EA Forums

Kangan (imported) wrote: Fri Jun 22, 2007 3:07 am That's poverty level. You must be able to qualify for some sort of assistance for your mother? But then nobody really cares about people in your circumstances.... [big sigh]

I think you're right Kangan. The only two services we get FREE are (1) a nurse comes to see mom once a week to check her vitals and (2) an aide shows up once a week to bathe mom, do her nails, wash her hair and counsel her.

Cash assistance would be nice but the County says $1,100 a month is considered TOO high an income for more aid. I've often wondered what planet they lived on before coming here.

Kangan, I didn't say ultrasonic, those are junk. The ones I'm talking about I guess reverberates though the wiring in the house or where ever. Used them in my garage and haven't seenany signs of any type of rodent, mice, squirrels,bats, etc.etc.

Mac, as long as you send something, anything it will help. I've been there and done that as the old saying goes. So, if you can send even $25 on each they have to accept it, without being denied sevices. Especially out there on the left coast where everyone is so damn helpful to the down trodden. So go tell Arnie!!!

Paramedics just left the house. Mom DEMANDED I call 911 and threatened to yell to the neighbord she was kidnapped. The paramedics stayed about 20 minutes but refused to transport her saying it was more Dementia than physical or life threatening. They recommended I tell her doctor to place her in a home and I agreed to their faces but I will NEVER consent to that.

The paramedics also said my living room carpet was too old and a breeding ground for disease and pestilence. I told them my vacumn wouldn't operate well on the dog hair and broke down often but they replied: "the carpet needs replacing as it was beyond vacumning."

Ten minutes after they left, her court appointed attorney called. The hearing was moved up to this coming Monday but the attorney said she's asking for a continuance for 40 days.

In the meantime, the attorney told me to contact Medical (a state of California agency for the indigent and low income) and make an appointment to sign her up. The attorney says due to her age, low income and dementia, that she should qualify for extra income to help with bills, extra nurses tro come out more often and "possibly" some small income for me as her caregiver.

I have a 9:00am appointment at the Medical office tomorrow. I'll see what happens from there and let you know how it goes.

Either life sucks or this is all a bad dream. I'm hoping, in vain, for the later.

Oh Mac, All I can say is that I hope for all the best for you!! Keep the faith brother!!!

Mac,

I know you love your mother, but she is destroying your life. Put her in a home.

When my mother got too demented to stay in her apartment, I had her moved to a special nursing home for Alzheimers. I really didn't want to move her, but her situation had severely deteriorated. The social worker reassured me that despite the move, my mother would probably not really rmember her old apartment, so I shouldn't worry about moving her.

Do it. You are in too much pain because of her dementia.

This week, mom reached a new pinnacle in her paranoia: she thinks her "man and wife caregivers" are plotting to kill her. She claims they told her they were going to kill her and seize her $50,000 she has in savings.

I'm her only caregiver and she doesn't even have $100 in savings. When she doesn't recognize me, she sees me as her potential murderer.

Where's Perry Mason when I need him

Bail!

Oh, Wolfie - this may be getting beyond even your renowned coping ability. I am worried about you. --FLO--

Uncle Flo (imported) wrote: Fri Jun 29, 2007 10:15 am Oh, Wolfie - this may be getting beyond even your renowned coping ability. I am worried about you. --FLO--

Please take care of yourself.

I remember when my mother was in bad shape, cancer, we tried to keep her at home tell the end but soon discovered that we could not take care of her. She weighed in at around 350 and she was just to big for us to handle. I know how you feel my friend but at some point in time you may need to think this whole thing. Its not easy, my heart goes out to you my friend,

Keep the faith,

River

Mac,

Your mother's delusions should make it very easy for you to find assistance. One outburst like that in court and the Judge will have to rule in your favor. You have already got some witnesses in the form of the paramedics who showed up at your house recently.

Get the court to put her in an institution where she can get some much needed medication. Sooner or later, she is going to harm either herself or someone else!

Kangan

There is one advantage to having mom in her own home. I have a source of food, a place to sleep, tv to watch and internet to live on. If she went to a home, I'd get the house but her income, which she and I live on, would go to the senior home. I'd have to scramble just to find work on time to make the monthly bills and food.

In the three years I cared for her, Ive run through my savings and checking accounts so I'd be starting my new live with zero cash. Course, I'll face the same economic dilemna when mom dies too.

I plan to keep her alive and home as long as possible...at least till my nerves hold out.

MacTheWolf (imported) wrote: Sun Jul 01, 2007 10:06 pm Kangan

There is one advantage to having mom in her own home. I have a source of food, a place to sleep, tv to watch and internet to live on. If she went to a home, I'd get the house but her income, which she and I live on, would go to the senior home. I'd have to scramble just to find work on time to make the monthly bills and food.

In the three years I cared for her, Ive run through my savings and checking accounts so I'd be starting my new live with zero cash. Course, I'll face the same economic dilemna when mom dies too.

I plan to keep her alive and home as long as possible...at least till my nerves hold out.

Wow! You must be Superman (Nerves of Steel) to manage that! Best wishes.

Kangan (imported) wrote: Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:09 am Wow! You must be Superman (Nerves of Steel) to manage that! Best wishes.

Stomach-wise, I think I'd fill out a costume more like Adam West as the Caped Crusader )

A hero's a hero no matter what color your cape is.

Mac--

It's a good idea never to take anything for granted where money is involved. If your mother is sent to a nursing home and a government agency gets conservatorship over her affairs, then, unless your name is on the deed to the house, whoever gets control of her affairs might decide to start charging you rent. If you couldn't pay whatever they decide to charge, then you'd be evicted and might wind up unable to maintain a fixed residence.

If your mother has never been adjudged to be incompetent by a court of law, then she is probably still able to sign legal documents--it's difficult to get a court to find retroactively that someone was incompetent when they entered into an agreement. So, if your mother is considered the owner of the house, and you aren't, what you might do, is have your mother sign a legal document in which she grants you the right to reside in the house indefinitely without paying rent. It should be possible to do this for a few dollars, and your mother shouldn't have any objections to it. You're living there without being charged rent, anyway. A document of that type won't help you if the government gets conservatorship and decides to sell the house to pay your mother's expenses for Alzheimer's care. But you might be able to stay in the house until it's sold and possession is transferred to the new owner. If the building isn't sold, you should be able to stay indefinitely, though you'd better be ready to defend your legal rights.

Remember, anything which somebody agrees to and signs when the person is competent, remains in effect after the individual is judged to be incompetent, unless there was a specified time limit in the document. Being declared incompetent, doesn't give someone a clean slate and doesn't allow the person to start over without having to keep previous legal commitments. Otherwise, there would people lined up from here to Wauwatosa, trying to get themselves declared incompetent so they could get out of some harebrained deal they signed themselves into.

Another thing--you should realize that most conservatorships which are granted to a conservator who has no resources, or only small financial resources, are situations in which a husband or wife gets conservatorship over the spouse's affairs because of mental incompetence. Courts typically do this when the couple has been together for years, and the spouse who gets conservatorship is assumed to be responsible and reliable because of the long marriage bond. It's much less likely that a conservatorship will be granted to someone else, even to a relative, because the court will be skeptical about the motives of the person who is trying to get custody. They've seen too many people stripped of their assets by unscrupulous individuals. If you can get your mother's court-appointed lawyer on your side, your chances are better. Try to get a reasonably comprehensive idea of what the lawyer is going to say at the hearing.

I'd hope that MediCal approves some compensation for you for caring for your mom. Here, too, there might be problems. Agencies like that typically don't like to pay caregivers who haven't had experience in a regular nursing home, or who haven't had some type of verifiable training. If you have had either, make sure that they know about it.

The court that handles the conservatorship hearing, will want to confirm that you are financially responsible. It would be very much to your advantage to have some kind of income at the time the hearing is held, or to have some reasonable prospect of future income. If your teaching credentials are current, you might apply for a job at some of the local school districts, or at private schools. Teachers are in short supply--if your credentials are out of date, you still might be able to get a job offer as a teacher's aide. School doesn't start for a couple of months, so you wouldn't actually have to take the job if you have to keep caring for your mother full time. But it would help you get the conservatorship if the court thinks you will have an income in the near future. You should try to find some type of work-at-home arrangement where you can get some income. It doesn't have to be much, but it should look as though it is steady and you will be able to increase it. A lot of people do this type of thing, but you'd probably have to set it up on your own.

Whatever you do, if the court asks you what you'll do in the event that their are substantial unforeseen expenses after you get conservatorship, don't tell them that you'll take out a trust deed on the house. Figure out something else. The problem, of course, is that the court will think you might not be able to keep up payments on the TD loan, the house will go into foreclosure, and your mother's assets will be gone.

Hope you can find some way to make everything work out, and you can keep your mother out of a nursing home. From what I've seen of those institutions, they are the last place you want to send anyone to.

A new, though minor problem, has arisen. My kitchen flourescant light refuses to light up. I replaced the old bulbs with new ones but all I get is a glimmer of the original brightness. I can't see to do dishes let alone see to cook. I need that light fixed.

Do I call my electric company, a professional electrician or a handy man?

My knowledge of electricity is equal to my computer knowledge which IEunuch, Ken_SD and Christina will testify as low grade moron status... then again, I'm a Macintosh computer user.

If anyone has knowledge of overhead flourescant lighting HELP

I wonder if our recent heatwave has anything to do with it...lights have been out since our average daily temperatures fluctuated between 98-102 F.

MacTheWolf (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 06, 2007 9:30 am A new, though minor problem, has arisen. My kitchen flourescant light refuses to light up. I replaced the old bulbs with new ones but all I get is a glimmer of the original brightness. I can't see to do dishes let alone see to cook. I need that light fixed.

Do I call my electric company, a professional electrician or a handy man?

My knowledge of electricity is equal to my computer knowledge which IEunuch, Ken_SD and Christina will testify as low grade moron status... then again, I'm a Macintosh computer user.

If anyone has knowledge of overhead flourescant lighting HELP

I wonder if our recent heatwave has anything to do with it...lights have been out since our average daily temperatures fluctuated between 98-102 F.

Open the light up, and see if there is a ballast (a black box thing about 6-8" long 2" square) - behind the light bulb area. Or a starter - about an inch in diameter, about 2 inches long. One twists in (starter), the other wires in (ballast). Replace it. Problem will be fixed - probability 90%. Otherwise, replace the fixture. Probably much cheaper than fixing it.

MacTheWolf (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 06, 2007 9:30 am A new, though minor problem, has arisen. My kitchen flourescant light refuses to light up. I replaced the old bulbs with new ones but all I get is a glimmer of the original brightness. I can't see to do dishes let alone see to cook. I need that light fixed.

Do I call my electric company, a professional electrician or a handy man?

My knowledge of electricity is equal to my computer knowledge which IEunuch, Ken_SD and Christina will testify as low grade moron status... then again, I'm a Macintosh computer user.

If anyone has knowledge of overhead flourescant lighting HELP

I wonder if our recent heatwave has anything to do with it...lights have been out since our average daily temperatures fluctuated between 98-102 F.

I'm guessing it is the starter if it is an older fixture. There should be a silvery round thingy near one end of the fixture between the light tubes. Give it a quarter turn to the left (anti-clockwise) and it should come loose in your hand. Go to Wal-Mart and look for one with the same ratings on it - i.e. bulb wattage. Stick the new one in and twist it clockwise while gently pushing up until it locks in place.

If that does not work or there is no obvious starter device, then the ballast needs to be replaced by someone with electrical knowledge. Don't try ballast replacement on your own as there are many different kinds and flavors.

A starter should be cheap, but a ballast can cost big $$$.

Kangan (imported) wrote: Sun Jul 08, 2007 12:52 am I'm guessing it is the starter if it is an older fixture. There should be a silvery round thingy near one end of the fixture between the light tubes. Give it a quarter turn to the left (anti-clockwise) and it should come loose in your hand. Go to Wal-Mart and look for one with the same ratings on it - i.e. bulb wattage. Stick the new one in and twist it clockwise while gently pushing up until it locks in place.

If that does not work or there is no obvious starter device, then the ballast needs to be replaced by someone with electrical knowledge. Don't try ballast replacement on your own as there are many different kinds and flavors.

A starter should be cheap, but a ballast can cost big $$$.

It is almost always cheaper to change a light fixture than to replace the ballast. The florescents in my shop are only $7.00; fancy ones Without being ridiculous are $20.00. They are very easy to replace, mount, connect, etc.

And he'd know about easy mountings.......

hehehe... Sorry, cheap shot.

Kristoff, Daughter has a point,

: laugh:

River

There is absolutely, utterly no need for any kind of rebuttal at all whatsoever...... Clear enough?

kristoff wrote: Fri Jul 06, 2007 1:21 pm Open the light up, and see if there is a ballast (a black box thing about 6-8" long 2" square) - behind the light bulb area. Or a starter - about an inch in diameter, about 2 inches long. One twists in (starter), the other wires in (ballast). Replace it. Problem will be fixed - probability 90%. Otherwise, replace the fixture. Probably much cheaper than fixing it.

This sounds like a Saturday Night Live routine about Jimmy Carter. Of course, you sound as if you know exactly how to fix the problem. You impressed me.

Bad News: A fixit person with an average IQ could fix my kitchen light. Unfortunately, fixit wise, I'm a low grade moron.

Good News: I borrowed the living room table lamp to see what I'm doing in the kitchen.

Bad News: my "space bar" on my keyboard died. I took it apart, cleaned all the contacts...Still dead.

Good News: A redheaded angel of mercy in Maryland is sending me a new keyboard which UPS says should arrive before before 8:00pm tonight

Currently, I'm using my old old keyboard which has dysfunctional "M" and "N" keys but better than nada.

I wish I had daughter's humor skills and Kristoff's home repair skills. Hell, I'd even settle for IEunuch's wealth...rumor has it he inherited the hoard of Smaug *

* lil known reference to the Hobbit