right! I can testify to this.

[TheRagingEunuch]

My sentiments exactly. Especially in an age where a "Golden Anniversary" means you have been married a Month and a half.

[Godson]

Respecting the motivations of others, but adding my own to the mix - for me personally one of the benefits of being a eunuch is that I never have to think about dating or relationships formed around any kind of physical intimacy every again.

Years before I understood that I was a eunuch I was already drifting away from the idea of “relationships” and stopped having sex of any kind. Stopped going to places where people might try to encourage that to happen. Removed myself from any conversations with people who wanted those things to happen. Ignored the opposition of those who thought there was something wrong with ME because I didn’t want what they were offering.

COVID lockdown showed me my “preferred state” and that I am happiest living in my own solitude.

Learning I was a eunuch made that make sense.

Pursuing surgery makes it not only ok, but also that I will never apologize or try to explain it ever again.

Now that I’ve grown much much deeper in my eunuch identity I feel a profound, existential relief that I never have to “date” or pursue/maintain relationships like that ever again. And I will be overjoyed when I get to have the surgery that makes it “final.” And that feeling only gets stronger every day. I never have to second guess it.

Personally, while respecting others, I can say I don’t really understand how one can simultaneously desire being a eunuch and still desire or expect “sexual intimacy” after completing the hard work of “disabling” themselves. While I understand most people’s need for some kind of validation and companionship, the concept of desiring sex while also desiring the removal of the parts that enable it seem irreconcilably opposed…?

[WheelyFixed]

Intimacy and sex aren't really the same thing at all, although they are often combined, and IMHO the combination can be a wonderful thing...

One can be intimate with a partner and do all sorts of things that are mutually enjoyable but not 'sex' in the usual sense of the word (though they might be in the 'foreplay' class). We have had at least some members that have gotten fixed to match libidos with a partner that no longer wanted normal sex, and reported that as a result they could enjoy much greater intimacy with their partner because the desire for sex no longer interfered with their enjoyment otherwise...

OTOH, it is entirely possible to have sex (often in exchange for money or other considerations) without being at all intimate....

WheelyFixed

[no-balls]

I'm bearded and male. I'm also a nullified eunuch. You might consider me an incomplete man.

I consider myself a completed nullified eunuch.

For a number of years I've been married to another man. We met while I was recovering from my nullification surgery.

We have an intimate relationship which seems to fulfill both of us.

We were introduced by mutual friends who, in jest, thought me might hit it off together.

My husband prefers not to be impregnated by a penis in any way, nor does he prefer to use his penis to impregnate another guy.

I chose to be fully nullified. I did not opt for a play zone by retaining innervation from my glans. I chose my crotch to become like any other part of my body: essentially non-arousal.

I don't have a penis, so from the start I was no threat to his preference.

We impregnate each other with things other than penises.

I don't consider either of us an incomplete man.

We are, however, a completed couple of guys who like to fuck each other.