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Glad you are enjoying life as a eunuch. It is good hearing about great experiences and for that matter the bad ones as well. Nothing wrong with being fully informed before committing to such an endeavor as becoming a eunuch.

I shave my balls and dick, and have for many years. My wife recently got me into shaving my whole body pretty much now too. I don't see why hair would make others talk about you, and you shouldn't care either. Hair doesn't make one less or more of a man, it's your personality and your actions that make us who we are. Right?

Well, yesterday marked the 2nd anniversary of my initiation into our special community. I spent the day in my language class, a spiritual group that I am involved with, and then dinner (bowl of soup and some hot tea) with close friends at a local restaurant. This was exactly the kind of day that gave me a lot of "warm fuzzies".

Little has changed from a health condition perspective, with the exception of having much greater difficulty keeping weight under control, and the minor thing about my fingernails becoming more brittle. I remain not involved with HRT, but see the day (fairly soon) where I may do a trial run to see if it improves the weight control aspect.

BudleyBare (imported) wrote: Fri May 23, 2008 10:33 pm Little has changed from a health condition perspective, with the exception of having much greater difficulty keeping weight under control, and the minor thing about my fingernails becoming more brittle. I remain not involved with HRT, but see the day (fairly soon) where I may do a trial run to see if it improves the weight control aspect.

I can relate to the weight gain issues. Of course I have never been a consistent weight. I was a very skinny child that everyone encouraged to over eat to gain weight. I enjoyed the approval of putting on some pounds but then I forgot to stop and so the skinny kid had to diet. The rest of my years with or without T I have struggled with weight. Good luck with your weight control.

Well, I am just about at the point of changing my mind re HRT. Lower energy level and weight control are the primary issues. I had a consult last week, and he ordered a fairly complete blood analysis. I have the results now, and will be discussing those results and options and issues later today.

Just curious: What are the downside experiences of those on HRT? I have done research, both here on the EA as well as the Internet in general. I am more confused now than before my research.

Hi Bud. I thought I would also post in public (vrs my email to you) for anyone else reading this that is curious. I must first admit my desire to be a "Eunuch" was based totally on my chronic testicular pain. I am not "anti" Eunuch but I am pro Testosterone. Yes I know what a strange combo that must seem to be. Before I had my testicles removed I had been on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) for years. Going on HRT made a lot of changes to my life. Sex drive is what we all equate with castration and my low hormones were making me close to Asexual. In a marriage with a non asexual partner that wasn't good. But this is really important. What I found most interesting to me were the other changes. My moods pre HRT were bad. I was a bit of a SOB. I also had lots of serious anxiety issues. I was just unable to make my mind up about things and my energy levels were next to zero. What was worse was that I could not think clearly. I read books. A lot! While this was going on I wasn't reading anything but the funnies and not always all of them. I had this mental fog. When I started taking Hormones the mood, energy and anxiety were solved very quickly. For me it took a lot longer for the rest to come back but they did and all I can add to that is HOOO HOOO.

My sex drive is ok. I'm not a raving sex maniac / chronic masturbater but when a pretty girl walks by my reaction is "nice!" vrs me thinking things like "What a slut! Does her mother know how she dresses!" etc.

The negative things. With the gels you put them on everyday. Forget them? Whew... Get ready for a crappy day... Or rather everyone around you should get ready for a crappy day. With Gels you wear T Shirts to bed so you don't get massive amounts of testosterone on your wife and kids. Some peoples skin doesn't "like" the gel. With shots? Well there is the injection. To me its not a big deal. After the first 50 or so its pretty routine The shots tend to give you a rush at the start and a minor crash at the end. Juggling dose with any treatment is a project. There is NO WAY that one dose fits all men and its not just about weight or age.

Another con to ponder. When you start on HRT you agree to doing yearly Physicals, regular Lab work to check your dose and yes, PSA and DREs. So if your squeamish about seeing your doctor or having your prostate checked? Forget about it.

Is it worth the fuss? Y E S ! ! ! D:D

After several months of working with my doctors regarding low energy levels and weight control issues, there now is a final decision on my part regarding starting up HRT. I spent this past week in the capital city of the country where I live consulting with the best medical advice I could find. Every doctor recommends for me NOT to start HRT. The energy issues can be dealt with via other means, e.g., B12 shots, etc. The primary reason, and this applies to me based on my specific circumstances is that HRT would more than likely cause additional problems for me.

Accordingly, I have now put the issue of HRT to bed. It may come up again in the future, but it will be the distant future, if at all.

Please do not ask for additional details -- I am not willing to share them. But do be advised that all of the support I have received here (and privately as well via email and phone calls) has been a tremendous tool to help me understand a lot more about the world of hormones and their impact on our lives.

In a couple of months it will be four years as a castrated male. As several of you know (and have messaged me privately), I have not been a regular visitor here at the EA during the recent past. I simply wish not to be confronted with the off-topic postings. I do think about several of the EA members who I have "talked with" (meaning via this forum) as well as those I met at a MoM a couple of years ago.

It was in fact an automated email notice about a subscription that I have on one of the EA topics that caused me to come back into the EA this morning. And from reading that recent posting, I snooped around at the new postings. There was one talking about the demise of the EA because of the reduced number of postings. I don't see that as a possibility. This site provides way too much good information related to eunuch issues. I still do wish the off-topic stuff would disappear, but alas that won't happen either.

Re my particular state of health, both physical and emotional, I think I am doing rather well. I haven't seen a doctor for more than a year now. I still am T-free. The weight issue is something I deal with on a daily basis. I find I eat a lot less now, but I suspect that is more because of advancing age. I am just not as hungry as I have been in prior lives. I am emotionally very stable, happy, and cheerful. I feel blessed in more ways than I can count. I have dropped out of my spiritual study group, but only because the group began not to fulfill my needs. I find now that I can meditate privately and receive all the spiritual nourishment that I seek.

On the eating/food issue, I recently became aware of a different way of looking at food. I watch the Food Network on TV, and Elton Brown made a comment about energy rich foods (think in terms of sugars and carbs, etc.) versus nutritionally rich foods. That was a turning point for me in terms of how I think about the food that I eat. This new awareness on my part probably is not remarkable to many of the rest of humanity, but it struck me as significant in my journey. For instance, I now look at the broccoli that I am steaming in a different way, not from the viewpoint of how many calories am I consuming, but rather how much actual NUTRITION (think in terms of minerals and vitamins, etc.) that I am providing to my body so that it can do its incredible magic.

Like others here who have commented about not needing to continue to discuss/rehash/retell their story of their entrance into our community, I too share those feelings. When asked about eunuch/castration issues, which is extremely rarely, I respond candidly and frankly. This is not something that I am embarrassed about. It is just part of my journey. And talking about my journey, when asked, is something that should be done, in my opinion, from a healthy respect for truth, candor, and full disclosure, otherwise why would I be interested in using my time to no productive/positive goal.

One of the more significant changes in my life, post castration, that confronts me now is my sensitivity to the more nurturing aspects of life. War, crime, and similar acts of aggression really disgust me. Illness, when significant pain is involved, troubles me. I can and do cry publicly, without worry, when there is a significant loss in my life. I can and do express emotions about how I feel, which is something I would rarely do in my prior life.

Another significant change in my life, post castration, is that I generally now do not try to tell someone what to do, how to do it, or make recommendations or give advice. I still don't know if that is a result of castration, or just that I am becoming more adult. I used to be quick to tell someone how to "fix" one of their problems that they would be talking about. Now I express support for them as they determine what they plan to do.

As a retiree, I thought I would be spending huge amounts of time traveling and taking still pictures. That is something that has been my passion since the mid-teens. However, last year, having lost most interest in the still photography, I sold off all of my still camera equipment except for one camera body and three lenses. I haven't picked up the one remaining camera in more than a year. Still photography no longer is a challenge for me. (I do keep a small camera in the car in case of an accident, but that one doesn't count.)

On the other hand, I have become very involved in audio and video recording, editing, and production of events. We have a small but growing number of artists, singers, musicians, performers here in the area where I live. I am really enjoying helping others document their growth and achievements.

I have curtailed a lot of my international travel. Because I live in Central America, just about any travel I do becomes international by definition. Part of the reduction in travel is cost related (I'm retired and live on a fixed income), but also another part is the disgust I feel when going through the TSA checkpoints in airports. It seems so stupid to me. I am not opposed to rational security measures; in fact, I am a strong supporter of such. But the airport stuff I have witnessed is bureaucracy run amok. And the political state of affairs in the USA is another story. The only political personality that has any integrity in my books is Ron Paul. The rest of them are idiots pandering to idiots. [This generalization will get me in trouble; so go ahead and take your shots. Just don't expect a response from me.]

It is best that I close for now. The underlying purpose in posting today is simply to continue the aperiodic documentation of my journey, which now includes the aspect of being a castrated male. And who knows, perhaps I will be able to make another visit to a MoM in the future.

With love,

Bud

It's great to hear that all is well for you

I don't know how I missed your previous postings

But I did , so I spent the last 2 hr. going back and reading all your post from #1

I am just past two years , and have been having the itchy under arms as well

Until I seen it in your post It would have went by and be forgotten as a reaction to laundry soap or deodorant

Much of our experiences are the same as far as post - op

Reading your post gives me a kind of map

The trip has been very good for me as well and the glimpse that you have provided me with gives me encouragement thanks

Bud, it was good to read your update. If you do decide to attend a MoM in the future I will make sure I am in attendance. I would love to see and talk with you again.

I have just returned home (I live in Central America) after traveling stateside for 3+ weeks. My original intention was to visit with family and friends, and to establish a relationship with a new medical resource, given that my US "home" (if I had to return to the USA) would now be the Houston area. And so I went on this trip, with the intention of spending only an hour or so with a doctor in the Houston area, and then the remainder of my time with family and friends.

However, two things happened during this trip. Most important is that my Mother passed away last week, and so stress levels were incredibly high. The details are not important for this forum, and so I will only say that she is now at peace and with Pop. Mother was 90 years of age and an advanced Alzheimer victim. She had no cognitive nor communication faculties for the past six plus years. Grieving is nonetheless still difficult.

The second issue is that the doctor, whom I totally respect and trust, has strongly urged me to reconsider my decision not to do HRT. As I listened to his logic, coupled with the results of extensive diagnostics, I have been convinced that I need to start HRT. And so, now that I am back home, I will start the process of getting prescriptions filled and seeing how things go. A major driver for this change is that I continue to have problems with my left kidney. The good news is that I am not dealing with cancer. The bad news is that there are major issues with my left kidney (given other factors that impact on that organ), and so "here I go".

I will continue to keep major milestones documented in this thread. The routine stuff would be really boring to you.

I just find it interesting that at about 4 years into my journey as a castrated male, that I am making this decision to start HRT. Hmmmmm, the only thing that doesn't change is change itself.

Ciao,

Bud

It is good to hear from you again. Do what you must do to take care of yourself. --FLO--

I have friends who are on no or little T, and I have some on I T. I am a hi T guy myself. I was neutered June 18th 2005 (5th bd coming up woot). I had started T in April 04 so other than natural low T I have not experienced it as a neutered male.

I love my T, I like my morning Hard ons which I get consistently between Tue Morning and Friday Morning. (I do my shot on Sat). I enjoy the horny feeling even when I am not in a position to do anything about it. I also enjoy my NU-XXL neuticles which I carry in my sac.

Good Luck with your T. I hope it helps your other health problems.

Bob

Welcome back - good to hear from you. Our condolences on your loss. Please join us a bit more often. Are you still doing a lot of travel, or have you become a home-body? Those of us who know you would like to know, I am sure!

Welcome Home BudleyBear. Now you're just like Kristoff.

So, when do you get your red habit ?

Bud good to hear from you. I am sorry for the second loss of your mother. She is with your Pop and reunited with her memories.

If you need T for your health please do whatever is best for your health. My lack of T contributes to my mental health but I do not know the long term effects on my physical health. At this point in my life if my health required T I would take it.

If you move back to Houston it may be time for a Texas MoM. Actually I do not know if they have already had one. Would be great seeing you again.

Always good to read a new post from you.

BudleyBare,

You must have been castrated about the same time I started to do my chemical castration. I did it for over 2 1/2 years and now have been surgically castrated for over a year. During that time I have had numerous testosterone tests and have experienced how different levels effect me. Most of the time during my chemical stage my T level was right around 100 and I was generally happy with that. It wasn't at true castration levels but it made me pretty much impotent and not needing sex but left me with strength and the other effects were tolerable. My doctor said he would remove my testes if my T level stayed the same or was lower after a 3 month period. I probably could have just stayed on the same meds (he didn't know about them) but we added some Androcur and after 3 months my T level was down to castrate level- under 50. I didn't like things at this T level. I lost more strength and endurance, I got very dry and itchy skin, got more insensitive to temperature changes and some others. When the doctor agreed to castrate me, he also suggested TRT. From my experience, I was open to some but not enough to get into the normal range. I was most happy during the initial chemical castration phase so my thoughts were to duplicate that. My doctor was willing to let me experiment with the T dosage on 2 month segments. We used Testim gel and it has worked out that half a tube of it every other day or two is fine for me. It is hard to get a true reading of what my T level is because it is so dependant on when I have applied the gel. The gel does give me the ultimate in control of how much I use as my prescription is for 2 tubes a day which is at least 8 times what I am using. The gels are more expensive but my insurance covers all but a small co-pay which is further minimized because one refill lasts much longer now.

My thoughts on T is that everyone is different here, Some survive quite well with none and others need it back to a normal level. I think it is up to you to find out where you would really like to be. You seem happy with no additional T but haven't had any so there still is some question. Since the worst thing that can happen is that if you aren't happy taking any you can always stop, there doesn't seem to me, at least, to be a real downside in experimenting a bit. I do enjoy being in control of my testosterone now, not just my nuts pumping out however much they made.

Good luck.

Welcome back BudleyBare. Your story and sharing have always been a high point of this Archive (not to diminish others' contributions but you have been particularly optimistic and open and just generally inspiring).

The overall discussion on HRT is interesting. The sad fact is that there doesn't seem to be a perfect solution for those with eunuch orientation. For physical health you pretty much need a sex hormone, either testosterone or estrogen. But those of course sexualize you. The good news is that means energy, and muscle and bone strength. The bad news is that it means becoming slave again to sexual thoughts, aggressive thoughts, etc.

It's too bad there isn't a magic wand or pill that could truly just take away the bad parts of testosterone.

But as in all things in life, I'm confident there is a tolerable middle ground and you seem to have enough medical support to be able to properly find that point.

Good luck!

MacTheWolf (imported) wrote: Wed May 12, 2010 7:33 am Welcome Home BudleyBear. Now you're just like Kristoff.

So, when do you get your red habit ?

What makes you think that I don't already have a red habit, as well as a Superman suit (less the bulge in the groin area) ?

...

SplitDik (imported) wrote: Fri May 14, 2010 3:43 pm Your story and sharing have always been a high point of this Archive (not to diminish others' contributions but you have been particularly optimistic and open and just generally inspiring)....

A very sincere thank you. At times I am anything but optimistic, but choose not to dwell on them nor write about them.

...

SplitDik (imported) wrote: Fri May 14, 2010 3:43 pm The overall discussion on HRT is interesting. The sad fact is that there doesn't seem to be a perfect solution for those with eunuch orientation. For physical health you pretty much need a sex hormone, either testosterone or estrogen. But those of course sexualize you. The good news is that means energy, and muscle and bone strength. The bad news is that it means becoming slave again to sexual thoughts, aggressive thoughts, etc. ...

How true, how true. I've just got to deal with the deck of cards that were dealt to me. And such is life.

The blessing in having found EA years ago is that I get to read both sides of the issue and then decide for myself. Thank you EA staff. You deserve all the praise you can get. Here's my praise for you!!!

Ciao for now,

BB

Just documenting that my HRT starts today. The prescription is for Androderm via trans-dermal patch, 5 mg/day.

Congrats on the Patch. I hope it works for you as my HRT program helps me. I wanted to comment on the "slave to sex" comment made in an earlier post. I don't know how to answer this as I'm sure there really are people who are "slaves" to their sex drive. That being they have all sorts of sex with people they are not dedicated to or continually "wank" and so on. What I want to say is that this is not my experience. And its not the experience (That I know of) of the people in my life. Sex can be a wonderful thing. A positive part of life. Just as a glass of wine at Thanksgiving can be a blessing whilst being a chronic drunk can be a nightmare. I think its partly self control and this maybe part of the whole question. That being that some can not "control" improper sexual behaviour and is (BTW) one reason for castration that I'm all for.

But that takes away the big picture which is that Testosterone is not just "sex" or "sex drive" its mood, mental focus, energy, mental health and more.

Thanks Mr. T. You write well and from a place of sensitivity and awareness. I understand and agree with your thoughts.

BB

Just documenting that there is very little, perhaps no improvement in my health status, given that I have been taking T now for just short of two weeks. It may be that I have little bit more energy, but event that is questionable. Hmmmmmm.....

has the itchy under arms gone away?

con grats and good luck on your journey