Taking the Plunge.....Again

[nullorchis (imported)]

In reply to plix: Have you tried "weaning" yourself off of "T".

In other words, cut the dose to 75 percent and run with that for 2 to 3 weeks.

Then drop to 50 percent and maybe go a month.

Then drop to 25 percent and another month or more.

I did this over many months, and then recently went to zero percent.

I found zero percent again did not work for me.

Too tired, too weak, but my main complaint was confusion and inability to focus or concentrate.

That just made life too difficult to deal with.

So I recently went back up to 25 percent.

Still have not gotten completely back on track, but I feel like I am starting to come around.

At the 25 percent level there is no interest in sex or ability to perform.

And hopefully at 25 percent I can avoid or delay any long term issues like osteporosis. (in addition to taking calcium supplements).

It may take you less time, or more time, to adjust to changes in T level.

I do not know this to be a fact, but it is my guess that starting and stopping T completely, cold turkey, is not a good thing.

There are a lot of hormones in the body and they need to be in balance.

Slowly adjusting them just seems like it might be a better approach than sudden starts and stops.

[plix (imported)]

In reply to plix: Have you tried "weaning" yourself off of "T".

In other words, cut the dose to 75 percent and run with that for 2 to 3 weeks.

Then drop to 50 percent and maybe go a month.

Then drop to 25 percent and another month or more.

I did this over many months, and then recently went to zero percent.

I found zero percent again did not work for me.

Too tired, too weak, but my main complaint was confusion and inability to focus or concentrate.

That just made life too difficult to deal with.

So I recently went back up to 25 percent.

Still have not gotten completely back on track, but I feel like I am starting to come around.

At the 25 percent level there is no interest in sex or ability to perform.

And hopefully at 25 percent I can avoid or delay any long term issues like osteporosis. (in addition to taking calcium supplements).

It may take you less time, or more time, to adjust to changes in T level.

I do not know this to be a fact, but it is my guess that starting and stopping T completely, cold turkey, is not a good thing.

There are a lot of hormones in the body and they need to be in balance.

Slowly adjusting them just seems like it might be a better approach than sudden starts and stops.

I have considered it, but I doubt I would be successful with such a plan given my impatience I know that when I was taking 2 pumps of Androgel, I did not notice much of a difference compared to higher doses, but admittedly I did not do that for very long (because I was impatient). Testim would be more difficult to gradually stop because of how it is supplied.

I am more concerned about osteoporosis than I have been in the past. Although most eunuchs seem to take calcium supplements, given my desire to keep things natural, I would prefer to prevent osteoporosis through diet and exercise instead of supplements or medications. I wonder if I can realistically expect to be able to do this. It would seem to me that getting an appropriate amount of calcium from diet alone is not out of the question, and my research seems to indicate that exercise can be very helpful for preventing osteoporosis.

[nullorchis (imported)]

Regular testing can monitor calcium and osteporosis.

I get impatient with my impatience.

It is almost as hard to control as erections when testosterone is flooding the body.

Good luck.

[Hash (imported)]

I still use a very small amount of testosterone replacement, I'm actually afraid of reducing it because my body then adapts to the new smaller amount and does not respond if I decide to add more. Someday I know I'll stop the madness and go to zero, but when I do I'll need to remove my penis. It's already gotten quite small and there's no sense in keeping it. I feel now that a eunuch should not have anything, no scrotum, testicles, or penis.

[nullorchis (imported)]

I read with interest your comment about being afraid to reduce TRT because your body

adapts to the new smaller amount and does not respond if

you add more (at a later date).

Adapts how? Respond how?

I recently stopped TRT, but after about a month did not like the increased tiredness, weakness, and confusion.

Is this the adaptation you are talking about, or are you referring to sexual feelings and performance?

Quite interested in this, a new piece of informaiton to me .

[plix (imported)]

It has now been about two months without T.

My libido is substantially reduced from what it was, but occasionally it tries to fight its way back for a day or two.

Outside of sexual effects, I have not noticed much that I can say for certain is due to the lack of T. For me the effects of being without hormones seem to develop much slower than what most people report, if they develop at all.

I do seem to notice my sense of smell more often once again.

I also seem to notice fatigue more often than I remember in the past. While I am not willing to say for sure that this is related to hormones, I am willing to admit it is a possibility. Other things that could be causing this are getting older, working a job that can be naturally exhausting, or recently having to take on a second job (though I noticed more fatigue before beginning the second job).

I don't seem to be experiencing anything out of the ordinary emotionally. About a month ago there was a day when I was on the moody side, but since that was an isolated occurrence, I don't believe it was related to hormones. In the past, I remember being able to cry a bit more easily when off T, and I have had a few crying episodes over the last couple of months, but they are infrequent.

It is much too early to expect any physical changes. Although I have not been weighed in some time, I don't think my weight has changed much from what I can see. My beard still grows quickly, and I still have plenty of hair on my body. I don't think the thinning areas on my head have filled in much, but since they are not completely bald, I remain hopeful that they will over the long term. I have not experienced anything resembling a hot flash. The only thing that potentially could be considered a physical change is that my nipples are more tender.

A couple of things that are surprising:

1. I am still occaionally told that I smell good. I have not applied any Testim in two months, and previously I never heard that outside of using Testim, so I am not sure what could be causing it.

2. I am still having complexion issues. I would not expect that after two months without using T. I wonder if perhaps my body is still adjusting to the changes, which could also explain the libido fluctuations. If I could afford it, I would have my T level tested to see where I'm at, but unfortunately I can't right now.

Although I am not seriously considering using E, the thought has entered my mind. The main reason is concerns about the more serious long-term effects of being without hormones. That means this time it is not so much any impatience about effects. In fact, I'm actually pretty pleased with what I have seen so far. I want to go longer without

hormones before making any decisions

about what to take. But I remain concerned about long-term health. While I have recently changed my diet and get plenty of calcium from food, I am not sure calcium intake will be enough to prevent osteoporosis. I am also concerned about diabetes and the long-term effects of no hormones on neurological health.

In other news, I am still working the job that I enjoy very much. I absolutely cannot believe how happy this job has made me! I look forward to going to work every single day, and I finally feel there is a reason I was born. Unfortunately the second job I mentioned is in the business world, but I think I can tolerate it a little better this time since it is only a second job. I consider my first job to be my "real" job. The other one is only something I do on the weekends to make money.

I temporarily took a break from going to graduate school. However, just last week I decided I am going back to finish. I expect to be finished in summer of 2014.

[plix (imported)]

I no longer entertain thoughts that I am a woman. I gave up on that idea long ago.

However, even though I am not female, I don't think too many people out there, including myself, would describe me as stereotypically masculine. Among other reasons that I have never believed I am just like the other guys, I have always related better to females than I have to males. I had almost exclusively female friends as a child. I still have some items from elementary school, and apparently I listed a girl in the spot for "best friend" on a paper from kindergarten. Other boys displayed rowdy behavior and interests that are typically associated with being a boy, but I did not do any of those things. When my brother and his male friends wanted to wrestle, I was either the referee or just stood by and observed because I had no interest in engaging in fighting myself. Many times my brother would try to wrestle with me, but I generally refused. I preferred the conversations and cooperative games that were part of my friendships with girls.

I did have one close male friend as a child, but the way we interacted was unlike how the other boys interacted together. We had conversations and played games that did not involve any fighting or other physical contact. I had a few male friends during adolescence, but those relationships felt awkward and did not last too long. Even during adolescenece, my most memorable friendships were with females.

I have to wonder if perhaps the way I presented myself as a child exacerbated the physical and emotional abuse I experienced. My brother was quite a bit more stereotypically masculine than I was as a boy, and the person who was responsible for most of the abuse targeted me far more often than he did my brother. I wonder if this is because I somehow came across as weaker, more vulnerable, and less able or willing to defend myself.

Aside from not getting along with most boys as a child, relating to adult men could be difficult as well. My mother had a male roommate who was aggressive and scared me. I could not relate to him at all. She had a boyfriend who was a gentle man, and I remember liking him. They were talking about getting married, and I remember telling him I wanted to change my last name to match his. I still don't know for sure what happened to their relationship.

Many years ago, I wrote a story for a creative writing class in college. The story was written in first person and used a female narrator. Several people in the class commented that I was great at writing from a female perspective. One said that I use a female viewpoint "very well." Another said that the dialogue "sounded like a girl." Although I have not written creative pieces in a long time, back when I did, I almost always used females as main characters. It felt far more natural to me to write from a female viewpoint. I tried writing from a male viewpoint once, but it felt awkward and stereotyped.

One might ask what the cause of my less-than-ideal masculinity is. From a naturistic viewpoint, could it be I did not receive enough T in the womb, or perhaps my T levels during infancy did not rise high enough as they are said to do at this stage of a male's life? If you are more of a nurture fan, could it be the absent father? If my father had been a part of my life as a young child, would I have been just like any other boy out there?

Some might read this and think that is clearly the profile of a gay man. But what is even stranger is that despite all of this, I am very straight. Were I gay, I would feel a lot better because it would explain a lot. I may just have to accept this is a puzzle that will never be solved.

[plix (imported)]

I'm now looking at three months without T. This ties the longest time I have been without hormones.

Things have not changed a great deal since my last update. As I've mentioned, in my cas

e the effects of being without hormones seem to

be subtle and gradual.

My sense of smell is definitely more powerful without T. I have discovered all sorts of scents that I would not have noticed before, and one thing I have recently discovered is the ability of a pleasant scent to put me into a delightful mood.

Recently I have been getting teary-eyed more often. I mentioned noticing this during previous experiences without T, so it seems reasonable to conclude that the lack of T could be playing a role.

I am quite happy with the path I am on. I have always believed that I was castrated for a reason. Just because the reasons I initially believed to be the case turned out to be false does not mean that genuine reasons do not exist, and with each day I become more convinced that I am doing the right thing. I am considering throwing out the remaining T that I have. I kept it at first because I was not sure if I was making the right choice. Now that I am certain I am on the correct path, I would like to get rid of it. Doing so would mean I would need to pass through a number of hoops to get back on T again, and those obstacles would make it that much more difficult to change my mind.

I am heading into uncharted territory here! As long as I can stay off the hormones, the future will bring the longest time I have spent without hormones. I'm excited!

[nullorchis (imported)]

Over the holidays, for various reasons (travel and busy, not to mention expense of T), I stopped using T.

I can only guess that a) I was too busy to notice what changes might be happening and, b) it takes awhile for changes to occur after stopping T.

Eventually I noticed changes that were significantly different than when I was taking T.

I can only describe it as a complete and total "de-sexualization" on several levels.

I liked it.

So after the holidays I did not re-start using T.

Then today I read a posting on the EA that re-awakened my fear of ostepososis.

One of the original reasons I had decided to take a low dose of T was to avoid the negative health impacts of no T or extremely low T.

So, as of today, I am re-starting the use of a low dose of T.

It takes time to develop your own personal schedule of T application as it takes awhile for the body to react to the introduction of T or changes in the amount of T.

So I will start off real low, and each month, up the amount slowly.

I was taking a fairly low dose before I stopped so I really did not notice any adverse effects of stopping it.

And I don't want to notice any adverse effects of re-starting it.

At least my original objective of destroying my body's ability to produce T on it's agenda has been accomplished.

It produces none, and I am in control of just how much T goes into my body.

That was my goal, and I am very pleased that I have control over this.

[butterflyjack (imported)]

Start taking a little bit of E...maybe one 2 mg pill per day...A little boobage never hurt anyone. It's gotta be better than bone loss...Breast gains vs. bone loss.... No brainer to me.. Good luck smooches Jackie

[plix (imported)]

Over the holidays, for various reasons (travel and busy, not to mention expense of T), I stopped using T.

I can only guess that a) I was too busy to notice what changes might be happening and, b) it takes awhile for changes to occur after stopping T.

Eventually I noticed changes that were significantly different than when I was taking T.

I can only describe it as a complete and total "de-sexualization" on several levels.

I liked it.

So after the holidays I did not re-start using T.

Then today I read a posting on the EA that re-awakened my fear of ostepososis.

One of the original reasons I had decided to take a low dose of T was to avoid the negative health impacts of no T or extremely low T.

So, as of today, I am re-starting the use of a low dose of T.

It takes time to develop your own personal schedule of T application as it takes awhile for the body to react to the introduction of T or changes in the amount of T.

So I will start off real low, and each month, up the amount slowly.

I was taking a fairly low dose before I stopped so I really did not notice any adverse effects of stopping it.

And I don't want to notice any adverse effects of re-starting it.

At least my original objective of destroying my body's ability to produce T on it's agenda has been accomplished.

It produces none, and I am in control of just how much T goes into my body.

That was my goal, and I am very pleased that I have control over this.

I can understand your osteoporosis fear - that is definitely my biggest concern about going without HRT! I'm plenty short enough and do not need to get any shorter. At this point, however, I am quite content with where I am at and have no plans to take any amount of T. While I do have concerns about negative health effects of being without it, I would most likely take E if I had to take something.

Lately I have noticed the following that may or may not be related to the lack of T:

The cold seems to bother me more than it used to. Even with my winter coat on, I sure do feel it!

The balding ring on my scalp is not as noticeable as it was.

My skin may be softening a bit.

I have been having these moods where I feel so wonderfully calm and content. I love these moods so much! It seems like the world is such a beautiful place and there is absolutely nothing to worry about. I just get an amazing sense of peace and well-being inside.

As of right now, I absolutely feel I am on the right path. It seems like this is what was right for me all along and I just didn't know it until now.

[plix (imported)]

Lately for the first time in years I am wishing I were a woman. It's not that I identify as a woman or feel that I am one - it's just that I wish I were a woman, if that makes sense.

I recently found out that there is a rumor going around about me at work because I am a man in a woman's domain. I wanted so badly to say to the person who told me about the rumor, "If you guys knew something about me, I bet those suspicions would go way down," but I refrained.

It can be frustrating that because I am a man, I am supposedly not allowed to perform certain jobs. If I were a woman, I know that nobody would care that I work where I do or that I do what I do, but because I am a man, suddenly it becomes an issue. I think it is certainly unfair, but I suppose there is not much I can do about it! I just want to be myself. I don't want to have to worry about something that I love doing being viewed as unusual simply because I am a man.

In other news, I have disposed of all my remaining T. So I am now completely without either kind of hormone in the house! That makes this time so much different from my past experiments because I never got rid of the T in the past. Even if I did decide I wanted to go back on T, I would have to call the doctor, get a prescription, and have the paperwork for the assistance program filled out since I cannot afford T on my own. I estimate all of this would take at least a month and probably closer to two. But I am not worried since I am very happy with where I am at

[plix (imported)]

I don't regret my castration itself, but lately I've come to accept that there are two consequences of my castration that I do regret. One of them isn't really a big deal, but the other one has been causing me quite a bit of pain lately.

The regret that is less serious has to do with my appearance. I'm a 28 year-old man, but I sure don't look like one! I realized that I don't look much different from how I did when I graduated from high school 10 years ago. I don't doubt that this is almost entirely due to the castration. I often wonder how I would look today if I had not been castrated. Surely I'd look quite different. I would have undergone a great deal more masculinization, and I'd probably look like a 28 year-old man typically does. I think the biggest consequence of this consequence has to do with the dating world - I probably don't get as much attention as I might otherwise get from women.

Since I regret not looking like a man my age should look, I think this makes it pretty clear that a masculine appearance does not bother me. Though I am probably an unusual kind of man, I have accepted that I am a man. I'm OK with that. What I am not OK with are the societal expectations that come along with being a man.

The other regret is a lot more serious. I think this one comes from the fact that I have spent so much time working with children. I really want a child of my own. But even if I did have a partner, I can't have kids, and I know that. It's been hurting me so much lately. I never thought I would so intensely want children, but here I am. Before my surgery I tried to bank sperm, but the company I used gave me a hard time, and I gave up on it. I didn't think back then that this day would come. Of course I know I'm not in a position to have a child right now, but that doesn't make the desire any less strong. It's very hard to know that I will never be able to create a life.

I was thinking about these regrets today and was unhappy, but suddenly an incredible feeling of peace came over me because I realized that I am happy with who I am. Despite the fact that I can't have kids and that I don't look as I was meant to look, I know that castration was right for me, and I know that it's made me a better person. Feeling comfortable with who you are is one of the most important things in the world, I think.

[Riverwind (imported)]

Fathering a child any male can do, but what you are saying is that you would like to be a Dad and that is something special, so when you find a partner adopt a child, problem solved.

River

[erikboy (imported)]

That last thing has made me to postpone my castration until I find some sort of solution. But I think there are many alternatives. Yes, I understand that having an own kid is different than having just a kid. There are solutions to that even. Scientist have been able to create a spermatosoid out of female stem cell. I guess it would be possible out of male stem cell as well. I am not sure how much stem cell manipulation ban affects further developement, but probably it affects. Then, you could go to your male relatives and ask their help. You will get then a child who has pretty similar genetic code to yours. Especially if it was your brother. And then just adopting a child isn't a bad idea. You probably know how to handle them. So it should be a pure pleasure for you to grow one up. The child will love you exactly the same way as your genetical child would have been loved you. It will help you to reduce these bad feelinings you have.

[asphalt-cowboy (imported)]

The regret that is less serious has to do with my appearance. I'm a 28 year-old man, but I sure don't look like one! I realized that I don't look much different from how I did when I graduated from high school 10 years ago. I don't doubt that this is almost entirely due to the castration.

Regarding the appearance, you can not be at all sure that things would have been different. I am 37 years old (with intact testes) and looking at old photos, I just started to notice slight changes. But at 30 years was absolutely no difference. And nobody believed how old I am. Not sure but I appreciate that testosterone levels in my system is quite high. For about 2-3 years began to experience a thinning of hair on the head.

I think youthful appearance has to do more with the lifestyle, not the presence or absence of the balls, and is a cause for joy, not sorrow. I for example do not smoke, do not drink coffee and rarely drink alcohol (beer or wine). And rarely eat meat (except fish).

[plix (imported)]

Lately I have been in a bit of a funk. I have felt depressed at times and have had issues with anger. There have been times when I've had screaming and cursing fits, which I don't usually do (especially the second thing). I have also been a lot road ragier than I usually am. I have never been a big fan of road rage, so I'm not too happy about that. Not too long ago I even felt suicidal for a bit, which rarely happens since I started my new line of work a couple years ago (before that it happened somewhat frequently), and my overall mood and outlook on life has been much better during the last couple of years.

I am not sure exactly what is going on, but it could be one or more of a number of things. This time of year is difficult for me in general since I don't work now, and my job is a major source of happiness for me. Speaking of work, career-related issues could also have something to do with it. I know without a doubt that working with kids is going to be my life's work, but the issue of just how I want to do it has popped up lately, and it's been creating a lot of stress for me. I also haven't had much success so far with trying to explore alternative options, which is upsetting me.

It is also possible that there could be something hormonal going on. A few months ago I started eating soy products to prevent osteo and some of the other negative effects of being without T. I experienced a lot of changes, and I suspected something hormone-related was going on. I cut out the soy, and the changes reversed themselves. I am experiencing now some of what I did back then, which causes me to wonder. But I'm not sure what could be causing hormone fluctuations this time since I am not knowingly eating anything that contains a lot of soy. The only thing I can think of is there is something I am eating that has more soy (or something else that affects hormone levels) than I am aware of.

The child will love you exactly the same way as your genetical child would have been loved you.

That made me smile. Thank you

[plix (imported)]

I'm approaching a year without HRT, and I can say the worst thing has to be this lack of energy. It's not so much that I don't have energy to do anything, but I get exhausted so easily when I am doing something. Just yesterday I was browsing a bookstore, and I became so tired that I had to sit down and rest. At work, I can't play with the kids for more than 30 seconds without feeling completely exhausted. I also feel tired throughout the day at work, but I do have a job that can be very exhausting, even more so than my previous job. Another thing is I seem to experience a lot more aches and pains than I remember getting in the past.

But as I've mentioned before, it's difficult to say if this is hormone-related or just a result of getting older (but I am only 28).

As far as my last post goes, my mood has improved a great deal since then I am pretty sure now that most of my issues back then were due to boredom. I am working again, although not at the same job I have been doing for the last couple of years. It is a similar job, and while I like it, I am not sure that I love it with every fiber of my being the way I did my last job. So I guess the only negative I am dealing with at the moment is confusion over whether to continue down this path or return to my last job, which I really miss. At this point I am trying to stay open-minded to both possibilities, the first being that my old job is really my true calling, even though making that job work financially would be extremely difficult and close to impossible, and the second possibility being that the new job will eventually grow on me and I will come to love it as much as I did the last one.

[plix (imported)]

There is something I have been wondering about lately. My mother told me at one point that when I was younger, I apparently told my paternal grandmother that I was sexually abused by the man who lived with my family at the time and who was responsible for physical and emotional abuse that I experienced.

The strange thing is that I have no memory of telling her this, let alone the incident actually taking place. I have my doubts that it ever happened. While I did experience real abuse at the hands of this man, I was also known for making up stories about things he did to me or exaggerating what actually happened. For example, I claimed that he tried to drown me and that he locked me in a freezer. While I have memories of making these claims, I also know those incidents did not take place. When it comes to the sexual abuse claim, I don't even remember telling my grandmother that it happened.

The claim would obviously had to have been made after this man came into my life, and it was likely before I went to live with my maternal grandmother when I turned 10. So I would have told my paternal grandmother about this somewhere during the ages of 7-9. I have told therapists about this (I also tell them that I made it up because since I have no memory of it, I've always assumed that I did). The therapists have told me they don't believe I could have made it up. However, knowing what I do about myself, and also given the evidence that I have (making up stories about non-sexual things that he did to me), I certainly do believe that I could have made it up. But I'm not 100% sure that I did make it up. I think if I could at least remember telling my grandmother about it, it might help me decide if it was true.

The only thing I do remember him doing to me that could potentially be construed as sexual is that at least once as part of my "punishments" for bedwetting (which now I am pretty sure exacerbated rather than eliminated my bedwetting), he lied on top of me in my bed for what seemed like a long time. But I don't remember anything sexual taking place, and this did not seem to have anything to do with what I described to my grandmother.

Back then it was difficult for me to feel animosity toward him. I remember one night during one of these punishments that I told him through tears in the middle of a dark room that I was trying to love him but that he was making it hard. Now negative feelings toward him come a lot easier, and the challenge is learning to let them go.

[Milkman (imported)]

I too was abused on two different occasions . Maybe it was less painful make up stories than describe the sexual acts. It took me a long time to deal with being penetrated and having ejaculate in my body

[plix (imported)]

Lately I have found myself wondering just why it is that I cannot be happy working in the business world like most everyone else seems to be. Well, perhaps they aren't happy working a corporate job itself, but they are at least able to tolerate it, most likely because it pays enough to make them happy outside of work. And of course there are some who actually do enjoy working in business, and while I can never imagine myself feeling that way, I can at least understand their perspective in theory.

Certainly if I were to decide I could at least tolerate such a job, I would find myself enjoying a healthy salary and many of the good things life has to offer that are associated with it. Yet even though I struggle financially at my current job, the fact that I would almost certainly make more money in business just doesn't seem to motivate me.

I learned long ago that my work has to be something I find personally fulfilling. I also learned that business is not where I am going to find that fulfillment. But that doesn't stop me from wondering why. While I am sure that most people would love their job to be something they find fulfilling, most people also accept the reality they need to work a job that offers a middle class lifestyle.

Some might argue this is a generational issue. Members of older generations have said that it is some sort of "sense of entitlement" that causes members of the current younger generation to think their work needs to be something they enjoy. My suspicion though is that older generations have said these sorts of things about younger generations since the beginning of time and will continue to do so until the end of time.

In addition to needing work that is fulfilling, I have discovered that my work also needs plenty of variety to keep me happy. If I am repeating the same task continuously, I have found myself burning out quickly. It wasn't long ago I was working a second job at a fast food restaurant to supplement my income. According to what they told me initially, my impression was that I would get to do different jobs within the restaurant. The way it turned out, I was almost always at the fry station. Each time I came in, they would tell me "You're on fries!" as if it was something different and unexpected. I lasted two months at that job.

One of the things I love most about my primary job is that it gives the variety I crave. Each day is something different. You never know for sure what the day will be like, and this is part of the excitement.

I have reached that point once again where I will most likely need to seek a second job. As difficult as it is to accept, I am also facing that this job will most likely have to be something business-related. It hurts me to think about this, but my bills sure aren't going away anytime soon!

[Riverwind (imported)]

I know what you mean, going to work doing the same thing day in and day out. I was in IT it changed every day, I loved doing that job, it filled the void you talk about and paid well too.

But if you don't like what your doing, it does not matter what it pays.

What is worse is we need more teachers and we need to pay them yet there seems to be an attack on the education system of this country and teachers are being singled out as the villain.

Good luck to you my friend,

River

[plix (imported)]

It's finally happened - today marks one year with no hormones! I have to admit I never actually thought I could make it this far, but somehow I have

How do I feel now? Absolutely amazing! I know for sure that what I did was the right thing. Being without T is one of the best decisions I could ever make, and I am very happy.

So what sorts of effects have I noticed since leaving T a year ago? In the sexual department, my libido is almost completely gone, but I don't think I can say that it has disappeared 100%. Non-stimulated erections never happen anymore, at least during the day - surprisingly I still do wake up with an erection sometimes.

On the physical side, my skin has definitely become softer and smoother. It is possible there has been some mild redistribution of fat (I don't take measurements, so I can't say for sure). My breasts have become perky once again, but they are still very small and noticeable only under certain circumstances. Body hair has thinned, but I still have plenty left! The ring on my scalp is not completely filling in again like it has during past times dropping T - it is possible that this time the hair loss was too far along. I seem to get exhausted quickly when engaged in physical activity.

Emotionally speaking, I seem to tear up easier than I did before (but full-blown crying is still challenging for me, and I have a feeling the reasons have nothing to do with hormones), and I also may be impacted emotionally by certain events to a greater extent than before, but overall my effects in this department seem to be weaker than what others notice.

My short-term memory does seem to be getting worse, but I don't know if this because of hormones, getting older, or possibly the medication I am taking.

Throwing out the T I had left was a very smart decision. In the past people have told me not to get rid of the T in case I change my mind. But keeping the T was making things worse - it was easier to change my mind and therefore more likely it would happen. Now T would be at least 2 months away, and that's the best position I could find myself in. I have no plans to ever take T again, and I want to keep it that way.

[Riverwind (imported)]

Living without T it is different, everything you said I think we all have experienced. Make sure you take your calcium and D3, other then that your good to go.

River

[unencumbered (imported)]

Living without T it is different, everything you said I think we all have experienced. Make sure you take your calcium and D3, other then that your good to go.

River

Maintaining a healthy, low-carb, low-fat diet and daily weight-bearing exercises too. DHEA and vitamin B12 also helps.