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You're more than welcome. We are on your side. --FLO--

Bud, I just wanted to affirm my congratulations to you also for this early anniversary. Thanks for your 1 month update. Here's to a reduction in the swelling. I don't think you're imagining the penile reduction, I reckon it's underway. It is great to see that you are chatting with your friends and associates and that you are getting from them such intelligent insight.

Earlier on you were saying just how helpful and supportive your own Doctor is and I am sure that he remains just that too.

As for your planned trips, excellent (just don't go economy class) indulge yourself. I didnot mean to be a wet blanket {do you have that expression on your side of the Atlantic?}, I felt concern for you but I can see that you are

aware of all the issues and I have no doubt that putting comfort first and

enjoying life and being ballless are all compatible.

Does the question of chosen words still absorb you? Eunuch is a kind of unique word and they sound the same to (almost). Isn't language interesting?

Congrats again on being a Bare Budley here for a month too. It was an enjoyable assertion that you made there

...

Sac_mec (imported) wrote: Fri Jun 23, 2006 6:23 pm Does the question of chosen words still absorb you? Eunuch is a kind of unique word and they sound the same to (almost). Isn't language interesting?

Yes. And it is both interesting and confusing at the same time. For instance, I no longer think of myself as gay oriented, but rather asexual (or should I say non-sexual?). I tried to change my profile on this web site, but it won't allow me to make that change (because I refuse to put in my birthdate).

However, I do enjoy looking at the human body (both male and female varieties) and appreciate the beauty of our Creator's design. Intricate, complex, and yet simply beautiful, all at the same time. As a photo hobbiest, perhaps I should start trying to capture some of those images for posterity. The curves and shapes are captivating.

At approximately 1.5 months post surgery, I now find my energy levels are beginning to plummet (amybe that is a bit too strong of a word, but it is definitely and noticeably going down). Could be related to the fact that I was travelling this past week, and did not follow my normal schedule and activity load (e.g., mucho walking), thus draining more energy than normal. However, now that I am back home, I plan to visit with my doctor this week, and to include a request that a full hormone panel be run. I did begin routinely taking a vitamin B complex supplement every morning, beginning about 2 weeks ago.

I'm not alarmed or concerned at this realization, but simply noticing and documenting changes in what has previously been "normal life" for me.

Just short of 8 weeks since full surgical castration, and had my first major post-surgery blood work done. Testosterone is now at 0.26 ng/ml (normal for males is 3.0 to 10.6). I'm even at the bottom of the female levels for testosterone. Still no HRT and no intention to do so unless really needed. All other hematology numbers were right where they should be with one exception -- creatine is climbing slightly and at the upper limit. Don't know what they may mean, but will continue to watch.

I still have no ill effects -- meaning either physiological or psychological -- from the surgery, other than a significant dip in energy levels recently, but even that has somewhat come back to normal (normal for me).

Overall, this has been a good thing for me. Removal of a significant source of pain (read prior postings in this thread), and also gaining control over my life.

BudleyBare (imported) wrote: Sun Jul 16, 2006 7:49 am Just short of 8 weeks since full surgical castration, and had my first major post-surgery blood work done. Testosterone is now at 0.26 ng/ml (normal for males is 3.0 to 10.6). I'm even at the bottom of the female levels for testosterone. Still no HRT and no intention to do so unless really needed. All other hematology numbers were right where they should be with one exception -- creatine is climbing slightly and at the upper limit. Don't know what they may mean, but will continue to watch.

I still have no ill effects -- meaning either physiological or psychological -- from the surgery, other than a significant dip in energy levels recently, but even that has somewhat come back to normal (normal for me).

Overall, this has been a good thing for me. Removal of a significant source of pain (read prior postings in this thread), and also gaining control over my life.

Congratulations on the new you. Control over my life and behaviors is what I enjoy most about being a eunuch. I am happy you are not having any ill effects and I hope you will have no more need for any surgeries for other health reasons.

A bit more information about my doctor's response to my latest hemotology numbers (lab numbers on my blood). He agrees with me that HRT, especially with regard to testosterone, is not a desired option for me. That is primarily because it would again make me more at risk for prostate cancer at some point in the future. So far there is no indication that I "need" HRT for any reason.

I have a truly wonderful health care provider, as well as a good friend, in my doctor.

P.S., Today I also started getting all the immunizations needed for my trip to Antarctica next January. Four vaccinations today, and more to come in a month, etc.

Dear Budleybare,

It's great to hear that you're doing so well! Isn't it great to free from the bonds of testosterone? Never missed it myself and it's good to see that your doctor is also a good friend. That always comes in handy.

Based on the number of injections it sounds like you're in for....you're not only going to be the only eunuch in the Antarctic but also a pin cushion as well!

Hi Bud,

I too had not heard of Creatine before but a quick search in Wikipedia suggests

that it is an acid that supplies energy to the muscles. A search via Google brings up loads of stuff about Bodybuilders, so it's something that is both naturally produced and no doubt bought by the bucket load by Body builders to nourish their muscles. A reduction in this nitrogenously produced organic acid seems to answer many questions as to why Eunuch energy level falls, it appears. Please don't be over-concerned. I see that in general you are delighted by your life now and as I suggested before Comfort is an important word in preserving energy and also sticking well within that comfort zone. Exceeding it is bad news but I know that some young eunuchs here don't share all that I'm saying entirely [and good for them]

The drop in testosterone is amazing and I can't help but feel that you must feel more mental freedom than ever before. I smiled at your comment about feeling less 'gay' and more asexual. Finding this space between the two sexes and enjoying it is such a relevation. I still feel a gay male but there are many

things pushed at gay males which are way off my chosen path and I'm sure that you agree. I think your decision to avoid HRT is a good one, but as a Chemical Eunuch you know that I'd be bound to say that wouldn't I!?

Enjoy the good times now to the full. Be aware that rest is good; that

applies to alot of folk. I just think that we become more aware of that.

I can feel your smiles and mirth and relaxed mind from here (I wrote this short thread some time ago about Eunuch Intuition, in case you were concerned).

It's great reading your updates. Really great.

I am now a bit more than three months post-surgery, and find that little has changed in my life from a physiological perspective, but that my emotional situation has changed dramatically and is likely to change more.

The most obvious non-issue from the physical perspective is that my penis really hasn't shrunk much, or possibly not at all. It is more "drawn in" toward my body, and no longer gets erect. The scrotum is obviously less filled and thus smaller, but so what. I had previously considered removal of the scrotum, but now I think not. It just is not important for me anymore. And I have not had the problem of crossing my legs or sitting in an awkward position and causing pain. My skin seems to be clearer. The most significant physical change is that people continue to tell me how much healthier I look now. I am not aware of that change because I am with/in my body all the time, but others have a time lapse perspective of the changes in me.

The emotional side of my life is truly an unfolding story in the making. Aggressiveness is dramatically reduced. I am more centered on the things that I deem to be more important in life (meaning less of the material side and more of the relationship and spiritual side). I have no thoughts of sex. I can look at and appreciate a beautiful body (both femaile and male). My tolerance for children has increased, whereas in the past I could tolerate them for about 5 to 10 minutes, depending on the scream index.

I remain true so far on my desire to avoid HRT. I think I've had only two or three spells of hot flashes. My body does seem (subjective assessment here) to be running a bit warmer compared to pre-castration. And many, many people tell me I seem to be significantly more at ease and with an inner peace that they would like to achieve. For the first time in my life I am regularly exercising (and enjoying it as well) now for about one month. Strength training and cardiovascular performance are improving, but the cardiovascular gains are really limited and need a LOT more imiprovement.

Bottom line is that I continue to enjoy the journey that I am on. No regrets so far. And a lot of really neat people in my life, both locally, many by telephone and/or email, and then those here at EA. And I still am looking forward to my trip to Antarctica this coming January. Have purchased a Sony camcorder (first video camera ever in my life) and need to learn all the doo-dads before the trip. And I continue my work with the Course in Miracles and readings of works by people such as Eckhart Tolle, etc.

Hi all,

As I approach the four month anniversary of my castration, I am really becoming aware of a growing change in my outlook in life. However, the change is totally contrary to almost everything that I had expected, and in my case that is probably a good thing. Specifically, I am becoming more calm, and more turned off by negativity. Given that I am NOT doing HRT, everything I had read and had been told led me to believe that the so-called eunuch calm would likely not appear in my case. The exact opposite seems to be happening -- I am becoming more calm and peaceful and peace seeking.

Am I complaining? Absolutely NOT!!! I have just returned from a short trip to the Caribbean side of my residence country, and enjoyed several days of relaxation and conversation with some new found friends. This morning (first full morning back at home after this trip) I started catching up on some back email and web sites (including EA as of late this afternoon). There has been a noticeable "sensitivity" to the negativity of certain emails that I have received, and while pondering them and my changing outlook (to a more peaceful perspective), I received a telephone call from a close friend, one who was also on this recent trip with me. Early in that conversation he said that he has noticed a growing peacefulness in me, and was so struck by it that he had to tell me. It just wasn't appropriate to have that kind of conversation while on the road trip. His comment was not the only feedback that I have received.

So, why I am handling this eunuch state so differently than others? Dunno, but I am happy it is turning out this way.

And still no desire nor need to start HRT.

I've been traveling during the past week to the capital city of my country of residence. During that time, I passed the 6 month anniversary of my indoctrination into this special fellowship. The purpose of this post is simply to reaffirm my happiness at having completed the transition into nutless land, mostly because of the resulting loss of testicular pain and gaining control of my life.

The positive things in my life are already documented in earlier postings in this thread. There are two generally negative items, but I do not view them as major issues. Recall that I have opted to avoid HRT, and remain true to that commitment (so far). The two negatives are that (1) my energy levels have decreased, and I suspect that is because of the dramatic reduction in T, and (2) keeping my weight down is more difficult, but not impossible. Also, I believe there have been some short duration periods of mild "hot flashes" (is there such a term as "warm flashettes"?), but cannot state definitively that I have had any flashes -- it just seems that I have had some periods of elevated body warmth.

Emotionally, psychologically, and such I am very happy and wish nothing to change. I have generally stopped using the "e" (eunuch) word, and in those now rare cases when needed, I simply state that I have been castrated. Don't know why I do it that way, but that is what I presently prefer to describe myself as, a castrated male.

As a precautionary measure, my doctor (as well as friend) recommended that I shift from soy milk back to cow milk in case there is a link between soy and feminization, e.g., enlarged boobs. I have done so, already having large enough boobs and not having a lactose issue as others may have.

My current health challenges have nothing to do with the groin area now. I had a small (non-malignant) skin cancer removed about 6 weeks ago). And then I suffered a major back injury while out walking about 3 weeks ago when a foot bridge collapsed from underneath me and sent me into a river and onto large rocks, causing major bruising of my backside. The three walking mates came to my rescue. Nothing was broken or fractured, as confirmed by emergency room x-rays; however, I still walk carefully.

BudleyBare I am sorry about your fall when the bridge collapsed but I am relieved no broken bones or long term injuries. You have certainly had more than your share of times in a hospital.

I am glad you continue to have happiness in your life. May your hot flashes continue to be mild and your weight gain be minimal. I also think it is a positive step for you to define yourself. You are my castrated male friend.

Hi all,

I've been absent for several weeks now, and all due to the accident involving the bridge collapse in mid-November. I am just home from a hospital stay in which I had my first ever back surgery. It was originally to be about a 2 hour "laminectomy" procedure, but turned into a 7+ hour quadruple laminectomy when I was actually opened up. The bottom line here is nothing but good news, as all of the damage from the bridge collapse was repaired, and now it is only a matter of time (and reasonable post surgery care) before I am back to full capacity.

I've never had back problems (nor surgery thereon) before in my life, but I will be especially compassionate when I learn of someone undergoing such pain. I am one of the lucky ones, first in having the resources to afford the surgery, second in having access to a world class neurosurgeon (along with my doctor-friend who assisted) to perform the procedure, and most importantly the support mechanism to see me through this.

This is now my sixth surgical procedure this year, and I hereby declare enough is enough. It will take me time to catch up on postings on this board, but in the meantime, I wish you all a very happy holiday season. And please do not follow my lead with regard to surgery, ever!

BudleyBare, I wish you a speedy recovery from your recent surgery. I am still waiting to recieve word of my back procedure. I had hoped they (the surgeons) would have interviened sooner than they did. My injury was in April of '05 and they have tried everything but surgery to correct the problem with no relief. Now they realise that some sort of procedure is the only thing that is going to help. If they had done this sooner I would have been in better physical shape to under go surgery (I've gained too much weight from lack of exercise and medications for them to perform surgery), not that I'm looking forward to it.

But there is a procedure they are willing to do and it is minimal invasive (it still will require 6 months of healing time) and should give me a 50/50 chance of returning to a normal life.

I'm glad to hear your doctors got right on the problem to fix your back. As you might guess, it's tough living with the pain every day. Again I wish you the best in your recovery and happy holidays to you.

As previously mentioned, I have been planning a trip to Antarctica. Given everything that I went through during 2006, it was "iffy", but I did get a medical release yesterday to make my long-awaited trip to Antarctica. I leave tomorrow morning, should return sometime in the second half of February, will be very careful, but am packing this morning for THE TRIP.

There is a wonderful life ahead for each of us, if we choose to seize it. Be careful of the definition of the word "wonderful" as I use it here; to me it means full of wonder (or perhaps wander?), not that everything is peaches and cream.

Obviously won't be visiting the EA for a month or so. Wish you all well.

BB that sounds very exciting. I wish you a safe and enjoyable trip.

I agree that we have to create our own sense of wonder. I will be wandering more this year and the first stop is Vermont in May. I look forward to reading about your adventure and welcoming you back to the EA. You will be missed.

I hope you have a wonderful Antarctic time. I certainly look forward to your report on your trip when you return.

You will not, however, be the first Eunuch Archive member on the continent. We have had one member who was resident in one of the research stations there.

Bon voyage!

BudleyBare I hope you are having an exciting and safe time. I keep checking your thread for a new post. I look forward to having you back on the EA and hearing about your adventure.

tugon (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 17, 2007 2:48 am BudleyBare I hope you are having an exciting and safe time. I keep checking your thread for a new post. I look forward to having you back on the EA and hearing about your adventure.

Tugon, et al,

I am now back home from my trip to Antarctica, and am reading the EA board for the first time in more than a month.

One must EXPERIENCE Antarctica in order to appreciate its rugged, enticing and yet very dangerous beauty. You can read about it, listen to people talk about it, see pictures of it, etc., but those avenues simply cannot do justice to experiencing Antarctica.

I won't go into all of the details (you would be bored to tears), but there were some exceptional highlights, such as being diverted to another area to rescue some people from a Norwegian ship that had run aground, feeling the biting cold wind like I have never experienced before (and I lived in Iceland for 2 years!), smelling the penguins, capturing an image of a humpback whale as it breeched the surface, seeing up close the largest private yacht in the world (belongs to Paul Allen of Microsoft fame), talking personally with the lady doctor who wintered over in Antarctica and had to do self surgery because of her cancer, etc., etc., etc.

In sum, I visited Brazil, Argentina, Falkland Islands, Uruguay, Chile and Antarctica, and now have all seven continents on my list of visits. I have one picture that I plan to reduce in size and use as an avatar on the EA system; I was so cold that I could not smile for the picture. And speaking of pictures, I took over 1,500 images, and so you can imagine what I will be doing for foreseeable future.

WOW!!!!!! But it is good to be home again.

Will You have a CD - available ?? n3rf

Today is the first anniversary of my "unification". The important stuff has already been posted in this thread. I am adding a comment today for two purposes, one being to document that I am now one year old as a castrated male, and secondly to add just a few minor updates about what has changed and where I am.

Regarding the minor update re changes, I do notice a significantly reduced amount of body hair, especially on my chest. I still have not engaged in HRT, but am beginning to think it may be necessary for two reasons: energy levels are really low, and also my muscle tone is rapidly declining. Both of these last two items are, admittedly, subjective opinions, but it is my body and those are my perceptions. Still no regrets regarding the decisions. I believe that I am more sensitive to emotional issues now, but not to the point of making a fool of myself (well, anymore than I normally do).

I have enjoyed a trip to Antarctica, am committed to meeting several of the members on the EA at a meeting in August (already have the tickets), and am planning my first ever "around the world" trip. That biggie will begin in late August (right after the MoM), and I will not return home until November.

In other words, life is good. I am happy. I am moving more rapidly toward an inner peace. And I have more friends and fun things to do that I have time for. And so, I feel totally blessed, and that is because I am (in fact, we all are).

Con mucho amor, y hasta la reunion en Minneapolis por 17 a 19 de augusto del 2007.

BudleyBare

I can relate to the loss of body hair. I have not missed it much. I do miss the muscle tone I once had. I could live without the plump thighs I seem to have now. Of course I must admit I do nothing to regain the tone but if thinking about exercise was enough I would be in good shape.

Your travels sound exciting. I am glad Minneapolis is one of your stops.

Budley:

Thanks for all of this first hand experience info. Makes me think that there may be an alternative to autocast after all. I am glad it all turned out so well for you and appreciete the detail about how you felt about getting it done. You have done bloody well, mate as they say here in Aus.

tugon (imported) wrote: Thu May 24, 2007 12:35 am I can relate to the loss of body hair.

I h

ope I lose much body hair. I've gotten incredibly hairy in the last couple years. Eek. ~.#