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Posted: **Thu Apr 26, 2012 10:03 am**

I knew it wasn't just me - this taking my time talking thing! It's beccause I am introverted, at least according to several sources. Introverted folks tend to want to think before opening their mouths and prefer written communication over speaking. Used to be, on the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory, that I was as introverted as one could be. Since transitioning, I am now merely moderately introverted.

There is hope!

Posted: **Thu Apr 26, 2012 10:55 am**

Danya,

one of my hardest lessons in life was to learn when to listen and when not to say a thing.

It is so hard to do that. Silence is terrible.

Posted: **Thu Apr 26, 2012 11:28 am**

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 26, 2012 8:21 am yI am excited that all the physical therapy appointments over the past two months, and my PT exercises at home, are finally paying off. Over the last week, I've been able to sit 'normally,' without the support of a special cushion. This only works for 15 - 20 minutes but it's great progress. Two weeks ago, I had to walk 4 miles at the 'Mall of Death' before I could sit for even a few seconds. With three PT appointments remaining, now spaced ever other week, I am looking forward to no longer standing much of the day.

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Posted: **Thu Apr 26, 2012 11:30 am**

I agree, Dave. I need to regain some balance. This was not a problem when I interviewed in Illinois. I think part of what's happening now is that I have been mostly confined to home for 5 1/2 months. It's great to get out for an interview. I cannot allow my confinement, however, to be an excuse for poor judgement during the interview

What really concerns me, at least at the office, is I tend to say very little even when that is what others expect.I prefer to process what I hear at meetings and then speak. And not speak too much at that. It's my preferred way of operating. In my line of work (still fairly new to me) what is valued is thinking quickly on one's feet. I need to be more adept at that, or at least better at letting others know I am engaged. I am.

Posted: **Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:29 pm**

Danya,

Dave (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 26, 2012 10:55 am one of my hardest lessons in life was to learn when to listen and when not to say a thing.

It is so hard to do that. Silence is terrible.

A person who greatly influenced me put is this way. To be an adult you had to learn two things and the second is much harder than the first. The first is to know how to keep your mouth shut, and the second is to know when not to. He said too many people thought they could do the second without learning the first.

Transward

Posted: **Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:31 am**

Mac (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 26, 2012 11:28 am I have heard that arguemrnt, too. Ask them questions. Get them to talk about the company and themselves. It takes the focus off of you.

You are absolutely correct, Mac. One definitely needs to ask questions about the role and the company. Hiring managers want to know that you have res

transward (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:29 pm earched their company and are genuinely interested.

A person who greatly influenced me put is this way. To be an adult you had to learn two things and the second is much harder than the first. The first is to know how to keep your mouth shut, and the second is to know when not to. He said too many people thought they could d

o the second without learning the first.

Transward

I have heard similar things and agree, Transward. Many years ago, a retired principal friend added this bit of advice, "Keep your big mouth shut and your big ears open.[

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I app

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2011 3:21 pm

reciate the input from Dave, Mac and Transward. What

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:39 pm I ab

solutely need to do is get back to my basic inter

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:58 pm

view skills that have served me well before. Those in

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:53 pm

clude answering questions as simply and directly as

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:44 am

possible. Even to the point of giving nothing more th

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:49 am an a

yes or no answer where possible. If the interview

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ants more information, he or she will ask for it.

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 22, 2010 12:51 am __

________________________________________________ ______________________________________________
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I'm not certain if this played a part in all the time the recruiter took to refresh my interview skills, but we both graduated from the same college. I have never run into another agency recruiter as capable, engaged and professional. I sent him a thank you email yesterday afternoon.

He is recommending that I be submitted to the company on the basis of my being a very good match for the role.

Posted: **Sun Apr 29, 2012 7:44 am**

Late yesterday, I wrote to a friend here that I have little time to write or read anyone else's posts. My job search, PT exercises, hot and cold compress treatments, and dilating consume most of each day. I'm also reviewing and editing a scientific paper a young friend from Chicago hopes to have published. Yet here I am a day later posting. I've written many times that, on my own threads, I'm writing because it helps me sort things out. Or at least make some peace with the way things are for me right now. So, some of what I write may be repetitive. Even so, it helps me to write out certain things that I've written before. Being able to read my older posts, even going back several years, reminds me of how far I have come on what, in many ways, has been a terrific adventure.

I've had some wonderful up times and so not too terrific down times since I started my first tentative posts on EA back in 2007 (if I am correct, but close enough.) For the roughly 6 1/2 months since my last job ended, things have been quite difficult much of the time, although most days I manage to be thankful for the good things in my life and feel some happiness. By bedtime, relaxation exercises leave me feeling calm and at peace with myself and my situation.

This serial unemployment thing is getting old! I really hate that I am now on Emergency Unemployment Compensation. I am grateful it's available, but this is starting my second stretch of extended unemployment since I was laid off in July, 2009. It does not help much to know that there are many other people in the same, or worse, situations. I do emphathize with these folks, though. I realize, too, that the contractor way of life may be the way it is for me for, well, forever essentially. This is still the trend for many IT-related jobs. It would not be so bad if I could count on quickly finding new contracts as an existing ones end.

That is not the case right now, but I'm working to up my odds of finding new employment more quickly. I am studying for professional certification in my field. The study book is incredibly boring and very detailed, but that's the way it is. Few people have this certification, as it is relatively new. Few job posts openly seek candidates with it. In the end, then, it may not help much.

As I soon found out after being laid off in 2009, avoiding most economic news reports is a wise course of action. Reading dire predictions does not help me in any way. I cannot change whether the economy continues its sluggish improvement or we see another downturn before the current recovery ends several years down the road. The only thing I can control is how I react to events and, to an extent, my attitude toward life. On occasion, I like to read Paul Krugman's pieces on the NY Times web site. A day or two ago his column was directly related to another thread here. I may post it there.

I am attending local professional society networking meetings.

For the future, I still hope to live back in Chicago or on the east or west coasts. More people in my field are working remotely, at locations beyond driving distance of the office. If I can land such a job, I could live anywhere. All of this is a very long view of things.

I still hope to start dating, or at least meeting new people, soon. Sitting is becoming easier but I still sit as little as possible. When I moved to Chicago, the adjustment was easier because I could get out and about whenever and to where ever I wanted. I cannot do that now, partly because of my sitting problem and partly because I need to conserve funds. If I were fully recovered, I would at least get out to an occasional inexpensive movie and to visit.

Several weeks ago, I did something foolish and I should not have permitted myself to be in a situation where this could happen. I spilled water all over my laptop computer! I know better and I have never done anything like this before. I had hoped to be able to repair the machine but that would have cost more than getting this decently capable laptop I'm now using. The damaged machine was six years old and starting to behave erratically. I had hoped it would hold out until I am employed.

In another week, I see my gynecologist again. My last testosterone reading, taken last year in Chicago, continued to be

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:53 pm below the test detection limit. Th

e first time this happened, back in 2010, a low dose of Androgel really perked me up. I was more energized and confident. I will insist the gynecologist check my T level so, if it is still too low for a woman, we can take action. I am very concerned too low testosterone is affecting my mood now. I cannot afford to let that continue. It is clear to me after writing this post that my mood is low. I've been in circumstances similar to this time before and I have not felt this down.

Posted: **Tue May 08, 2012 1:31 am**

Saturday, I had the pleasure of speaking, over lunch, with my good friend Kristoff. This was not the first time I've met with him since returning to Minnesota. I always enjoy getting together.

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:31 am
Mac (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 26, 2012 11:28 am
Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 26, 2012 8:21 am [quote="Danya (imported)" t
ime=1333494720]
[quote="Danya (imported)"
time=1330049940]
[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1329174240]
[quote="Dan

D [/quote] anya (imported) wrote:Sun Feb 12, 2012 3:54 am ya (i

mported)" time=1325119740]
[quote="Danya (imported)"
[/quote]
time=1312764300]

Danya (i [/quote] mported) wrote:Fri Aug 05, 2011 5:36 am [quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1312429620]

Danya (impo [/quote] rted) wrote:Sat Jul 30, 2011 2:32 pm
Danya (impor [/quote] ted) wrote:Fri Jul 08, 2011 3:48 am [quote="Mac (imported)" t
ime=1310010120]
Danya (import [/quote] ed) wrote:Thu Jul 07, 2011 7:20 am
Danya (imp [/quote] orted) wrote:Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:28 pm
mported)" time=1299636540]

e]

mported)" time=1299583140]

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Danya (i
mported)" time=1299538860]
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jun 03, 2011 2:55 am [quot

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Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 27, 2011 4:44 am ime=1[
quote="Danya (imported)" time=1312486560]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:47 pm

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Danya (imported) wrote: Thu May 19, 2011 2:25 pm [quot
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Danya (imported) wrote: Thu May 05, 2011 6:52 am t[q

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ime=1299197580
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]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 01, 2011 11:31 am

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nya (imported)" time=1298701740

Mac (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 16, 2011 12:04 pm ]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:28 pm ote="Da

nya (imported)"
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Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 16, 2011 10:43 am ]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 10, 2011 1:42 pm ]
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quote

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jun 20, 2011 10:25 am

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[/quote]
mported)" time=1298502960

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 06, 2011 11:21 am ]
[qu
Dan [/quote] ya (imported) wrote:Fri Jun 03, 2011 2:55 am ote="Dany
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time=1298427360

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:20 pm ]
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quote

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 27, 2011 4:44 am

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orted)" time=1297917840

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2011 9:28 am ]
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mported)" time=1297814340

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 1:08 pm ]
[quote

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu May 19, 2011 2:25 pm

="Danya (i
[/quote]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:25 am ]
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quote

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 06, 2011 6:22 am

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[/quote]
mported)" time=1296531120

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:25 pm ]
[quote
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[/quote]
time=1296439380

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 09, 2011 1:09 pm ]
[

quote

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 01, 2011 11:31 am

="Danya (i
[/quote]
mported)" time=1296271260

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:19 pm ]
[

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[quote
[/quote]
="Danya (imported)"
[/quote]
time=1295827080

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:01 am

]

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 16, 2011 10:43 am [quote="Dany

a (imported)"
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time=1295670060]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 10, 2011 1:42 pm time=1

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Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 05, 2011 9:56 am ]
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ote="Danya (imported)" time=1302052860]
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[/quote]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:13 am 0]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 29, 2011 1:08 pm mported)" time=1299018060]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:25 am 298937060]
nya (

i
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Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 26, 2011 5:29 pm

]

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:25 pm [quote="Danya (

imported)"
[/quote]
time=1292939460

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 25, 2011 11:25 am

]

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 09, 2011 1:09 pm ______

__________
[/quote]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:21 pm

_

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:19 pm ________ _______

__________
[/quote]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:16 am _[quo

te="Danya (imported)" time=1299538860]
_________
[/quote]
_______
[/quote]
_________

After six mont

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:16 pm

hs of li
[/quote]
v

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 07, 2011 1:24 pm ing in Minnesota, I finally got my new licen
Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 17, 2011 3:44 pm s
Da [/quote] nya (imported) wrote:Sat Mar 05, 2011 9:56 am e and p
lates this morning. State law requires that n
Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:59 am
ew resid
ents must complete these steps within 60 days
Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 09, 2011 2:12 pm .
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:13 am So I was late b
y four mo
nths. I was ho
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:13 am nest when
Danya (imported) [/quote] wrote:Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:32 pm the depu
t
Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 02, 2011 9:21 am y asked how long I had been here. She went a
it
straight face, responded with the 60
]

ake the Knowledge Test. All of that [quote="Danya (imported)" time=1294620240
]
Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:59 am studyin
g for nothing!

I really like the new photo
Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:49 am
It's the best I've had for an offici

ent and far superior to my passport photo.

[quote="Danya (imported)" time=1292939460
___________________________________ ____________________________________________[quote=
"Danya (imported)" time=1296271260]
______
_________

Job interviews are picking up. Wednesday, I have the third and final set of

in

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:58 am terviews for a permanent job. It's been over a month since the first interview, but I am not surprised. Pe
Da [/quote] nya (imported) wrote:Sat Jan 22, 2011 3:21 pm rmanent hiring frequently is a much longer process that contract hiring.

I have a phone interview this
af
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:39 pm ternoon.

I may be offered an essentially permanent job in Rhode Island. I like New England and the loca
ti
Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:58 pm on is just an hour's drive from Boston. Then there's the nearby ocean, too. I would need about ten days to
[/quote] Danya (imported) wrote:Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:53 pm drive there, so I do not aggravate my sitting pain.

Last Friday, I had an in person interview for a ve
r
Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:44 am y short contract job of less than two months. If I am offered it, I will accept. The agency recruiter agre
t

Posted: **Mon May 14, 2012 12:07 pm**

I had two interviews that went well last week. Both were for permanent jobs. Of course, I may not be offered either. But of the two, I prefer the much smaller organization because it seems I can be the most help there.

During my time in Chicago, most everything seemed like an adventure. Most particularly somehow managing to fulfill my dream of having GRS. Although I am still glad I had this surgery, the best part was the journey to get there and side adventures along the way.

I want to continue to lead a purposeful life. One where I am working toward goals that matter to me. Perhaps, though, I may not know at times what the goal is

EricaAnn (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 11, 2011 2:01 am . For the first time in my life,

I may be comfortable with that uncertainty.

Part of what has helped me cope with unemployment and my pelvic pain has been living in the moment. Not the past or future, nothing more than right now. I've been getting better at it, although I still have to remind myself if I start to stress out. Being able to do this helps me feel very calm about a future that, in several ways, is more uncertain that what I would have imagined a few years ago. I am getting very comfortable with that uncertainty.

A continuing journey will be discovering who I am as a woman who is, after all, not truly a woman. Not in the sense that I was born a girl or even raised as one. There is no way I can ever know what that must be like. Surgery did not change any of this in the least. In a way, I may have more freedom than many natal women to find a definition of 'me' that is more than 'woman.' Just as any trans person can.

Saturday was gorgeous, with pleasant temperatures a[q

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Apr 03, 2012 10:32 am uote="Danya (imported)" time=13313992

80]
nd a sun-washed sky. I met a friend for
[/quote]
coffee, then drove to the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum. For the first time, I was able to walk up and down the rolling hills of the arboretum without an increase in my pain. In fact, my two hour hike lessened my pain. Finally being able to get around the place reminded me that this wonderful spot, though not as landscaped and with many fewer cultivated flowers than the Chicago Botanic Garden, has its own charm. Including extensive natural areas, allowing for long hikes through woodland, prairie and bog.

I was glad I caught the peak bloom time of the native yellow lady slipper orchids, the large and the smaller varieties. As I had several years ago, I got down on the damp earth, under the trees, to get 'head on' photos of the blossoms. Near the bog, the showy lady slippers were still nothing more than promises of pink and white blossoms to come in June. The plants were mere spikes of white and green poking through the soil.

Posted: **Mon May 14, 2012 10:23 pm**

It's so good to hear you're getting better, Danya..Having followed your journey for quite some time now, I'd say you have all the qualifications to be a woman...I consider you to be one..A very kind, intelligent one, at that..I love your flowery, descriptive narrative..I , too, am a nature lover...I watched a couple of goofy You Tube entrees this morning..A French one about 2 baby foxes in a family with a beautiful Akita dog, who adored the kits....and a story of a pet squirrel playing with his cat pals...Both wonderful and tear rendering... Be well...Good luck...smooches Jackie

Posted: **Mon May 21, 2012 5:11 am**

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Mon May 14, 2012 10:23 pm It's so good to hear you're getting better, Danya..

My progress continues and I hope to be back to normal sitting in a few more months! I'm up to about five minutes on a chair without my special cushion. This may not sound like much, but it's a big improvement.

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Mon May 14, 2012 10:23 pm Having followed your journey for quite some time now, I'd say you have all the qualifications to be a woman...I consider you to be one..A very kind, intelligent one, at that..

I appreciate your very kind comments, Jackie.

Yesterday, May 19, was the four year anniversary of my first day on the job as Danya.

Since then, my life has changed in many ways beyond the very major changes of transitioning. Roughly three years ago, when I was laid off, I could not have imagined how far I would come in several major life areas. Or that I even had the ability to come so far. Certain changes that I initially viewed with trepidation have worked out for the best. For instance: my financial resources are very depleted, yet I feel more in charge of my life than ever. Another example is that, now that I am physically recovering, I am again able to see more possibilities ahead.

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Mon May 14, 2012 10:23 pm I love your flowery, descriptive narrative..I , too, am a nature lover...I watched a couple of goofy You Tube entrees this morning..A French one about 2 baby foxes in a family with a beautiful Akita dog, who adored the kits....and a story of a pet squirrel playing with his cat pals...Both wonderful and tear rendering... Be well...Good luck...smooches Jackie

Tears can be a very good thing. I often cry when I am very happy or overcome with joy when I hear, or see, something of extraordinary beauty.

Best wishes,

[quot

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue May 08, 2012 1:31 am
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:31 am
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