Page 37 of 52

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:10 pm
by kizahakan (imported)
Slammr (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2010 3:05 pm I would love to go to Istanbul - so much history. I'm an ancient history buff.

🙄 You'r welcomed when ever to visit Istanbul. It is really good for the ones that loves history after being the cap city of both Byzantium and Ottoman Empires, it is like living in an open museum (if you'r in the old city) the new areas are no different than any other metropolitan city with skycraper like towers etc

http://www.vivien-und-erhard.de/english ... /index.htm

some photo shoots from Istanbul 🙄

Greetings from the mysterious Constantinople :)
Slammr (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2010 3:05 pm
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Tue Apr 27, 2010 9:34 pm -------------------------
------------------------------

Dorian Gray of
Constantinople

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:25 pm
by kizahakan (imported)
Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2010 2:03 pm This gave me a chance to get some night photos of the city. Between the botanical gardens and Millennium Park, I took 180 photos. I just finished downloading them.

I am taking my camera! :)

🙄

Well well well, how about applying to Nat Geo or Discovery as a photo shooter? (btw Im not sure which one is "photo shooter" or "photography artist" is the right word or neither 🙄)

You really like taking pictures but how about sharing some of them with us? Do you also upload them to any of the online photo sharing sites like flickr or just on your pc? If just on your pc so please share some of them with us...

What was your profession?And what type of job are you looking for? Im not still sure if economic downturn has ended or is it just the media that wants us regard so... Here at the old continent things are getting worse, our neighbour Greece is on the edge of an economical collapse and there are fears that this may just jump to further Portugal and Spain and make things even worse...

Most probably Im just a kiddie in Eunuch Archieve terms cause most of the frequent users are more experienced than me (see how polite I am and not used the word "older" 🙄) as Im on the edge of turning 34 :) I have to say that I was a kid of economic downturns (dont remember the booming 80s much cause I was just a school boy then)

So do not evet lose your courage on your quest to find the appropriate job and not an advice but also think on how or what you can do in terms of online business that area is still seem as virgin and with the right people you can also have a chance to setup an online business...💡

And also I had to mention this that on one of your responses "a lady has many secrets to ..." was something like that... It was a very foxy (in a positive way) and also was a hit for me as it just remi[quote="Slammr
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:10 pm (imported)" time=1272431100]
nded me how ladies may control men mindly 🙄

Greeting
kizahakan ( [/quote] imported) wrote:Tue Apr 27, 2010 9:34 pm s from Istanbul

-----------------------------------------

Dorian Gray
both the addict and slave
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Tue Apr 27, 2010 9:34 pm of eternal youthness and beauty :
)

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 10:25 am
by Danya (imported)
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:25 pm Well well well, how about applying to Nat Geo or Discovery as a photo shooter? (btw Im not sure which one is "photo shooter" or "photography artist" is the right word or neither 🙄)

You really like taking pictures but how about sharing some of them with us? Do you also upload them to any of the online photo sharing sites like flickr or just on your pc? If just on your pc so please share some of them with us...

Hi Kizahakan,

I would love to be a photographer for National Geography or a smiliar organization. I don't think I'm anywhere near good enough for that, though. I enjoy photography and I keep getting better at it. So I am happy.

There are two sites where I display a few of my photographs. I may create a third to share with Archive members. This will take me at leave a few days.I have got to spend most of my time on the job hunt.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:25 pm What was your profession?And what type of job are you looking for? Im not still sure if economic downturn has ended or is it just the media that wants us regard so... Here at the old continent things are getting worse, our neighbour Greece is on the edge of an economical collapse and there are fears that this may just jump to further Portugal and Spain and make things even worse...

Most recently, I have worked with computers in Information Technology. Before that, I was a research chemist.

:
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:25 pm Most probably Im just a kiddie in Eunuch Archieve terms cause most of the frequent users are more experienced than me (see how polite I am and not used the word "older" 🙄) as Im on the edge of turning 34 :) I have to say that I was a kid of economic downturns (dont remember the booming 80s much cause I was just a school boy then)

I am old enough to be your mother! 😄 Still, at the age of 58 I feel very energetic. There is a lot I want to accomplish in life. I am confident I will find a way to reach my goals. I just don't know what the path will be.

:
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:25 pm So do not evet lose your courage on your quest to find the appropriate job and not an advice but also think on how or what you can do in terms of online business that area is still seem as virgin and with the right people you can also have a chance to setup an online business...💡

There was a time when I had my own business, and part of that was an online business. It is difficult to make money online, although this can be a very good marketing tool.
Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:07 am I appreciate your comments.
So far, I don't think I have lost any courage. I did spend more time today thinking about how I am going to get everything to work out. Not just finding a job, but also what else I would like in life.

I still hope to remain in the Chicago area, but I am putting time into my Plan 'B' - what to do if Chicago is not the place to be. Act
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:25 pm ually, by now this is more Plan 'F' or Plan 'G.' 😄

:And also I had to mention this that on one of your responses "a lady has many secrets to ..." was something like that... It was a very foxy (in a positive way) and also was a hit for me as it
just reminded me how ladies may control men mindly 🙄

My main goal in life is to control men! :D Not really.;) I dressed well for my downtown electrolysis appointment today. I was very pleased with some of the looks I got from the city men. :) As I walked by store windows in my black and white dress, off black nylons and black heels (the comfortable ones!), I enjoyed the sound of my shoes on the sidewalk.

I'm delighted we have a voice from Istanbul.

Hugs,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 1:38 pm
by Danya (imported)
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:25 pm You really like taking pictures but how about sharing some of them with us? Do you also upload them to any of the online photo sharing sites like flickr or just on your pc? If just on your pc so please share some of them with us...

If you are interested in seeing some of my photos, send me a PM. Then I will send you the link.

Or, if you are belong to Facebook I can tell you how to connect with me there. If have a number of photos posted.

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 3:03 pm
by Danya (imported)
This is part of a report released in February of this year. It was published by the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago, which covers a number of midwestern states. (http://midwest.chicagofedblogs.org/arch ... g_chi.html) Any emphasis is mine.

"However, it is more difficult to draw the conclusion that the Chicago area had successfully restructured its jobs base away from its surrounding region to become a global city. Whether Chicago had become more of an interconnected global financial and business center, such as New York or London, is still an open question. As seen above, for much of the 1990s, the Chicago region's per capita income made little if any gains on the Great Lakes region. Rather, by way of explanation, the surrounding Midwest region was also experiencing a comeback of the same degree [1]. Domestic automakers were well on their way to profitability in producing energy-hungry passenger vans and sport utility vehicles. Meanwhile, rapid growth in the developing world supported Midwest production of capital goods machinery, such as farm and construction equipment. The Chicago regional economy continued to restructure toward high-skilled service provision, but its linkages may have remained somewhat parochial. That is, the Chicago area's own growth appears to have been achieved through the provision of professional and transportation services to its traditional Midwest business partners.

In reappraising the era of the 1990s (especially in light of the Chicago region's recent subpar economic performance), Chicago leaders and analysts may be motivated to look more carefully at possible directions for the future. Relative to some other Midwest and Northeast cities, the Chicago area has many assets, such as its prodigious base of professional services and a vibrant central city, which may provide ample opportunities for growth. Yet the future of Chicago's economic direction and structure remain somewhat murky."

I had read this report before I made the decision to move here. Tonight, I wanted to read it again as I consider my back up plan(s). One of the difficulties with evalutating a potential move for employment is the complexity of a region's economy. The Chicago area economy is very complex, although not nearly so globally centered as those of New York and London - as the article notes. I have recently read that the New York region is expected to soon experience significant job growth in some sectors, despite the fact that the economic meltdown began there. I love Chicago and I really love New York.

There are a number of sources that attempt to rate the global importance of cities. Factors taken into account can include business, financial, political and cultural influence. Wikipedia gives one ranking. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_city) New York and London are at the top of the heap. Chicago only makes it into the bottom ranking of alpha world cities. I have seen other sources that rank it even lower versus New York, which is typically on top. The Chicago Federal Reserve report confirms its own doubts that the city has truly reached global status.

That's OK with me. :) As you may have noticed, I love big cities. Chicago fits the bill. Just as the report notes, it has a very vibrant downtown. With very expensive parking rates to match. 😄

The specific types of jobs I am looking for are in economic sectors that are predicted to fare better than others in Chicago. I also knew before I moved that the jobs recovery here was expected to lag the Twin Cities by roughly 3 months. Again, though, that is a broad look at economic trends and does not clearly show how Information Technology, for instance, will fare in the two regions. I used other data sources to satisfy myself that I would have more opportunities here. This has proven to be the case. When I speak with a
Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Mar 07, 2010 7:00 am close friend in the Twin Cities,
an IT project manager, she still thinks I made the right choice.

There were other reasons besides my job search and the city size that led me here. Most particularly, a better environment for continuing my transgender journey and knowing there are friends nearby.

As I continue to apply for jobs here, I am expanding my research into other job markets. I am creating a list of other places I would consider (e.g., New York, Philadelphia. Portland, Oregon, Seattle and certain mid-continental cities). I know I can be happy in a much smaller city, because I enjoy the outdoors, too. I am also making a list of places I will not go. I have got to feel that I am in an environment that is reasonably friendly towards trans people. If I were past GRS, I would not be as concerned. I have to deal with the reality of my situation.

It has been nine months now since I lost my job. I must be prepared to move, for a job offer, if things are not looking sufficiently positive here by, roughly, early July. Possibly sooner if a really good possibility comes my way. I want to get on with my life and I need a good job to do that. Besides, I want to work and enjoy it.

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 3:04 am
by kizahakan (imported)
Hi Danya,

Thank you for all your kind words and also thank you very much for spending your time to answer all the posts including mine, this is really very kind of you...

You mentioned that you also worked as a research chemist...This is really cool. I also worked in GlaxoSmithKline then moved to Roche now Im at a local generic company in the field of business development though Im an economist ;)

You are a nice combination as a research chemist and also have experience in the field of information technology. So have you ever applied for a position at the R&D depts of the pharmaceuticals? Im sure they would not miss a valuable asset like you💡

Id love to get in touch with you in facebook and see you photo shots..You can search me as "Hakan Gumusbaston" and send a friend request then voila ;)

It is really the miracle of technology that let us keep in touch from thousands of miles away;)

Tomorrow is finally TGIF :) and wish you a nice and peacefull week end

Greeting[quote="Slammr
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:10 pm (imported)" time=1272431100]
[qu
ote="kizahakan (imported)" time=1272368040]
s from Istanbul

----------------
[/quote]
---------------------------------

Dorian Gray
[/quote]
from the dungeon
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Tue Apr 27, 2010 9:34 pm of eternal youthness and beauty
🙏

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 9:08 am
by Danya (imported)
Hi Danya,

...
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 3:04 am You are a nice combination as a research chemist and also have experience in the field of information technology. So have you ever applied for a position at the R&D depts of the pharmaceuticals? Im sure they would not miss a valuable asset like you💡

Hi Kizahakan,

My expertise in chemistry is advanced analytical methodology and synthesis of organic polymers including liquid crystals. Recruiters tell me it would be very difficult for me to return to a career in chemistry, because I have not worked there in about 12 years. My experience in research chemistry spans 20 years, though, and I in no way have forgotten much of what I learned in that time. My doctorate is relatively recent. I completed it in 1996. Also, although my analytical skills in molecular structure elucidation are still in demand I have no experience in pharmaceuticals. This is a handicap. :) If there were a way for me to return to a role in chemistry, other than a very low paying technician position, I would be pleased. I am always on the lookout for employers who would value my combination of IT and science skills. Your idea is terrific; perhaps this will work. It may be possible for me to get a job supervising an analytical chemistry lab.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 3:04 am Id love to get in touch with you in facebook and see you photo shots..You can search me as "Hakan Gumusbaston" and send a friend request then voila ;)

It is really the miracle of technology that let us keep in touch from thousands of miles away;)

Tomorrow is finally TGIF :) and wish you a nice and peacefull week end

You, too, have an interesting set of skills. I agree, technology is quite wonderful.

I will send you an invitation from my Facebook account. It will include the name I use here plus a last name.

I hope you have a peaceful weekend, too. It is good to hear from you.

Hugs,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:18 am
by Danya (imported)
The May/June 2010 issue of Scientific American - MIND is devoted to differences between male and female brains and how these effect everything from parenting to perceptions of what is funny. There are some interesting articles with some new ideas on why men and women behave the way they do. After reading the article I discuss here, though, I have to wonder how accurate many of the other ones are.

This issue also contains an article entitled "The Third Gender" with a subtext "Transsexuals are illuminating the biology and psychology of sex - and revealing just how diverse the human species really is." A preview of the article, written by Jesse Bering, can be found here (http://www.scientificamerican.com/artic ... ird-gender).

The writer notes the diversity of transgender expression in humans. I find it disturbing that he proceeds directly from his opening observations on transvestism (which for some would be more properly referred to as cross-dressing) to:

"As researchers probe the biological, psychological and cultural underpinnings of transsexuality in its myriad forms, they continue to be astounded by the individual variation they find."

My problem with this is two-fold. First, the article title specifies transsexuals as the subject and opens with two paragraphs about 'transvestism.' This may confuse those who are not well informed on the variety of transgender expressions. Especially when (concern Two) there is no seque into the transsexuality discussion.

Then there is the title subtext "...illuminating the biology and psychology of sex" when gender identity is, as correctly stated in paragraph 3, distinct from biological sex and sexual orientation.

I have another problem with this article and this is where I have to wonder if the politics of gender identity studies is influencing who gets heard. Is it the loud and controversial researchers, or those who more quietly go about their studies and publish significant research?

There is a lot of space given to the ideas of psychiatrist Ray Blanchard and psychologist Anne Lawrence. Blanchard originated the concept of 'autogynephilia.' Lawrence, who is a MtF transsexual, made some adjustments to this model. Autogynephilia is the idea that heterosexual MtF transsexuals are aroused by the idea of being women.

Excuse me here. 😄 I most definitely am a heterosexual MtF transsexual and I was never aroused by the idea of being a women. Anyway, natal women are known to be sexual beings who enjoy that physical aspect of their being. Should MtF, heterosexual transsexuals be any different?

I have read a lot about autogynephila over the last two years. It is a controversial topic among transsexuals and many gender identity researchers. It is certainly possible that some MtF, heterosexual transsexuals fall into this paradigm. Two gender therapists now have told me they have never met a client who does. Nonetheless, all ideas should be welcomed in academia. Especially when they are backed by sound arguments and well designed studies. :)

Autogynephila was also elaborated by J. Michael Bailey in the 2003 book The Man Who Would Be Queen. There is a Wikipedia article
Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 29, 2010 3:03 pm (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
The_Man_Who_Would_Be_Queen#Controversy)on positive and negative responses to this work.

Part of the outcry resulted because it was published by the National Academy of Sciences. Critics contend that the methodology used by Blanchard, and others, to support his claims was not scientifically based at all.

Lynn Conway, the world renowned transsexual computer scientist and engineer, writes that the book is highly transphobic (
TS/LynnsReviewOfBaileysBook.html).

Lynn herself was a subject of the book and sued Bailey, who was chair of the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University her
Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 02, 2010 2:42 pm e in the Chicago area.

Dr. Eli Coleman, a p
reeminent psychologist at the University of Minnesota Program in Human Sexuality (http://www.fm.umn.edu/phs/), blasted the Bailey book at a conference in 2005 (
TS/Trans%20Health/IFGE%202005/Eli%20Coleman%20Rebukes%20Bailey's%20Book%20at%20I FGE%202005.htm). His response seemed, to some, to be a little late. The U of M program, where I started my journey, is considered one of the top in the world for studying and treating transgender persons.

Dr. Coleman, and I was not aware of this until just now, spoke out against the Bailey book in 2003 (http://www.tsroadmap.com/info/eli-coleman.html). He is quoted as stating:

"As he outlined the need to "promote sound and ethical research," Dr. Coleman made a direct reference to The Man Who Would Be Queen by J. Michael Bailey of Northwestern University. The book has been widely denounced as scientifically unsound and deeply biased.

Dr. Coleman urged members to work with the transgender community to "end antipathy and distrust of researchers." To illustrate what Dr. Coleman called "unfortunate setbacks" to ending this problem, he displayed the Bailey book cover. The book's provocative title and image of masculine legs and feet in feminine shoes are widely considered to be deliberately insulting.

Referring to Bailey's shoddy scholarship and deeply flawed research methods, Dr. Coleman emphatically declared: "We need to challenge bad science." "

When a friend here forwarded me a Ray Blanchard quote, many months ago, I wrote back something like "Do you know who this is??" I am sure he did. I later sent him a lengthy response when I learned of the methods used by a Northwestern faculty member, a historian I think, to defend the Bailey 'research.' He may have thought, "there she goes again" or "why did I ever broach this topic?" 😄

The thing is, as Eli Coleman acknowledged, great harm can be done to transsexual and transgender persons by shoddy research that receives the official approval of organizations that should know better. Like the National Academy of Sciences.

I liked a few things about the Scientific American - MIND article on transsexuals. For instance, author Bering made an important point about the complexity of MtF transsexualism. For some, gender reassignment surgery is not at all important and that is fine. For others, it can be very important to their fulfillment. Dr. Walte
Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 02, 2010 2:42 pm r Bockting, like Coleman, is a very respected psychologist at the U of M Program in
Human Sexuality. He is the current president of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (http://www.wpath.org/). I heard him speak at a conference last year and spoke with him personally in August, 2009. I think he would agree with this, although I seem to remember his stating that one should not take out a second mortgage to finance GRS. I sent him an email this evening requesting further information.

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:58 am
by tugon (imported)
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:18 am The May/June 2010 issue of Scientific American - MIND is devoted to differences between male and female brains and how these effect everything from parenting to perceptions of what is funny. There are some interesting articles with some new ideas on why men and women behave the way they do. After reading the article I discuss here, though, I have to wonder how accurate many of the other ones are.

This issue also contains an article entitled "The Third Gender" with a subtext "Transsexuals are illuminating the biology and psychology of sex - and revealing just how diverse the human species really is." A preview of the article, written by Jesse Bering, can be found here (http://www.scientificamerican.com/artic ... ird-gender).

I clicked on the link but the full article was not available. It looks interesting and I was wondering if you could copy the entire article so we all could read it?

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:09 pm
by Danya (imported)
tugon (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:58 am I clicked on the link but the full article was not available. It looks interesting and I was wondering if you could copy the entire article so we all could read it?

Hi Tugon,

I miss speaking with you! I keep meaning to give you a call, especially when I am in the city. For some reason, Chicago makes me think of you. I know you enjoy this city.

Anyway, I will check with the administrators (are they listening? 😄) to see if this is an OK thing to do.

I am not sure if it is possible to put scanned pages on this site. I may be able to use some older optical character recognition software to convert it to semi-passable text. Over the next few days, I will see what I can do.

Hugs,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:15 pm
by Danya (imported)
Hi Danya,

...
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 3:04 am You are a nice combination as a research chemist and also have experience in the field of information technology. So have you ever applied for a position at the R&D depts of the pharmaceuticals? Im sure they would not miss a valuable asset like you💡

This is my second response to your latest post, Kizahakan. I have decided to apply for several scientist type jobs I found this evening. All are in this metropolitan area. I also have the qualifications they want. One is a supervisory position and I have supervision experience from my research chemist days.

Another one of these jobs is with a company I have an IT-related application with. 😄 I do not expect the company will note this.

Yet another opportunity is in a civilian capacity with a branch of the US Armed Forces. :)

Still have active applications in my field of IT. It is all a waiting game.

All together this evening, I found 5 new IT jobs and 4 chemist/scientist jobs that look good.

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 4:58 pm
by kizahakan (imported)
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 12:15 pm This is my second response to your latest post, Kizahakan. I have decided to apply for several scientist type jobs I found this evening. All are in this metropolitan area. I also have the qualifications they want. One is a supervisory position and I have supervision experience from my research chemist days.

.

;) Well done on your quest for a new job, hopefully the more you apply the more you will get (of course for the ones that are suitable for your area of expertise)

I got your request from facebook and happily accepted and had the chance to see very nice shots, especially the ones that I guess shot by a wide angle lens, was really nice, I wonder how the scenery would like in the sunset or early morning

By the way, your name and especiallt that surname combination resembles me Portugal or can be Brasil anyway I prefer Portugal (closer to us) also thank you for your little nice comment about me, I wont be modest and I can say "yeah Im a piece of hot cake" but I really at least for the last 4 months work hard at the gym 🚶after work, not only I but everyone of us should try to take good care of ourselves in order to be relatively healthy after 70s 🙄 I can say that I ve never smoked not even a cigar ;) but I love wine (my weakest link)

Also you said, you are old enough to be my Mom, instead Id be looking you as a special and an expensive, rich fruit flavoured red Spanish or Porto (Portugal) wine ;) to be treated accordingly

At the end who can say no to a bit of bitter chocolade and a nice red wine combination 🙄

Is your email mentioned in facebook alive? Cause also Id love to send some nice shots of istanbul though you will see some from my page as well

Spring ⛵ has arrived here this weekend itd be around 20 to 23 celcius ( we dont use fahreneit )

So hope the weather there is also nice and you can enjoy your week end

Cheers,
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 3:04 am
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:10 pm
Slammr (imported) [/quote] wrote:Wed Apr 28, 2010 3:05 pm [quote="kizahakan (imported)" t
ime=1272368040]
----------------------------
------------------------------

Dorian Gray of
the deep dark cellar where eternal youthness is being held as a victim ;)

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 5:30 am
by Danya (imported)
Early next week
Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 17, 2010 7:46 am , I will have a phone interview with the h
ead of the IT department at a certain well known university in Chicago. In fact, it has Chicago in its name. This is very good news, although the location is not the best. Unless it is in their downtown building. I could get this to work.

Meanwhile, two recruiters called me today because of the resume I have posted on the web. One spoke about a permanent job within easy commuting distance. This is also associated with educational 'stuff.' The other is a contract position.

I was sent an email by a company I have not applied with. They were letting me know I am under consideration. Not sure how this one happened.

I am also in the running for four contract jobs. All but one is downtown.

This morning, I submitted six applications and just found more jobs that match what I can do.

Still waiting on two other possibilities.

I will continue to work hard on my search. As I noted in an earlier post, I am extending this to chemistry and science jobs.

Even a contract job, with few or no benefits, would be fine for now. I would continue to search for permanent work and having current work experience would be a good thing on my resume.

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 10:13 am
by Danya (imported)
;) ....
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 4:58 pm I got your request from facebook and happily accepted and had the chance to see very nice shots, especially the ones that I guess shot by a wide angle lens, was really nice, I wonder how the scenery would like in the sunset or early morning

I'd love to get sunset photos. With my job search schedule, this is difficult. That will change.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 4:58 pm By the way, your name and especiallt that surname combination resembles me Portugal or can be Brasil anyway I prefer Portugal (closer to us) also thank you for your little nice comment about me, I wont be modest and I can say "yeah Im a piece of hot cake" but I really at least for the last 4 months work hard at the gym 🚶after work, not only I but everyone of us should try to take good care of ourselves in order to be relatively healthy after 70s 🙄 I can say that I ve never smoked not even a cigar ;) but I love wine (my weakest link)

It's nice to hear that you like my name. Sometime I may share with you my real one. ;) Most people on the Archive use fictitious names and there is a very good reason I do not use my real name on Facebook. It has to do with looking for a job.

I like to joke that I have given up smoking four times. Truth is, I have smoked a total of four cigarettes in my life. I love fine wines, too.

I agree, it's a good idea to keep exercising throughout our lives. Lately, I've been getting in a lot of long walks.

;
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 4:58 pm ) Also you said, you are old enough to be my Mom, instead Id be looking you as a special and an expensive, rich fruit flavoured red Spanish or Porto (Portugal) wine ;) to be treated accordingly

At the end who can say no to a bit of bitter chocolade and a nice red wine combination 🙄

What a gentleman you are! To treat an old lady with such kind remarks.;) I really don't consider myself old at all and I like to think I have many young attitudes.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 4:58 pm Is your email mentioned in facebook alive? Cause also Id love to send some nice shots of istanbul though you will see some from my page as well

My email address on Facebook is correct, so you should be able to use it.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 4:58 pm Spring ⛵ has arrived here this weekend itd be around 20 to 23 celcius ( we dont use fahreneit )

So hope the weather there is also nice and you can enjoy your week end

In the Chicago area, it reached nearly 26 Celsius today and we have a tornado watch until later in the evening. Tomorrow should be more pleasant.

Hope you enjoy your weekend, too.

Hugs,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 10:15 am
by Danya (imported)
tugon (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:58 am I clicked on the link but the full article was not available. It looks interesting and I was wondering if you could copy the entire article so we all could read it?

Hi Tugon,

Earlier today, I spoke with one of the authorities here. I cannot post the entire article on this site. That would be making it available for free distribution when the magazine's own web site charges for it. This makes perfect sense.

What I will do is send you the entire article.

Hugs,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 5:36 am
by kizahakan (imported)
Hi Danya,

Good to hear about your applications, now I think after some point, the ball will be at your side and you will try to chose the best, i think you are getting increased number of returns.

Old lady 🙄 come on, as long as you feel yourself healty and happy at what ever age you are, no one can be old but lets say can be experienced 🙄

Yep your name is Im sure very warm, at first glance Id assume some of your ancestors have Latin blood but I think they have some German blood, das ist auch ganz gut :) and yeah using fictious names is correct though I guess we can never be sure about the safety of internet unfortunately

For walking, it is the best and easiest sport that can be performed with joy and Im %100 sure, you are walkin quite a path while trying to shot the photos

I have some nce shots of my city and the nature around and be sending the pictures to your mail most probably by monday, Im keeping my photo database at the office;)

By the way the picture you have on the facebook (the one with the half of the face) looks really great that can only be perfomed by a naughty but a very experienced sweethearted lady ( oh my gush after reading what I ve written in terms of sentence structure and grammar , i felt myself as the Master Yoda from Starwars :)also he talks like me witout structure ) anyhow since english is not my mother tongue sometime I run out of my vocabulary but anyhow it is really great to have such open minded and hearted friends from here;)

Cheers,

Hakan

[quote="kizah
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 4:58 pm akan (imported)" time=1272560640]
kizah [/quote] akan (imported) wrote:Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:10 pm
Sl [/quote] ammr (imported) wrote:Wed Apr 28, 2010 3:05 pm
----------------------

Dorian Gray of Istanbul

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 12:43 pm
by Danya (imported)
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 5:36 am Hi Danya,

Good to hear about your applications, now I think after some point, the ball will be at your side and you will try to chose the best, i think you are getting increased number of returns.

Hi Hakan,

A close friend back in Minnesota, who is a similar line of work, agrees that with the responses I am getting, a job opportunity will probably open for me soon. It may even be more than one, as you suggest. She went through a similar period of unemployment and now has a terrific permanent job.

My computer has been down for a day and I just got it partially repaired. Soon I will be able to get back to job searching.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 5:36 am Old lady 🙄 come on, as long as you feel yourself healty and happy at what ever age you are, no one can be old but lets say can be experienced 🙄

For whatever reason, I do not feel old at all. Still, I am a little surprised at how much I thrive on the energy of downtown Chciago at the age of 58.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 5:36 am Yep your name is Im sure very warm, at first glance Id assume some of your ancestors have Latin blood but I think they have some German blood, das ist auch ganz gut :) and yeah using fictious names is correct though I guess we can never be sure about the safety of internet unfortunately

Unfortunately :), none of my ancestors have Latin blood. I am of German, Austrian and Transylvanian :D descent!
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 5:36 am For walking, it is the best and easiest sport that can be performed with joy and Im %100 sure, you are walkin quite a path while trying to shot the photos

I walked for three hours early today, on my second trip to the Chicago Botanic Garden. The conditions were seldom optimal for photo shooting, although I took 123 pictures. Then I walked another hour at Woodfield Mall early this evening.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 5:36 am I have some nce shots of my city and the nature around and be sending the pictures to your mail most probably by monday, Im keeping my photo database at the office;)

I would love to visit Istanbul. Part of my interest is from studying Latin for four years, several decades ago. I enjoy ancient history and have read a lot about the city from the time of its founding as Constantinople.
kizahakan (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 5:36 am By the way the picture you have on the facebook (the one with the half of the face) looks really great that can only be perfomed by a naughty but a very experienced sweethearted lady ( oh my gush after reading what I ve written in terms of sentence structure and grammar , i felt myself as the Master Yoda from Starwars :)also he talks like me witout structure ) anyhow since english is not my mother tongue sometime I run out of my vocabulary but anyhow it is really great to have such open minded and hearted friends from here;)

That photo is the one I used to use for my Facebook profile, with the hair color I prefer.

I was feeling quite naughty today 😄 A worker at a gas station was ogling me. I have seen him once before When I went to pay for coffee and a snack, he said I did not have to pay for the coffee. Then he asked me my name. I gave him my middle name and he introduced himself, while he continued to look me over. This surprised me, since I was wearing a blouse and pants. Not the dress or skirt with top that have gotten me admiring comments and even whistles before.

This man seemed sweet! I long to be in a dating relationship. This may never happen, though. I will still be happy.

Then a man at the check-out counter at the computer store said "May I have your phone number?" I was tired by this time and for a second connected his comment to the man at the gas station. I (almost) immediately realized he was not asking me out. I never give out my phone number to merchants.

Hugs,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 3:01 pm
by transward (imported)
...
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:18 am This issue also contains an article entitled "The Third Gender" with a subtext "Transsexuals are illuminating the biology and psychology of sex - and revealing just how diverse the human species really is." ... The writer notes the diversity of transgender expression in humans. I find it disturbing that he proceeds directly from his opening observations on transvestism (which for some would be more properly referred to as cross-dressing) to:

"As researchers probe the biological, psychological and cultural underpinnings of transsexuality in its myriad forms, they continue to be astounded by the individual variation they find."

My problem with this is two-fold. First, the article title specifies transsexuals as the subject and opens with two paragraphs about 'transvestism.' This may confuse those who are not well informed on the variety of transgender expressions. Especially when (concern Two) there is no seque into the transsexuality discussion.

Then there is the title subtext "...illuminating the biology and psychology of sex" when gender identity is, as correctly stated in paragraph 3, distinct from biological sex and sexual orientation. ..

There is a lot of space given to the ideas of psychiatrist Ray Blanchard and psychologist Anne Lawrence. Blanchard originated the concept of 'autogynephilia.' Lawrence, who is a MtF transsexual, made some adjustments to this model. Autogynephilia is the idea that heterosexual MtF transsexuals are aroused by the idea of being women.

Excuse me here. 😄 I most definitely am a heterosexual MtF transsexual and I was never aroused by the idea of being a women. Anyway, natal women are known to be sexual beings who enjoy that physical aspect of their being. Should MtF, heterosexual transsexuals be any different?

Autogynephila was also elaborated by J. Michael Bailey in the 2003 book The Man Who Would Be Queen. There is a Wikipedia article
[quote="Danya (imported)" time
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:18 am =1272517380]
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
The_Man_Who_Would_Be_Queen#Controversy)on positive and negative responses to this work.

Part of the outcry resulted because it was published by the National Academy of Sciences. Critics contend that the methodology used by Blanchard, and others, to support his claims was not scientifically based at all. ... Referring to Bailey's shoddy scholarship and deeply flawed research methods, Dr. Coleman emphat
[/quote]
ically declared: "We need to challenge bad science."

I have been meaning to reply to this post, but it's been a chaotic week, and this is the first chance I've had. First a quick reason I feel entitled to comment. For the better part of the last decade I supervised and scheduled facilitators for trans support groups for the self described longest continously running support organization for trans people in the country. Most weeks we had four or five meeting, with me often ending up facilitating two or three myself. Among those who facilitated meetings for me were Anne Lawrence (twice a month) and, once or twice, Marcie Bowers (before she went to Trinidad and became the face of American SRS) . Several times I have argued autogynephilia with Anne Lawrence, who is a brilliant woman, (though with the people handling skills of a rabid pit bull.) I was a very good facilitator because I was good at staying invisible and getting shy, scared people to talk about things they had never been able to say to any one else before, and even reasonably good at getting them to shut up when the disfunctional tried to make themselves the whole center of the meeting. Over the years I have probably listened to at least a thousand trans people tell their stories, and have observed
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:18 am maybe forty or so over a period of several years.

"My problem with this is two-fold. First, the article title specifies transsexuals as the subject and opens with two paragraphs about 'transvestism.' This may confuse those who are not well informed on the variety of transgender expressions. Especially when (concern Two)
there is no seque into the transsexuality discussion."

One thing I have learned is that all the trans labels "Transsexual" "Cross Dresser" "Transvestite" etc. are useful only when you keep in mind that they are descriptors of current behavior, not intrinsic nature or any predictor of future behavior. I have seen couples come in when the husband gets caught cross dressing, and listened to "I am strictly a heterosexual cross dresser" only to meet the same person a couple of years later coming back to America from Thailand fresh from SRS and off to marry a man. I know a couple of people who have followed the trans yellow brick road all the way through the various gatekeepers all the way to SRS, FFS, breast augmentation, the whole nine yards, go off to live happily ever after as a woman, only to return, have the inserts pulled, had chest liposuction and gone back to living as a ma
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:18 am n. (I never figured out whether he was F2M or what.)

Then there is the title subtext "...illuminating the biology and psychology of sex" when gender identity is, as correctly stated in paragraph 3, dis
tinct from biological sex and sexual orientation.

I get very tired of those who insist that there is no link between gender and sex and that transsexuality has nothing to do with sex. It is not your identity as a chemist or an American we are talking about. It is about identity that is associated generally with a particular sexual and reproductive role. True, gender and sex are not the sam
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:18 am e thing, but they are not completely distinct either.

There is a lot of space given to the ideas of psychiatrist Ray Blanchard and psychologist Anne Lawrence. Blanchard originated the concept of 'autogynephilia.' Lawrence, who is a MtF transsexual, made some adjustments to this model. Autogynephilia is the idea that heterosexual MtF
transsexuals are aroused by the idea of being women.

Had Blanchard coined the term as autogye-erotic, or autogyne-arousal, no one but a few hundred sexologists would have ever read about it, but -philia is a loaded term referring to fetishes, so the entire trans community collectively had a hissy fit and made Blanchard and Bailey famous and rich. But the whole thing is a straw man that we waste our energy on. It is an ancient observation that there is a difference between male and female sexuality. Men tend to be pretty straight forward. He wants her. Period. But for women it is more complex, not that they don't want men, but that they want men to want them, (this is one reason that women raping men is so rare, just having sex is not sufficient for most women) A large part of female sexuality is tied up in having a body that will entice the appropriate partner. The whole point of lingerie is autogyne-erotic. The whole beauty industry, cosmetic surgery industry depends on it. Also the observation on which the theory is bases is quite valid. Trans people tend to cluster in distinct types, particularily late and early transitioners, but Blanchards theory is too simple. I am sure that there are far more than two types of transsexuals. Also his terminology is deliberately provocative. To label feminine trans people a
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:18 am s "homosexual" is to deliberately deny their claim to being women.

Excuse me here. 😄 I most definitely am a heterosexual MtF transsexual and I was never aroused by the idea of being a women. Anyway, natal women are known to be sexual beings who enjoy that physical aspect of their being. Should
MtF, heterosexual transsexuals be any different?

I think you need to think that through. Before you transitioned, if you had no libido or fantasies, then you have a much larger problem then simply being transsexual. Assuming that you did actually have sexual fantasies, if you weren't female in them, then I don't think you are actually transsexual. And if you were female in your fantasies, then trying to decide whether you were aroused by HAVING A FEMALE BODY making love to a man, or by MAKING LOVE TO A MAN while having a female body, is less productive than deciding how many angels can dance on the hea
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:18 am d of a pin. Another red herring to waste our energy.

Autogynephila was also elaborated by J. Michael Bailey in the 2003 book The Man Who Would Be Queen. There is a Wikipedia article on positive and negative responses to this work.

Part of the outcry resulted because it was published by the National Academy of Sciences. Critics contend that the methodology used by Blanchard, and others, to sup
port his claims was not scientifically based at all.

Of course it's bad science. It is after all sociology. There are few studies in sociology whose methodology would meet the standards of hard science, or even the much less strict standards of psychology. You would be hard pressed to come up with a dozen sociological studies in the last fifty years that would pass hard science standards.

Transward

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 4:38 pm
by Danya (imported)
transward (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 3:01 pm I have been meaning to reply to this post, but it's been a chaotic week, and this is the first chance I've had. First a quick reason I feel entitled to comment. For the better part of the last decade I supervised and scheduled facilitators for trans support groups for the self described longest continously running support organization for trans people in the country. Most weeks we had four or five meeting, with me often ending up facilitating two or three myself. Among those who facilitated meetings for me were Anne Lawrence (twice a month) and, once or twice, Marcie Bowers (before she went to Trinidad and became the face of American SRS) . Several times I have argued autogynephilia with Anne Lawrence, who is a brilliant woman, (though with the people handling skills of a rabid pit bull.) I was a very good facilitator because I was good at staying invisible and getting shy, scared people to talk about things they had never been able to say to any one else before, and even reasonably good at getting them to shut up when the disfunctional tried to make themselves the whole center of the meeting. Over the years I have probably listened to at least a thousand trans people tell their stories, and have observed
maybe forty or so over a period of several years.
transward (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 3:01 pm One thing I have learned is that all the trans labels "Transsexual" "Cross Dresser" "Transvestite" etc. are useful only when you keep in mind that they are descriptors of current behavior, not intrinsic nature or any predictor of future behavior. I have seen couples come in when the husband gets caught cross dressing, and listened to "I am strictly a heterosexual cross dresser" only to meet the same person a couple of years later coming back to America from Thailand fresh from SRS and off to marry a man. I know a couple of people who have followed the trans yellow brick road all the way through the various gatekeepers all the way to SRS, FFS, breast augmentation, the whole nine yards, go off to live happily ever after as a woman, only to return, have the inserts pulled, had chest liposuction and gone back to living as a ma
n. (I never figured out whether he was F2M or what.)
transward (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 3:01 pm I get very tired of those who insist that there is no link between gender and sex and that transsexuality has nothing to do with sex. It is not your identity as a chemist or an American we are talking about. It is about identity that is associated generally with a particular sexual and reproductive role. True, gender and sex are not the sam
e thing, but they are not completely distinct either.....

Hi Transward,

I am very glad you responded to my post and in such detail. It's nearly 2:30 AM, so I don't have time to comment at length or on all of your points. So just a few comments for now.

I am very aware that there are those who have SRS, and other transforming procedures, and later regret it. That's a point well made. And I agree that the terms we use are not (necessarily) predictors of future behavior. There is a danger of limiting ourselves or making wrong decisions if we insist on clinging to an 'identity' that no longer works. Gender identity is fluid for some, at least.

In addition, I completely agree that gender and sex are not entirely independent of each other. I would say there is a definite interplay between these that should not be ignored. Most of us consider ourselves to be sexual beings regardless of our gender identity.

Thank you for taking the time to write about some important issues and your understanding of them. I very much appreciate your experience with trans people.

I'll try to write more when I have the time. Thanks for your thoughtful comments, informed by your significant experience with trans people.

Hugs,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 5:19 pm
by Danya (imported)
transward (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 3:01 pm I think you need to think that through. Before you transitioned, if you had no libido or fantasies, then you have a much larger problem then simply being transsexual. Assuming that you did actually have sexual fantasies, if you weren't female in them, then I don't think you are actually transsexual. And if you were female in your fantasies, then trying to decide whether you were aroused by HAVING A FEMALE BODY making love to a man, or by MAKING LOVE TO A MAN while having a female body, is less productive than deciding how many angels can dance on the hea
d of a pin. Another red herring to waste our energy.

Hello again Transward,

I had to comment on this one before going to bed. I feel no need to defend who I am, my life history, whether I had sexual fantasies before transitioning or if they were of the right type, how I got to this point or that I am, indeed, a male-to-female transsexual. I have no intention of going down this path, ever, on this site. Although, as and aside :), if you followed some of my other threads before I created this one
Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 4:38 pm , you would know that I have addressed th
ese very things.

I am very glad you responded to my post, and I always enjoy hearing differing points of view and discussing these. I ask, though, that you leave your musings about my identity out of your comments. It's great to discuss and debate ideas. I thrive on that.

Best wishes,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 5:44 pm
by Danya (imported)
...
transward (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 3:01 pm Of course it's bad science. It is after all sociology. There are few studies in sociology whose methodology would meet the standards of hard science, or even the much less strict standards of psychology. You would be hard pressed to come up with a dozen sociological studies in the last fifty years that would pass hard science standards.

I may wind up responding to all of your points yet tonight and it is now after 3:30 AM. I really do need sleep to look for a job, you know. :)

I discussed this very issue with a friend and respected social scienctist, sometime yesterday. I thought that, perhaps, I was being too hard on these social scientists because of my 'hard' science background.

While social scientists typically cannot run the types of controlled experiments freely available to physical scientists, sound methods should still be used to design the studies and interpret the results.

If some or most social science studies are bad science, as you state, the reported results are unsubstantiated observations or opinions. They may have value, but they are not science and should not be labeled as such. This misleads the public. It is also a disservice to those social science studies that are well planned, executed and interpreted according to scientific principles.

The Scientific American - MIND piece on transsexuals would not have bothered me so much if the author had presented other viewpoints in addition to those of Blanchard and Lawrence.

I think we need to agree to disagree on this.

Got to get to bed now.

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 11:42 pm
by Danya (imported)
transward (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 3:01 pm I think you need to think that through. Before you transitioned, if you had no libido or fantasies, then you have a much larger problem then simply being transsexual. Assuming that you did actually have sexual fantasies, if you weren't female in them, then I don't think you are actually transsexual. And if you were female in your fantasies, then trying to decide whether you were aroused by HAVING A FEMALE BODY making love to a man, or by MAKING LOVE TO A MAN while having a female body, is less productive tha
Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 5:19 pm n deciding how many angels can dance on the hea
d of a pin. Another red herring to waste our energy.

Hi Transward,

I got 90 minutes of sleep and now I am raring to go again. :) The reason I was up so late was the computer problems that were preventing me from doing what I need. I have solved those. Later in the day, I will take a nap.

When I first read your post, and responded, I had been awake roughly 19 hours. So I was not at my best. Still, I do not think I would change what I wrote in response then.

I am being very sincere when I say I would like to know more about you, although not necessarily anything personal. Your response is the first in awhile that engaged me in a thoughtful yet challenging way on a critical topic of importance to many on the Archive. Whether they self-identify as a transsexual, a cross dresser, a transgenderist, a eunuch or a variety of other expressions of gender identity.

This is the last time I will write about my most definitely being transsexual. That's a promise. :) All I will add now is the contents of an email from my gender therapist for most of the time I lived in Minnesota. I moved from there two months ago. I don't usually do this, but she knows about this site. Besides, I am not identifying her.

I had written to her to update her on my job situation and life. Her note gives what I hope is a reasonably objective look at who I am, in a small way.. And I wrote this therapist five days ago, not asking for any support or confirmation of who I am. I did let her know I had not yet found a gender therapist as good as she is. Here is her response. I have not corrected spelling errors. I make enough of my own :) :

"Danya!!! So glad to hear you are well. Thank you for the picture, your awesome. I hope you find a therapist soon that you like. Not that I think you NEED a therapist but you have had a lot of changes and it's good to have someone to assist with your continued "changes". Chicago sounds very exciting! I think you could find excitment in any place you lived. You truely work to live life to the fullest. You are a strong woman and I have missed our talks...Yes, therapsit do miss some of their clients :). Please take care of yourself and remember your story is just being...so much more to write. I would love to hear how your doing from time to time if you wouldn't mind. I hope you have a great week!"

My only change to what she wrote was to replace my real name with my screen name. I've had several therapists over the years who remain friends, to a greater or lesser extent. Including one from the mid-1990s.

This therapist, when I started seeing her, tried her darndest to convince me to join a transgender support group. She finally believed my protests that I did not need one. I still do not. OF course, I need support from time to time and friends provide that. That support is for all kinds of things, not limited to transgender issues.

I started my journey with a gender therapist at the well-known program
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:18 am [quote="Danya (imported)" time
=1262403720]
at the University of Minnesota.
[/quote]
The only reason I left there was because their services were considered 'out of network' by my health insurance carrier. I could no longer afford it.

When I am better rested, I will try to find time to comment on some of your other points. Or someone else here may.

Anyway, I wish you well.

Hugs,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 4:08 am
by transward (imported)
Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 5:19 pm Hello again Transward,

I had to comment on this one before going to bed. I feel no need to defend who I am, my life history, whether I had sexual fantasies before transitioning or if they were of the right type, how I got to this point or that I am, indeed, a male-to-female transsexual. I have no intention of going down this path, ever, on this site. Although, as and aside :), if you followed some of my other threads before I created this one,
you would know that I have addressed th
Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 5:19 pm ese very things.
Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 02, 2010 4:38 pm I am very glad you responded to my post,
and I always enjoy hearing differing points of view and discussing these. I ask, though, that you leave your musings about my identity out of your comments. It's great to discuss and
debate ideas. I thrive on that.

Best wishes,

Danya

I think, in your fatigue you may have misread the point I was making; I was in no way questioning your life history, your status as a transsexual and I would have to know you much better to want to explore your sexual fantasies. What I was pointing out is that the whole question is bogus. My statement was structured as a logical proof. (Disregarding the posssibility of fantasizing that you are intersex) there are only three possibilities. 1) You have no libido or sexual fantasies. 2) In your fantasies you have a male body, or 3) In your fantasies you have a female body. In the first case you are more asexual than transsexual, though you might come under the M2 eunuch label. In case two, you have a male body and fantasize sex having a male body, you are, suprise, male. Only in 3) having a male body and fantasizing having sex with a female body are you clearly transsexual. Since by definition, transsexuals have sexual fantasies in which they are female, your statement, that you are a M2F female, but never had sexual fantasies where you have a female body, is the structural equivalent of the classic "Cretan Paradox," "All Cretans are liars.""I am a cretan." which can be true only when it is false.

Regards.

Transward

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 4:23 am
by Danya (imported)
transward (imported) wrote: Mon May 03, 2010 4:08 am I think, in your fatigue you may have misread the point I was making; I was in no way questioning your life history, your status as a transsexual and I would have to know you much better to want to explore your sexual fantasies. What I was pointing out is that the whole question is bogus. My statement was structured as a logical proof. (Disregarding the posssibility of fantasizing that you are intersex) there are only three possibilities. 1) You have no libido or sexual fantasies. 2) In your fantasies you have a male body, or 3) In your fantasies you have a female body. In the first case you are more asexual than transsexual, though you might come under the M2 eunuch label. In case two, you have a male body and fantasize sex having a male body, you are, suprise, male. Only in 3) having a male body and fantasizing having sex with a female body are you clearly transsexual. Since by definition, transsexuals have sexual fantasies in which they are female, your statement, that you are a M2F female, but never had sexual fantasies where you have a female body, is the structural equivalent of the classic "Cretan Paradox," "All Cretans are liars.""I am a cretan." which can be true only when it is false.

Regards.

Transward

Hello Transward,

I have a better understanding now of what you meant, but I do not entirely agree. I'm still getting by on little sleep so I will save any additional comments for another time.

Best wishes,

Danya

Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 12:30 pm
by Danya (imported)
I have a feeling I will soon have a job. But I will not define what 'soon' means to me. :) Things are going well with my job hunt. Perhaps I am being overly optimistic.

Tomorrow afternoon, I have a phone interview that is bypassing a recruiter. I will speak directly with the hiring manager. She let me know the interview will last 45 minutes, about twice the average length for phone interviews. I need to prepare thoroughly for this.

This afternoon, I got a call about a permanent job I applied for. The recruiter wanted to know what I am looking for. Answering "I am looking for a job" is not what this person will want to hear. Before I return the call, I need to review the job description.

This morning, I checked on the status of my application for two other permanent jobs I applied for last week. I am still in the running for both.

I spoke with two recruiters this morning and both think I am a good match for two contract jobs, so they are submitting my application.

Anyway, I was up at 6 AM this morning and worked until 1 PM. I needed a break, so I went downtown. There are places in Chicagoland, other than downtown, that I like to visit by the way. :) I spent 3 1/2 hours walking and went to the observation deck of the John Hancock Center, on the 94th floor. The greeter noted that the building is known as "Big John" by the locals. A local friend, Erica Ann, clued me in on another name for this building several months ago. All I will say is, it is a more suggestive name. 😄

On the way to the city, I thought of stopping to flirt with Sonny. He is the man who first flirted with me at the gas station convenience store. If I had not been two lanes of traffic too far to the left as I passed the station, I would have paid him a quick visit.

I worked more when I returned home. Tomorrow morning, I will get up at 6:30 to look for more jobs and prepare for tomorrow's phone interview.

Wednesday evening, I will attend a networking event at a downtown university. To avoid the traffic and save on gas, I will take the Metra train or drive to the nearest 'El' station. Both trains stop near the university.

As I drove home this evening, dusk had arrived. The sky was nearly cloudless and I had a perfect view of Venus, Mars and Saturn. When I was a child, there was far less light pollution. Back then, even though I lived in an east coast suburb, on moonless nights I could easily see the Milky Way.

The days of seeing this small part of our galactic home with the naked eye are long gone. Except in remote regions far removed from the lights of civilization. About five years ago, I hiked in Arches National Park in Utah. As darkness approached, I was struggling to find my way back down the trail from Delicate Arch. By the time I neared the parking lot, the stars seemed to have set the sky ablaze. The Milky Way shone brilliantly in the cloudless sky. The light from the smallest sliver of the waxing moon did not interfere, but added to the beauty of the scene. The visible night area of the moon shone gently with earthshine. It took my breath away. I sat watching the sky for half an hour before I reluctantly returned to my car. There is so much beauty in the world and, at times, in the sky that opens up after darkness arrives.