One Day in the Life of a Wolf - Memorial 7-25-20

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

I just received a call from Social Services at the Legacy Nursing Home. It seems Dr. Eskander has agreed to release mom afterall but wants me to wait till Wednesday night. He wants time to ween her off the intravenous feeding, time to set up some in-home services and so on.

Since they seemed so cooperative, I agreed and said I would go there tomorrow morning to give consent in person. This way at least mom can be home Wednesday night...Thank God.

I do appreciate the prayers and well wishes of everyone here.

[Daughter (imported)]

Be careful when doing anything AMA. Most insurance companies will refuse to pay for any portion of the services rendered if you leave AMA. Regardless, it seems the threat of doing so managed to kick the doc into Nice mode, so no loss there.

[captainnemo (imported)]

Mac, Daughter is right on this one. Also, you should be able to make yourself the designated caregiver through home services. Find out from your county social services office. If so, you can actually be paid for taking care of her. Also, if she is kept at the nursing home, Medi-Cal will pay retroactively. I'm sure that is why the Doc wants to keep her. Also, If she gets the feeding tube, it is referred to as a G-tube for Gastric Tube, since it passes through her abdominal wall directly into her stomach, she will have to be transferred to an acute care hospital, recover, and then be transferred back to the "skilled nursing care facility", at which time, the clock for insurance payment for skilled nursing care is reset. So, don't reject the feeding tube out of hand. Also, Medicare/Medi-Cal usually pays for the feeding formulae.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Mom comes home this Wednesday afternoon "with" her physician's approval. I rejected the stomach tube for several reasons: (1) Her doctor at the Catholic Hospital advised against it (2) Her court-appointed attorney advised against it (3) and I didn't want a 93 year old, frail woman to have that much intrusive surgery. Besides, her intake by mouth has increased greatly.

Now I only wish I could understand what she is saying. Now and then in the past she'd have episodes where her words

sounded like gibberish though I don't doubt

they made sense to her. Her family doctor said it was common among stroke victims and not to worry about it. I forgot the term for it.

Since she has been in this depressing looking nursing home, she seems to have this lack of ability to communicate clearly almost everyday. I'm hoping it declines after she's been home for a while.

On a different topic, after I ran my errands downtown, I did something I'm not used to.....work. I vacumned three rooms, did all my dishes and raked the leaves out of half of my front yard. I stopped at half only because that much filled up the "green" can. Here in my town, we get three trash cans from the city. A black one for kitchen garbage or catbox dumping, a blue one for recyclybles such as paper, glass, cardboard, etc and a green one for grass leaves, leaves, small tree branches. As my sprinkler system only partially works, I hand watered the yard.

It may not sound like much for a day's work, but it's more than I'm used to and I feel satisified with myself.

Mom's attorney called and reminded me of our Conservatorship court date on November 19. She said I would likely be appointed to act for mom in all medical matters but not for financial matters. To act for her financially, I would have to raise $1,500, the fee for a $300,000 bond. No way do I have access to even ten percent of that much money.

The alternative, according to mom's attorney, is for me to locate and appoint a fiduciary (sp) who would act for mom to pay her bills. The court is sending me as a list of these fiduciaries for me to call and chose from.

I knew it. I should have been a lawyer, a car salesman or a mechanic.

[Blaise (imported)]

It is good to hear some other competent people oppose the stomach tube. That ought to make you feel good about your judgment. I think you make good choices for your mother.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Mom comes home tomorrow at 1:00pm. WOO HOO

That should end a great deal of my depression. You have to realize that during the last few weeks, I had a panic attack everytime the phone rang. Each time I answered it I was afraid it was going to be a nurse saying, "your mother passed away tonight." I lived in daily fear of that call.

Now, after tommorrow, I can answer the phone without fear

[Blaise (imported)]

Mom comes home tomorrow at 1:00pm. WOO HOO

That should end a great deal of my depression. You have to realize that during the last few weeks, I had a panic attack everytime the phone rang. Each time I answered it I was afraid it was going to be a nurse saying, "your mother passed away tonight." I lived in daily fear of that call.

Now, after tommorrow, I can answer the phone without fear

Good for you and good for your mother. By telephone, I talk to my mother at least once daily. I enjoy her. I know that you love your mother in spite of the illness that ravages her.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

DAMN CHEAP-ASS NURSING HOME

I arrived there at 12:45pm to sign out mom.

The nurses said they had a wheelchair van to take her home but not a spare wheelchair. I had to walk home three blocks, grab mom's wheelchair and wheel it back up there. GROWL

UPDATE: Mom is home watching her TV in her favorite chair. She sipped cold water so far. I'll see later how she handles my cooking.

The only problem so far is that I can't understand 75% of what she says. I suppose I'll be doing a lot of guessing or take up mind-reading.

I'm glad she's home. It's not lonley here now

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

I tried to call mom's "court-appointed attorney" to let her know mom was home but she was out of the office so I'll try later or tomorrow.

I called mom family physician to let them know mom was home. They said they would notify In Home Supportive Services which will bring out the nurse every two weeks and Frankie, her favorite LVN, who would bathe her, do her hair and nails, bring her free goodies like sweaters and slippers and most of all talk to her.

The nurse at Dr. Gomer's office told me I could make a followup appointment after mom was home for a week or so. I mentioned we no longer had a car but she said, "no problem." Transportation can be arranged she said, for FREE, paid for by Medicare.

Sounds go so far.

After the last month of depression and Hell, it's nice to have some good news for a change

[Daughter (imported)]

Oh I am so glad things are working out so far, and looking up it seems. My grandmother died in August, four years after having a major stroke. She too lost her speech, and would answer every question with a resounding "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo..." It was the only thing she could make work. She did eventually regain a vocabulary of some 200 words. Unfortunately she ended up having another stroke that reset her vocab to "No." You might want to ask around about maybe getting your Mom a speech therapist. I'm not sure how that would fit in with Medicare, but it's worth asking.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Daughter

While mom was at the nursing home she had a "speech pathologist" who function was to reteach her how to eat. The nurses said they had to feed her because she couldn't use utensils. Tonight, I fed her some ground beef, mashed potatoes and pinto beans. I gave her a fork and a spoon and she ate most of it, on her own. I didn't have to spoon feed her a thing

I'll ask about a speech therapist when her LVN comes by tomorrow.

[Daughter (imported)]

Definitely positive news! And you'd said that you understand her part of the time, so I'd be willing to bet with the right help she could regain a good chunk of vocabulary too. Good Luck!!!

[Blaise (imported)]

Thanks for the good news. I am happy for you, even though you have an immense job.

[XtheUndead (imported)]

I gave her a fork and a spoon and she ate most of it, on her own.

Probably because she feels better just being back home! Good luck to you, Wolf, you've had enough grief for a good long while.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Mom awoke this morning about 10:00am and complained until after noon. On the positive or negative side, depending on one's point of view, I didn't mind the complaining because it was jibberish and I had no idea what she was saying. Right now, I'm awaiting the arrival of Frankie, her bather in In Home Supporting Services.

Yay, Frankie's here

Frankie stayed over an hour, washed mom's hair and gave her a shower. Frankie has been working with mom two days a week for two years now. Before she left today, she said to me, "your mom has changed since she came out of the nursing home." According to Frankie, mom whined constantly and apparently she had never done that before. Frankie couldn't understand mom's words either though I did hear some real words today. She even called me by name

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

The only day I dread now is November 19. Before 10:30am I have to be in Redlands courthouse for mom's conservatorship hearing. By bus, I figure an hour there and maybe an hour back not counting a 30 minute court hearing. That's close to three hours mom will be left alone with no one to watch her.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Mom's In Home Health nurse just left. The nurse was amazed by mom's negative progress. She said all her vitals were good but said mom was down to about 85 pounds in weight and her mental capacity had dropped dramatically.

The nurse is returning tomorrow with some equipment including a scale. Her physical therapist will also be here to do an evaluation only. I doubt if mom is up to jumping jacks yet. Hell, I'm 32 yrs younger than mom and not sure I could manage those.

Mom has only been eating two small meals per day but small is better than nada.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Mom's attorney arrived here this afternoon. She was pleasant but was suprised when mom found her offensive and wouldn't talk to her. In fact, mom refused to look at her. No idea way. I told her I had contacted a professional conservator named Ruth. I would need to travel to Redlands to meet her

Mom's attorney reccommended a different one on the list named Christina, saying she was better. This conservator is coming to my house tomorrow about 11:00am.

I update as soon as I have the meeting with her. My court date is 10:30am Monday morning.

Mom's attorney reccommended I leave mom at home on the day of the hearing. She said the court would keep her out in the lobby during much of the hearing where she might panic with all the strangers there and me no where in sight. I agreed.

I wish I knew someone local to stay with mom but I don't. Hopefully it won't be more be more than a few hours.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Next Week promises to be exciting at the least:

MONDAY - I need to be at the Redlands Court by 10:30am for the Conservatorship hearing. Unfortunately mom will be alone all the time I'm gone. I plan to take a taxi there and back. Supposedly her nurse wants to visit mom that morning but that means I'll need to leave the door unlocked. Hesitant to do that in THIS neighborhood.

TUESDAY - I need to be in Court in San Bernardino to face the judge over Waterman Convelescant Home suing me for $2,400 because mom overstayed her visit. I'll walk to that one. Not sure of the time yet.

WEDNESDAY - Mom's first doctor appointment. Supposedly an agency called WE Care will give us free transport there and back.

Life may be challenging but it is never boring.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

At 10:25am both mom's nurse and physical therapist arrived together to see mom. Since they were going to be here 30 minutes or so, I took the time to walk two blocks and do the grocery shopping,

When I walked back home there were fire department paramedics outside my house. Apparently, mom's blood pressure was way too high. They decided to transport her to Community Hospital several miles from here but that is where her doctor works out of.

They just left about ten minutes ago. I'll give more details as I get them. The only thing different I noticed about mom was from 9:00pm last night to 8:00am this morning she was urinating every 40 minutes.

This is Southern California. When it rains, it pours.

[lilac (imported)]

Big Hugs Wolfie!!!!! Hang in there, your doing a fine job.

love and hugs, Lilac

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

THANK YOU Lilac

On a previous post, I said I had two court dates, Monday and Tuesday. In my lack of sleep or inattention to detail, I goofed. Monday morning (19th) at 10:30am is the hearing for mom's conservatorship. Barring bad news from the hospital or mom returning home that day, I'll be taking a taxi to that court hearing wearing my best and clean blue jeans and sneakers.

The other court date for the nursing home that is suing me isn't until Monday November 26th.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

A nurse from the hospital called a few hours ago. She said mom's blood pressure was stable and they were trying to figure out what caused it to spike so high and were awaiting more test results.

She said mom might be admitted to a room for observation for a day or so and said to call back tomorrow unless they contacted me first.

I hope for the best.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

I walked uptown to pay most of the utility bills today and took the bus downtown to City Hall to pay the water/trash bill then took the bus home. Strangely, all my utilities are paid this month.

I called mom's nurse at Community Hospital to check on her progress. Her blood pressure is still stable but they decided to keep her for a few days as they are treating her for a "urinary tract infection." Sister Kristoff can empathesize with mom on that condition as mom has a garden hose too

That's all for now.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

A Minor Miracle:

That damn toilet has still been leaking for the last several weeks. Since I had money leftover after paying all the utility bills, I called a plumber. He said I needed new connections, a new toilet and possibly a new floor. I agreed but said all I wanted was to have the leak fixed. I left him alone for three minutes as I fed the dog, I returned and he had the leaked stopped. I looked down and no water was coming out.

The plumber says his minimum was normally $50 but he could tell I was not among the Fortune 500 and only charged me $25.00.

I think I got a good deal