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I'm glad to hear that you are getting better and that you are recovering. I apologise for not responding on your thread lately but I have been so wrapped up in dealing with my own things and trying to at least maintain a facade of sanity and control.

Hugs, Stacy

Thanks everyone for the good wishes.

I was feeling more run down today, so I saw my doctor this evening. Turns out I'm having an asthma attack, preciptated by the infection. I will still see him Friday so he can decide if we need more drastic measures to bring my asthma back under control. I'll be back to normal, or as 'normal' as I get, soon.

At least I got to drive downtown to see him. I was surprised that being in the heart of the city still excited me when I felt ill. On the way there, I wasn't quite as excited when I saw the "1 hour, 1min" estimate to "The Circle", near the financial district, with a mere 12 or so miles separating us.

Stacy, I'll send you an email by tomorrow night. I'm sorry to hear things are so difficult right now. I'd try to call, but with this asthma thing going on, it's hard for me to speak for long.

I am tempted to delete this post, but will leave it up to remind me of certain things. This is a relatively minor blip in my life and I will handle it.

I've been on Ciprofloxacin (Cipro) for 6 1/2 days now. There was a time when this was considered a 'last resort' antibiotic.

My fever is gone, my arm has returned to its normal appearance and asthma is under control. This is all terrific.

The downside is: I thought I felt really sick when I first saw my doctor last Monday. In some ways that are hard to explain, I feel worse now, with really low energy. No matter how much sleep I get, I feel very tired. Because of this,

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 06, 2011 12:05 pm I'm having a lot of trouble concentrating.

I have not felt this 'out of it' sick since I was on chemotherapy in 1996.

I put in only 23 hours for work last week. Other than lost wages, this was fine because work was slow. No one at the office was inconvenienced. Starting tomorrow, the workload will shoot way up. I will go to the office and make it through 8 hours, but it will be difficult. I was able to go to work throughout 5 of the 6 months I was on chemo.

I have never before been tempted to stop taking an antibiotic before I've gone through the entire bottle. Not only do I want to be sure I've wiped out the infection, but I do not want to contribute to the 'superbug' problem.

Nonetheless, I may not take it in the morning. I can view it as a 'skipped dose.' I will call my doctor ASAP. My symptoms are among those warranting stopping cipro. At the very least, I want to get some reassurance that it's really OK to continue taking cipro. Or that it's not OK. Staying home from work is not an option.

Action he recommended when we met Friday is not helping - mega doses of vitamins. I need to be able to only only be at the office, but to work hard. He tends to tell me I'm strong and can handle all kinds of things. When I'm feeling well, I can do what I must. I'm not superwoman, though.

This is not my typical type of post. I wouldn't normally bother writing about being sick. It's just that this is making my life difficult right now.

Danya,

Stay on your medication. It is important for your surgery that you are healthy.

It is critical that you do not skip a dose of antibiotics, because the bacterial infection uses that opportunity to develop resistance. This results in a seriously worse condition and the likelihood of further complications.

Please continue your Cipro, for your own sake.

I agree with the other responders, Danya...but perhaps you should contact your doctor...He may offer some solution..Keep him in the loop...smooches dragonfly

Danya,

Mac (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 21, 2011 4:12 pm Stay on your medication. It is important for your surgery that you are healthy.

Hi Mac,

I am staying on the antibiotic. I've never taken one that wipes me out the way this one d

Caith721 (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:28 pm oes, though.

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 18, 2011 11:10 pm I very much appreciate your concern.

It is critical that you do not skip a dose of antibiotics, because the bacterial infection uses that opportunity to develop resistance. This results in a seriously wors

e condition and the likelihood of further complications.

Please continue your Cipro, for your own sake.

Caith721,

Thanks for your thoughtful response and concern. As I noted above, I am cont

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 21, 2011 9:13 pm inuing to take Cipro. I did not skip a dose this morning, either. When I got up this morning, I read the messages here and that helped me swallow the pill.

I agree with the other responders, Danya...but perhaps you should contact your doctor...He may offer some solution..Keep him in the loop...smooches

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Dec 28, 2010 12:43 pm dragonfly

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Da [/quote] nya (imported) wrote:Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:21 pm

What a woman!! smooches dragonfly

Glad to hear you're taking care of yourself. We are here to support you, and we all love you, very much. You can say anything here, and we'll understand, even appreciate it. Getting those emotions out is an important part of experiencing them and dealing with them.

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 22, 2011 11:00 am What a woman!! smooches dragonfly

Hi Dragonfly,

Caith721 (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 22, 2011 9:47 pm I'm not sure what I did to earn that, but thanks!

Glad to hear you're taking care of yourself.

We are here to support you, and we all love you, very much.

Hi Caith721,

Love is one of the essentials for a full life. I appreciate your ongoing support, care and expression of love. I feel the same way about you and a number of people here, some of whom I've met and many that I haven't. [Before I tran

Caith721 (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 22, 2011 9:47 pm sitioned I never would have written something like this. ]

You can say anything here, and we'll understand, even appreciate it. Getting those emotions out is

an important part of experiencing them and dealing with them.

I've said lots of things here since I made my first tentative posts sometime in early 2007 (I think that's when I started here ). Many of my posts have been about life's difficulties, particularly after I was laid off.

I appreciate your encouragement.

When I first started writing, several people (including at least one of the site admins) warned me that I was being too open. With one or two minor exceptions, I have never regretted this.

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:25 pm

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Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:39 pm ceived my final payment [quote="Danya (imported)" tim

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Wednesday of last week. His office emailed me tonight
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to inform me that they had n

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:58 pm ot received the third, [quote="Danya (imported)" time=1294620240

]
and last page, of my stress echo test results.

I emailed them a P
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DF version I scan

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:53 pm ned. I'll call my docto[quote="Danya (imported)" time

=1294444140]
r's office tomorrow to have them fax the last page. Th
[/quote]
e second page starts the con

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:44 am clusion with "patient at [quote="Danya (imported)" time=12941108

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low risk for cardiac events." The last page adds little but I und
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erstand that the

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:49 am y want a complete record.

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ime=1292939460]
__________________________________________________
[/quote]
____________

Today is the fi

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:14 pm rst time since a week ago Sunday when I started feeling like I'

m getting over the bacterial infection. I've still got a way to go, but I was really encouraged.

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 22, 2010 12:51 am __________________________________________________

__________

I will check in again in a few weeks at most.

What I meant is you have terrific drive..veritably indominable...

So glad to hear you're feeling better....Only a few days to go...

smooches dragonfly

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 23, 2011 12:35 pm What I meant is you have terrific drive..veritably indominable...

So glad to hear you're feeling better....Only a few days to go...

Danya (impo [/quote] rted) wrote:Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:32 pm smooches dragonfly

Hi Dragonfly,

Thanks once again for your kind words. Sometimes my drive causes me to overdo things, though. I need to be careful about that.

I'm feeling a lot better than just a week ago. Although my breathing is still not ba

[quote=[quote="Danya (imported)" wrote: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:25 am

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:25 pm
ported)" time=1299583140]
"Danya (imported)

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ck to normal,

Dany [/quote] a (importe [/quote] d) wrote:Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:01 am
o stay out of cold weat
4620240]
l I am entirely well
People d

oing photography,

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:58 am people taking trips [quote="Danya (imported)" time=129444414

0]
together to museums

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 09, 2011 2:12 pm and similar things. Nearly every

type of gr

oup I've joined holds e

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2011 3:21 pm vents that have a ma[quote="Danya (imported)" time=12

94110840]
jor out of doors component.

I find it difficult, at times,

to

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:32 pm not overdo something I [quote="Danya (imported)" time=1295

573940]
am passionate about.

[quote="Danya (imported)" time=
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1292939460]
__________________________________________________
[/quote]
_____

Ho

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 31, 2011 1:03 pm t flashes news flash: ac[quote="Danya (imported)" time=1295

488680]
cording to Dr. 'M', I have started to experience some of the
[/quote]
symptoms of hot flashes and menopause. Two weeks ago, with his approval, I

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 29, 2011 2:21 pm started to reduce my we[quote="Danya (imported)" time

=1295153580]
ekly estradiol dose. We thought this might make it ea
[/quote]
sier to stop it altogether in preparation for surgery. I did that two days ago.

My

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:58 am symptoms came on sudd[quote="Danya (imported)" time=12946

20240]
enly, early this afternoon. I felt ill and out of sorts, in a
[/quote]
ddition to feeling an obvious skin flush. As I drove downtown, for the first

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2011 3:21 pm time I did not enjoy [quote="Danya (imported)" time=

1294444140]
seeing the approaching skyline of Chicago. Then, as I
[/quote]
approached the underground parking ramp at Millennium Park, I did not choose the 'e

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:39 pm ntrance.' Rather, I dro[quote="Danya (imported)" time

=1294110840]
ve around orange cones to go down the 'exit' ramp. I have ne
[/quote]
ver done something like this before. When I arrived in the doctor's office,

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:58 pm I felt very warm again.

[quote="Danya (imported)" time=12

92939460]
__________________________________________________
[/quote]
_______

One of the symptoms, or side effects, of menopause can be depression. I st

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:53 pm opped my antidepressant over two weeks ago, after a p

eriod of gradually reducing the dose. I have never been able to make it anywhere close to this long without it before, without noticing that things were not r

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:44 am ight. Until today, I did not feel at all depressed. Tonight

I do not feel depressed. Earlier today, I did. Or at least I felt 'down.'

I take all of this as a good sign that I may be able to do well without an

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:49 am antidepressant, particularly once I can take estradiol a

gain. That may not be until 5 - 6 weeks from now. I need my estrogen! If I find I need an antidepressant after surgery, I'll glady start one again. It will

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:14 pm be a much less expensive one than my 'miracle' drug.

I al

so view my being able to write a far longer post than I initially intended, and what I view as a generally 'upbeat' post, as a good sign about depression.

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 22, 2010 12:51 am __________________________________________________

_____

I've been working through some other issues, too. Including wondering if I am 'too old' at 59 to still look forward to a fulfilling future. Lynn Conway (http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/conway.html), a pioneering trans woman whose opinions and activism I value, paints a somewhat gloomy picture of the prospects for those who transition beyond their early 40s. At least she notes exceptions.

I did not waste much effort dwelling on my future prospects for continuing happiness and fulfillment. I simply decided that I will be one of those exceptions Lynn talks about. Truth is, I already am one of the 'exceptions,' and I am very thankful for that.

In some ways, this is similar to deciding that I will succeed in my career. Whatever that ultimately ends up looking like. Over the months following the loss of my job, I gradually learned to ignore what people were saying, and writing, about the prospects for older workers who are unemployed. Similarly, I learned to ignore dire warnings about transgender persons finding employment. I had no choice but to take this approach and it also makes good sense.

You weren't practicing Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor, were you?

I can understand stopping estrogen before surgery, but why would you stop your anti-depressants before surgery, as well? Is that a medical requirement, or a personal decision?

It's good to hear from you again!!

Hi sweety...Sounds like you've got just about everything figured out...

The way you immerse yourself in things you love is wonderful...but perhaps not without side effects (sore back)..Slow down..(but you knew that already).

On a basic, non-professional level, I assume that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain...but possibly with other worldly factors thrown in the mix...Things like genital dysphoria...transitioning to another sex...losing your job...moving to a new metropolis...having SRS surgery....Geebuzz..

Who wouldn't be anxiety ridden....Maybe, at this stage, these factors have diminished to the point that you no longer need to be as heavily medicated as before..I say maybe, as I am totally without expertise in these matters...

It's always good to see you doing well...Big smooches dragonfly

Dealing with this low to no estrogen thing is more difficult than I expected. It's quite challenging, actually, especially since I'm still recovering from bronchitis. I'll get through it. Until I do, I may write a bit more frequently than I anticipated.

Caith721 (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 9:14 pm You weren't practicing Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor, were you?

Bach's "Tocatta and Fugue in D minor" is somewhat easier than the Bach organ works I've been practicing. That really is the problem, as far as my overdoing it goes. I need to back off these difficult pieces. Before I return to playing this type of music, I need to more or less start at the beginning with strengthening exercises for my hands. I also need to gradually reintroduce velocity exercises. I don't anticipate that it will add more than a month or two to take this more cautious route.

When I practice regularly, which I have not consistently done over the years, I am quite capable. That adds to my current frustration. I can play difficult pieces right now. My body simply is not ready for that, though. It rebels.

My ex-spouse of 20 years at times came out of the shower thinking she was listening to a professional recording when it was me playing. I usually did not practice when she was at home so we'd have time together. I was glad to give up practicing for our time together. I will be glad to let go of a lot of practice time if I ever have another special person in my life.

For anyone who is interested, here are some Youtube recordings of some of the things I am working on now, but really shouldn't until I work back up to this level. I will take a more gradual approach.

Chopin's Ballade #4 in F-minor, Artur Rubenstein: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5uyd4jYEaw

Like many other works, this one starts out relatively quietly with an 'easier' to play section. The development takes it into much more difficult territory.

Although I will never be a Rubenstein, I will be able to play this well in public. I've done it before.

I've also, unwisely, been practicing Beethoven's 32nd, and last, piano sonata. Some professionals consider this the most perfect of all his piano sonatas. In it, he departs from "typical" 3-movement form of the Classical sonata in favor of two movements. The third varation of the second movement sounds like a century too early jazz, boogie-woogie piece.

This is Daniel Barenboim, both a fine conductor and pianist playing the first movement of this sonata.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSIVfnsSOns

Here is the superb Claudio Arrau playing the first part of the second movement of this masterwork. At least for me, the last part of this second movement is very difficult. I may not have the time to learn it well enough to play in public. If you advance to about 6 minutes, 52 (59?) seconds you get to the energetic, jazz and dance-like 3rd variation. This movement starts out with a gorgeous, quiet statment of the theme upon which the following variations are built. It makes the movement sound deceptively simple. It is not at all simple or easy. The last part of this movement is extraordinarily difficult. It may also be my favorite piece of piano music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9GYArGl ... re=related

Here is the second part of this final movement of Beethoven's last (32nd) piano sonata, again with Claudio Arrau. This music seems to transcend time and space. The last two pages are absolutely otherworldly in their beauty:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kRUlp11M5M&NR=1

The largest organ work I'm practicing is Bach's glorious Prelude and Fugue in E-Flat Major (St. Anne) BWV 552. I go nuts for this piece. I also consider it more difficult than the Toccata and Fugue.

Here is Karl Richter playing the Prelude of "St. Anne:"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji-FsTrWfXo

I've nearly got the "St. Anne" Fugue down cold. Some think the statement of the fugue is a reference to the hymn "Old 100th" ("O God Our Help in Ages Past.") This possible link is the origin of the "St. Anne" designation, which was not added by Bach but by later editors. "St. Anne" is the 'offical' name of the hymn tune. Most musiciologists view this similarity as coincidence. When Bach was alive, it is thought that this hymn was unknown outside of England. If that is correct, Bach would have never heard it.

The fugue starts out slowly and gradually builds in intensity and difficulty. I might be able to play this forever! The at times difficult, rapid pedal work makes it more fun. When I was taking advanced organ lessons in Minneapolis, I studied under the man who was perhaps the top organist in the Twin Cities. I started playing this for him the first time and got as far as page 3. At that point, he stopped me and noted how a certain section seems simple but is not. Bach did not mark his music the way later composers did. There are few indications of how things should be played. I was taking the overly simplistic approach, unaware of how Bach would have played it. I was not taking a sufficiently dance-like approach, my teacher told me.

If you are patient, you may find you are rewarded by the rich development and sound of this fugue.

Anyway, here is Karl Richter playing the "St. Anne" fugue. At this point, I sound fairly close to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePsSrn0r ... re=related

Caith721 (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 9:14 pm I can understand stopping estrogen before surgery, but why would you stop your anti-depressants before surgery, as well? Is that a medical requirement, or a personal decision?

It's good to hear from you again!!

The Montreal folks gave strict instructions about stopping any antidepressant medication. Today, I caved and took prescription ritilin. Both my psychiatrist and physician said this would help make things easier after stopping the antidepressant. I

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:18 pm 'm not sure I would need ritilin if I were still on estrogen. It has hel

ped a bit. Writing has helped more.

Hi sweety...Sounds like you've got just about everythi

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:18 pm ng figured out...

I don't know that I have everything figured out, but I'm working on it as far as my life goes.

The way you immerse yourself in things you

love is wonderful...but perhaps not without side effects (sore back)..Slow down..(but you knew that already).

My doctor did some manipulation on my back.

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:18 pm It didn't seem to help yesterday, but I'm doing much better today. I still need to use caution and slow down.

On a basic, non-professional level, I assume that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain...but possibly with other worldly factors thrown in the mix...Things like genital dysphoria...transitioning to another sex...losing your job...moving to a new metropolis...having SRS surgery....Geebuzz..

Who wouldn't be anxiety ridden....Maybe, at this stage, these factors have diminished to the point that you no longer need to be as heavily medicated as before..I say maybe, as I am t

otally without expertise in these matters...

It's always good to see you doing well...Big smooches dragonfly

There has been an awful lot of upheaval in my life for nearly the last two years. I'm referring to the time since I learned I would lose my job. Generally, after an adjustment period, I have not felt anxiety-ridden. There have been a few times like that, though.

While I still do not view my life as being as stable as I'd prefer, it is still very good. It's much better than it was roughly two years ago. You are right,

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 1:08 pm I may be able to do well without an

antidepressant.

I'm incredibly happy that I have gotten so far in my life, despite external events. So far, everything has gone just about exactly according to the plan I envisioned when I moved to the Chicago area. Knowing that I can plan things and then make them happen helps me to maintain my confidence.

That's important, because I still need to plan and navigate the rest of my life. I need to save a lot of money but I also want to lead a very full and rich life. I can envision several paths to get me there.

Writing lengthy posts here is, in a way, another example of my over doing things. Most of the things I have written this evening I have at least partially described before. This is one reason why I expect to post less frequently as the months go by. Besides, what I want to do is share at least some of the things I write about here with someone special in my life.

Egads, Danya...That sonata by Senor Arrau seems to be the most difficult piece to play...His finger movements are wonderful... Your depth knows no bounds...to be able to play this..No wonder you have muscle pain! This stuff obviously requires regular practice, else muscles are going to complain...loudly.

Reference the organ music....the picture shown depicting four devout christians praying to the impaled Jesus in front of dad..What's unusual is that the cross is not a cross..It's a T...no top piece...So what is it...a cross or a T?

Did Jesus die on a T? You may be able to tell I don't believe this stuff...as I recall you may...Organ music is apparently much more physical than piano...Requiring much leg work...You are so talented...smooches dragonfly

Overdoing it, huh? Maybe you're over-overdoing it.

There used to be videos on one of the religious cable networks of an older (mid-to-late 60s, early 70s) woman playing a huge pipe organ. I was always amazed at the physical exertion required, between reaching for stops and across three levels of keyboards and especially the legwork required for the pedals. Some pieces made it appear the woman was literally dancing and stomping, her leg movements were so vigorous. I'd wager that woman did a lot of walking or aerobic exercise in her spare time to stay fit.

The important thing is you do what makes you happy, whether it's enjoying the beauty and power of the organ and playing challenging musical pieces, or writing about it here, or getting out and walking and taking photographs. Nobody knows what works best for you, except you. Right now, it's more important you're happy and healthy before your surgery. If you overdo it, well that's what you get for enjoying it so much. It will all be okay if you just remember to get some rest, too.

Stay well, stay happy.

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:14 pm Egads, Danya...That sonata by Senor Arrau seems to be the most difficult piece to play...His finger movements are wonderful... Your depth knows no bounds...to be able to play this..No wonder you have muscle pain! This stuff obviously requires regular practice, else muscles are going to complain...loudly.

I've been fortunate in my life to have had opportunities for a variety of experiences. I was very much into classical music from a young age and, although neither of my parents were, they encouraged me to play. So I've been doing this a very long time.

My parents also placed a very high value on education. My father used to say "You can never have too much education. No one can take it away from you." As a young man in the Army, he was offered the chance to attend Johns Hopkins University at government expense. He turned down the offer, feeling he was not capable enough. He always regretted that decision. Although he never went to college, he educated himself very well over the years. He was a great role model in this way.

I've learned a lot over the years and I am very pleased to continue to learn new things. There are far more subject areas that I know nothing or little about than the few I have relatively in-depth knowledge in. That's part of the on-going fun, though, of learning new things.

I am very happy you listened to some of the music. Part of the joy I get from music is sharing it.

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:14 pm Reference the organ music....the picture shown depicting four devout christians praying to the impaled Jesus in front of dad..What's unusual is that the cross is not a cross..It's a T...no top piece...So what is it...a cross or a T?

Did Jesus die on a T? You may be able to tell I don't believe this stuff...as I recall you may...Organ music is apparently much more physical than piano...Requiring much leg work...You are so talented...smooches dragonfly

Here is a Wikipedia reference to St. Anthony's cross, the T-shaped cross based on the Greek letter tau: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross_of_Tau

I do recall that you don't believe 'this stuff.' That does not matter at all to me. I've written myself here that people should

Caith721 (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:39 pm not draw conclusions about my beliefs based on what

I write about Christianity.

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 1:08 pm Thanks once again for your kind words.

Overdoing it, huh? Maybe you're over-overdoing it.

I have a definite tendency to over-overdo things. You noticed this, too? I'll rationa

Caith721 (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:39 pm lize it by using a certain personality profile as an excuse. One of my key strengths is Achiever. As always, though, strengths can also be weaknesses. I need to find a balance.

There used to be videos on one of the religious cable networks of an older (mid-to-late 60s, early 70s) woman playing a huge pipe organ. I was always amazed at the physical exertion required, between reaching for stops and across three levels of keyboards and especially the legwork required for the pedals. Some pieces made it appear t

he woman was literally dancing and stomping, her leg movements were so vigorous. I'd wager that woman did a lot of walking or aerobic exercise in her s

Caith721 (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:39 pm pare time to stay fit.

I always get a kick out of watching other people play. The pipe organ I play has three manuals, too. It can be challenging. But I like to be challenged.

The important thing is you do what makes you happy, whether it's enjoying the beauty and power of the organ and playing challenging musical pieces, or writing about it here, or getting out and walking and taking photographs. Nobody knows what works best for you, except you. Right now, it's more important you're happy and healthy before

your surgery. If you overdo it, well that's what you get for enjoying it so much. It will all be okay if you just remember to get some rest, too.

Stay well, stay happy.

For now, as I let my strained muscles recuperate, writing is a good outlet for me. Your encourging, supportive words mean a lot. I do need to get enough rest, too. Thank you.

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 1:08 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:25 am

[/quote] Danya (imported) wrote:Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:25 pm

I grew up listening to my mother play the piano and organ for hours. When I was a kid, we lived in a mobile home with paper thin walls and my bed was on the other side of the so called "wall" from my mothers piano.

I can remember many a saturday morning being woken up to the sound of Moonlight Sonata or many other tunes. I may not know the name of all of them but if I hear someone play them , I will instantly know if they miss a note or dont play it right!

I regret that I missed the opportunity growing up to not learn how to play the piano. Although my mom was a piano teacher, she never pushed me to learn and I never really told her I wanted to learn.

I can picture her playing her old organ with all of it's pedals, foot switches and a hundred something electronic switches up top with two layers of keys. It was humorous to see her 5' body sitting on the stool with both feet and both hands flying all over the place. lol

I don't know that she ever had a chance to play a pipe organ but she is very talented and I'm sure she would have enjoyed it and done it well. Your posts of playing always bring back fond memories of my mom from many years ago which is always nice...

She eventually gave her organ and piano away and has had several different electronic ones which she enjoys quite a bit. It is nice to know that if she moves again, I don't have to help move those heavy beasts. I'm guessing that I won't be getting asked to help move heavy stuff for too much longer though! lol It's just too cheep to hire local movers!

JessicaH (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:29 am I grew up listening to my mother play the piano and organ for hours. When I was a kid, we lived in a mobile home with paper thin walls and my bed was on the other side of the so called "wall" from my mothers piano.

I have no doubt, with the hours of practice I put in on many days especially during the summer, that my parents and younger brothers got tired of hearing me after awhile. No one ever complained, though.

JessicaH (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:29 am I can remember many a saturday morning being woken up to the sound of Moonlight Sonata or many other tunes. I may not know the name of all of them but if I hear someone play them , I will instantly know if they miss a note or dont play it right!

That you can notice these things shows you have an innate musical ability. Not everyone can pick up wrong notes and other things.

JessicaH (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:29 am I regret that I missed the opportunity growing up to not learn how to play the piano. Although my mom was a piano teacher, she never pushed me to learn and I never really told her I wanted to learn.

You might find that you could still learn to play the piano, if that's still an interest. At least enough to have fun.

:

JessicaH (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:29 am I can picture her playing her old organ with all of it's pedals, foot switches and a hundred something electronic switches up top with two layers of keys. It was humorous to see her 5' body sitting on the stool with both feet and both hands flying all over the place. lol

I'm fortunate, for organ playing, that I'm 5'9" tall. I once played a five manual pipe organ for a recital. I agree, watching someone play an organ can be very funny.

:

JessicaH (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:29 am I don't know that she ever had a chance to play a pipe organ but she is very talented and I'm sure she would have enjoyed it and done it well. Your posts of playing always bring back fond memories of my mom from many years ago which is always nice...

I'm very happy you shared this, and glad I'm able to do that for you.

_______________________

I realized late last night that my anxiety was caused by the Ritalin I took for just two days. This was supposed to help me during the time I would be without an antidepressant.

The first morning I took Ritalin, it seemed to help but my anxiety increased during the day. It took me hours to get to sleep that night. This is never a problem for me.

Yesterday, I again took Ritalin in the morning. By late afternoon, I was feeling very anxious. By evening, I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin.

The Ritalin side effects might not have been so bad for me were it not for the medicine I'm taking to keep my asthma in check as I continue to recover from the bacterial infection. That, too, can cause anxiety.

I did not take Ritalin today and I'm not at all anxious about surgery or anything else. In addition, I do not feel depressed. So far, so good. I'll see how things go

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 1:08 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:25 am

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:25 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 09, 2011 1:09 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:19 pm

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Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 05, 2011 9:56 am

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:13 am

[quote="Danya (imported)" time=12

98701740]

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 25, 2011 11:25 am

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:21 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:16 am

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Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 17, 2011 3:44 pm

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Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 31, 2011 1:03 pm

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Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:58 am

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Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:39 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:58 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:53 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:44 am

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:49 am

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:14 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 22, 2010 12:51 am

_________________________________________
[/quote]


This afternoon, I spoke with my recruiter, letting him know about my upcoming surgery date and likely recovery time. I left some wiggle room in for recovering.

Although I do not have much experience as a contractor, I suspected my recruiter might want to directly contact the hiring manager. This was the case.

The end result, conveyed to me by both my recruiter and my boss at the company, is they love my work and want me to return after I have recovered. There is a slight possibility that may not work out, but I won't go into the boring details.

I was very glad to get this news. I still need to get details on the implications. Technically, my contract ends April 30. During April, the company wants to work on extending all contracts through year's end. Since I will not return to work before the end of April, I do not think they will extend my contract. The more likely outcome is that they would begin a new contract for me sometime in May.

I'll try to find out tomorrow. This outcome is fine with me and has several positive aspects.

Although I enjoy the people I work with, this job is the least challenging job I've ever had. The young woman I do much of my work for says she feels the same way. Neither of us feels this is a good thing.

For now, though, it pays the bills. Knowing I'll likely have the option of returning eases my mind a bit, too. Whatever happens, I feel that I have a number of possibilities for my life and career.

I toyed with the idea of posting this on Eunuch Central, since I've read that this area is the most read. This is not, however, a castration related post. So I will try this here first.

I've gotten some great feedback on locations before. I'm wondering if anyone has additional information or comments.

The Chicago area, my current location, is considered on of the best in the country for transgender folks. I still love Chicago. I'm finding, though, as I get older that very cold, often humid winters and mostly hot, humid summers are more difficult for me than they used to be. In particular, these conditions cause me breathing problems.

There's an additional point I've mentioned before. If I remain in my current line of work, there are a number of US metro areas that, on a per capita basis, have far more posted job openings than the Chicago region. Chicago actually tends to rank near the bottom on posted openings in my line of work. This has been a continuing trend for the many months I have tracked it.

While I may very well remain in the Chicago area, I'm actively investigating a possible move within the next 2 to 6 months. I'm also considering

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 31, 2011 1:03 pm where I might want to spend the rest of my life. My

bias is for the west coast. I enjoy being near the ocean and mountains. I enjoy being outside to hike and explore among beautiful surroundings. I never tire of the west coast. It is, in fact, my favorite region of the US.

Each of these five locations offers more job opportunities for me than the Chicago metro area. Not all are one the west coast. Those that are not are on the east coast, where I grew up. I accept that there is no perfect location. I'm fully aware of cost of living differences among these locations. That is a secondary consideration.

I welcome all comments, both positive and negative, about these five regions. Again, I'm particularly interested in openness/acceptance of trans people. Any other comments, though, are also welcome.

1. San Francisco metro region

2. Portland, OR metro area

3. Seattle, WA metro area

4. Boston, MA metro area

5. New York City metro area

The only city on this list I have not visited is Seattle. I've been to Portland once and really liked it. All of the remaining cities I've visited more times than I can remember.

I've done my own investigation on the "trans friendly", or generally tolerant/accepting attitudes in these places. Here on EA, though, I have a handy group of people who live all over the country and the world. Many here are also familiar with the issues trans people face.

Although Boston and New York are not especially warm in the winter, they are both milder than Chicago. On one climate scale, New York is considered to have a humid subtropical climate (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_City). It it the northernmost US city with this 'subtropical' designation.

Again, any input is welcome. Many thanks.

I've lived in both Seattle and Portland and live in Portland, now. Seattle is a great city, and I know of few that are more beautiful. There's definitely more to do in Seattle, the sports teams, the water, the ferries, U of W, and all. I attended the U of W for two years, and I loved the University district. I love downtown Seattle.

The weather is a little hard to take, though. The sun disappeared in November the first year I lived there and didn't come back out until the middle of January, not even for a minute during that time, and I remember an August during which we seemed to have downpours every day for the entire month.

I haven't lived in Seattle since 1969, but I used to have a motor home, and I spent most of my summers traveling around Washington in and around Seattle.

I love Portland. It's weather is better than is Seattle weather, and I like downtown Portland. I don't doubt that there's more to do in Seattle, though. Portland is a little bit small town compared to Seattle.

Summers in Portland are great. I bought the first air conditioner I've owned since living here a couple of years ago during an unusually hot spell that lasted about a week. Usually, the temperature might hit 100 for a couple of days during August at the most, and we might have one snow event during the winter, where we have 3 or 4" of snow, which is gone in a day or so. We had none this year. It's been rainy this winter, but it doesn't rain hard. About the most I've worn has been a sweatshirt hoody.

There are some fairly cheap apartments around, say in the $600 range. My electricity bill for a one bedroom apartment runs about $80/month, and that covers heating and cooling. It also covers about every electronic device imaginable, two computers, TV, etc.

Portland is pretty liberal and accepting of everyone, so I don't think you would have any problems.

If you make it to Portland, I'd love to meet you. I've attended a MoM we had here a couple of years ago, and Jesus and I have met several times.

I appreciate all the details you provided, both for Seattle and Portland.

When I visited a friend in Portland, it was probably sometime in February. I remember that spring ornamental trees were starting to bloom, along with camellias and many other things. I liked the smaller city atmosphere, too. While in Oregon, I drove along the flanks of Mt. Hood, then over to Bend. After a night in Bend, I took a drive through the Cascade Mountains. The snowy mountain views were awesome. I wound up on Interstate 5 south of Eugene, then drove north back to Portland.

While I love really big cities like Chicago, I'd like them better if I had the money to live in a downtown condo highrise. That way, I could avoid the traffic and still enjoy all the city has to offer. Chicago's traffic is among the worst in the country.

Right now, a smaller city is very appealing. Particularly one with a much milder climate than Chicago and a beautiful physical environment, too.

I'd love to meet you, too. Perhaps we will have the opportunity for that before too many months have gone by.

I will write at least once more before leaving for Montreal on April 17.

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2011 9:28 am

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 1:08 pm

[/quote] Danya (imported) wrote:Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:25 am

me awhile back that I should not ta
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time=1298427360]
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ter on the plane. On the retur

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 01, 2011 10:51 am n trip, this

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Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 09, 2011 1:09 pm nya (imported)"

time=1297917840]
will be to

o heavy to be lift

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 26, 2011 5:29 pm ing into an overhead comp

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Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:19 pm nya (imp

orted)" time=1297814340]
artment. I

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Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 25, 2011 11:25 am ht this meant no computer, [

quote="D

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:01 am anya (imported)"

time=1297221120]
period. :
[/quote]
) I wasn't too thr

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:21 pm illed about that.

Erica

Danya (impor [/quote] ted) wrote:Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:32 pm Ann told me Saturday that of

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 05, 2011 9:56 am 8502960]
course I can take my lap[q

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Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:13 am 427360]
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ta friend had suggested this

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 17, 2011 3:44 pm , too. At that time, I wa

Danya (imp [/quote] orted) wrote:Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:58 am sn't thrilled about le

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 01, 2011 10:51 am aving [quote="Danya (imported)" time=12978

14340]
my laptop in an unlocked [q

uote="Danya (imported)"
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time=1295670060]
suitcase.

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 26, 2011 5:29 pm Now, I'm fine with [quote="Danya (imported)" time=129

7221120]
the idea. It will help m
[/quote]

Danya (imp [/quote] orted) wrote:Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:39 pm e stay in

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 25, 2011 11:25 am touch with the ou[quote="Danya (imported)" time=129653

1120]
tside world.

I wrote t

[quote="Danya (imported)"
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time=1295488680]
o Brassard

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:21 pm 's office earlier [quote="Danya (imported)" time=12964

39380]
today to confirm internet [
[/quote]
quote="Danya (imported)"
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time=1295153580]
connectiv

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:16 am ity in the convale[quote="Danya (imported)" time=1296

271260]
scence residence. I was s
[/quote]

Danya (imp [/quote] orted) wrote:Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:44 am urprised w

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:16 pm hen Suzanne replie[quote="Danya (imported)" time=1295

827080]
d a few moments ago that [q

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Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 17, 2011 3:44 pm efinitely bring my [quote="Danya (imported)" time=129

5670060]
computer. They must be w
[/quote]

Danya (imp [/quote] orted) wrote:Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:14 pm orking he

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:59 am r too hard. It's Su[quote="Danya (imported)" time=12955

73940]
nday night, after all.

Danya (i [/quote] mported) wrote:Wed Dec 22, 2010 12:51 am ________

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 09, 2011 2:12 pm __________________[quote="Danya (imported)" time=1295

488680]
________________________

__

My roommate, who is a
[/quote]
sweetheart but does not un

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:32 pm derstand the 'major[quote="Danya (imported)" time=12951

53580]
' aspect of this surgery, asked if I would be touring
[/quote]
Montreal after surgery. I politel

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 31, 2011 1:03 pm y told her that wi[quote="Danya (imported)" time=129462

0240]
ll not be possible. I might tour around the block a few times,
[/quote]
though.

Before surgery

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 29, 2011 2:21 pm is another [quote="Danya (imported)" time=1294444140

]
matter. I've been to Montreal twice and really enjoy it. I
[/quote]
expect to do some sight-seeing late

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:58 am Sunday afternoon [quote="Danya (imported)" time=12941

10840]
i

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2011 3:31 am nto the evening. I should be abl

e to continue this Monday, w
[/quote]
orking it around my pre-sur

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2011 3:21 pm gery consultation.

[quote="Danya (imported)" time=12

92939460]
__________________________________________________
[/quote]
________

The people at the church

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:39 pm I'm attending are very nice. My organist friend said

she has put together a small package with a surprise gift for each day I am away. She also volunteered to

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:58 pm bring over meals while I am recovering at home.

She a

nd I will do an organ/piano duet sometime in late May. That will be a lot of fun. She also told me that t

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:53 pm he church is paying to have the pipe organ builder co

me in one Saturday to go over the fine points of the organ construction with both of us. This was a very

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:44 am nice surprise. He or she will also go over some of the

best sound combinations for this instrument. Pipe organs each have their own personality. It can take a

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:49 am while to get used to what works best on each instrument.

I've been making progress but it will be a lot of fun to have someone involved in building this fine ins

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:14 pm trument go over the details.

I will likely still subs

titute for the organist on Memorial Day weekend. Erica Ann told me I'd be sufficiently recovered by then.

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 22, 2010 12:51 am __________________________________________________

_

I went to the Chicago Botanic Garden this afternoon, where I walked for 90 minutes. We've been having well below normal temperatures for the last few weeks, which has likely slowed down the progression of spring flowers. Still, there were a number of early spring flowering bulbs in full blossom. Including some practically microscopic crocuses.

The church is paying to have the pipe organ builder co

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:20 pm me in one Saturday to go over the fine points of the organ construction with both of us. This was a very

nice surprise. He or she will also go over some of the

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:20 pm best sound combinations for this instrument. Pipe organs each have their own personality. It can take a

while to get used to what works best on each instrument.

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:20 pm I've been making progress but it will be a lot of fun to have someone involved in building this fine ins

trument go over the details.

Now, THAT is going to be an extremely interesting and probably also entertaining visit. You're absolutely correct about them having their own personality. Knowing how it's built and where everything is situated exposes the secrets of that personality and allows you to use it to your advantage. I've always been amazed whenever I watched video of these beautiful organs being thoroughly cleaned and re-tuned. I imagine the builder is likely to have some interesting stories about your organ and others he's maintained.