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Danya (imported) wrote: Tue May 04, 2010 12:30 pm As I drove home this evening, dusk had arrived. The sky was nearly cloudless and I had a perfect view of Venus, Mars and Saturn. There is so much beauty in the world and, at times, in the sky that opens up after darkness arrives.

At this point, you are blessed



cheers,

hakan upps Dorian Gray

kizahakan (imported) wrote: Tue May 04, 2010 5:46 pm At this point, you are blessed



cheers,

hakan upps Dorian Gray

Hi Hakan,

How right you are. I consider myself very fortunate in that I am blessed in many ways. One of those is the many new friendships I have found since I transitioned genders two years ago. I realized a few days ago that, with a few important exceptions, these new relationships are deeper and more rewarding than just about any friendship from my earlier pre-Danya days. And some of these friendships started right here on the Archive.

Hugs,

Danya

I ended the afternoon having completed four phone interviews instead of the one I expected. For one of the opportunities, I will hear by early next week if I will be invited for a personal interview. For another, I am meeting the recruiter for coffee tomorrow morning at 8 AM. I will manage this even though I am not a morning person. The remaining two phone interviews went very well and I should hear more about these opportunities soon.

One of the interviewers sent me an assignment I need to complete this evening. I promised that I would mail in my work by first thing in the morning. This will not be very difficult.

Then there are still other opportunities that I am waiting for word on, like the contract to hire position in Wisconsin. I learned yesterday that not only the recruiter thinks I am a great fit for this position. The hiring company also is extremely interested in me. I wish their HR department would get it together and arrange an interview.

I would not have done so well in today's phone interviews if I had not taken time yesterday for fun in the city. Even through unemployment, life goes on and I need to celebrate who I am and enjoy life.

On yesterday's trip downtown, I shot 157 photos. I take so many because some always turn out to be poor! I figure that, by random chance alone, some of the pictures will turn out to be decent. Actually, I put some effort into composing shots, getting the lighting right and so on. I still am never quite sure what I have until I download the photos to my computer.

Until I have a job offer, I will keep my contigency plan (i.e., moving if necessary) in mind. I don't know what Sonny will do if I leave the area.

Exactly two weeks from today will mark the two-year anniversary of me, Danya. Or at least the first day I went to work as my true self. The Friday before that is the day I described as something like "gently letting go of my former male self." I want to do something special to celebrate, just as I did last year. I had more money then and threw a party. Friends from work and church came, as did one or two folks from the Archive if I remember correctly. So much has changed in the year since that it seems that party was part of another life. In some ways, it was.

This morning, I had a very good interview with a technical recruiter. We met at a coffee shop. I would mention that he was very handsome, except that would be off topic. He submitted my application to a very large company in this area. This is a contract position and those are always becoming available at this place. If I don't get the first opening, I could very well get another. All of this could take several months.

Although my initial plan was to take the train to the city this afternoon, for this evening's 'networking' event, I drove. Along the way, I stopped at a certain gas station to flirt with 'Sonny.'

When I arrived downtown, I headed right for the Sears (now Willis) Tower, parking nearby. I got some very nice photos from the SkyDeck on the 103rd floor. I hadn't been there in years. They have since added four glass-like extensions to the side of the observation floor. I stood in one of these looking straight down through the transparent floor. A woman approached and told me she was just a little afraid to step onto such a seemingly insubstantial floor. I encouraged her and told her we should jump up and down on the 'glass' floor. We did, both of us laughing as someone took our picture.

I need to get out of the habit of driving downtown. The reason I drive, I think, is because it gives me a sense of freedom from what I view as a not very desirable living situation. I do not need a lot of space. That's not the problem. I have described my roommate elsewhere so I won't go into this again. I also get a lot of thinking done when I drive. I used to think a friend, from many years ago, was rationalizing when he told me he was really working when he drove and did other things away from the office. Like me, he was thinking of possible new approaches to work-related problems. While driving, I come up with new things to try in my job search.

Still, it is expensive to drive downtown. Not only is it a 100-mile round trip, but city parking rates are sky high. After I paid for parking near the Willis Tower, I tried parking close to the meeting location. As I pulled in the garage, I saw that the place charged $6 for the first 20 minutes! It was $20 dollars for the first hour, $25 for an hour and 20 minutes and so on. This was way too steep for me. I paid the $6 fee at this "pay on foot" facility and exited immediately.

I wound up parking some distance away, at an underground garage that I knew would charge me no more than $14. What a bargain!

As I walked on Monroe by Millenium Park, I passed a flower bed at eye level. There were two small Aquilegia (columbine) plants among other flowering plants. They were covered with gorgeous soft lavender and white blossoms. Made me wish I hadn't left my camera in the car.

The networking meeting had a professional society talk, which I expected. That was very good and it gave me some ideas for my job search. I thought the meeting would be similar to ones this society held in the Twin Cities, with time for networking. I was disappointed when the talk ended and everyone quickly exited. I had hoped to make some good business connections and I was ready with lots of business cards to hand out.

You might think I would be less excited about downtown Chicago the more I go there. The opposite is true. I did not want to leave when the meeting ended around 7:30 PM. The city is much more interesting, and fun, for me than the suburbs. I enjoy the crowds of people from all walks of life and of all ages. The sound of traffic and the 'el' (or 'L') lets me know I am in a 'happening' place. The architecture is stunning. I had been looking for the Alexander Calder Flamingo sculpture on other trips and only stumbled across it this evening.

I'm feeling just a little bit down. After four phone interviews yesterday, I haven't had much in the way of job search results today. With the exception of this morning's in person interview with the recruiter. I hope more happens tomorrow.

I will apply for about another 15 jobs I found on the web. In addition, I will make appointments with technical recruiters that cover the downtown regions and the western suburbs.

Maybe this is not the best time to ask, but here goes: You present as female, but how does your voice sound on the phone ? Is it convincingly female?

Milkman (imported) wrote: Thu May 06, 2010 10:24 pm Maybe this is not the best time to ask, but here goes: You present as female, but how does your voice sound on the phone ? Is it convincingly female?

Hi Milkman,

I would say at least 9 times out of 10 I am addressed as "ma'am" on the phone without question or pause. This is true in cases where the caller does not know my name and when I use my legal first name. That is a name many people do not know.

Nonetheless, I still consider my voice a work in progress but I do not worry about it. One of the Archive members and his wife attended a party at my Minnesota home awhile back. He later told me how his wife was surpised at how feminine my voice sounded. He himself stated that, although my voice is relatively low pitched for a woman, I sounded something like Lauren Bacall. I considered that a wonderful compliment.

I am certain that people who knew me before I transitioned do not always notice a huge difference.

Hugs,

Danya

First things first! I had to run some errands today so I stopped by the gas station where Sonny works. We chatted a bit, then he started to help another customer. As I turned to leave, he asked if I had to leave right away. I told him I had things to get done but that I would see him again. I may make a quick trip out early this evening to say 'hi.'

I have an interview next Friday at a local company for a contract position. This is great news. As I have noted before, I can continue to look for a permanent position as I work a contract job.

It is possible I will have an interview for a permanent position next week, too. I'll hear about that tomorrow or Monday, most likely.

There are other things still in the works.

A dear friend here on EA spoke with me this morning. All I will say is she mentioned her concern over my pushing too hard and not getting enough sleep. I was really touched by our conversation. Her warning, plus that of Uncle Flo a few weeks back, made me realize I do need to slow down. This doesn't mean I will not work hard. But I do not need to overdo just about everything the way I have been. It is not healthy. So here it is at roughly 5 PM and I am home and taking things easy.

I will meet Sonny later this evening for dinner, but I will not let him treat even though he wants to. Paying my own way will help set boundaries. I also do not want to mislead him. He doesn't know about my trans status.

I have already emphasized that it might be good to have a friend to do fun things with, like visit the city.

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 07, 2010 6:58 am Hi Milkman,

I would say at least 9 times out of 10 I am addressed as "ma'am" on the phone without question or pause. This is true in cases where the caller does not know my name and when I use my legal first name. That is a name many people do not know.

Nonetheless, I still consider my voice a work in progress but I do not worry about it. One of the Archive members and his wife attended a party at my Minnesota home awhile back. He later told me how his wife was surpised at how feminine my voice sounded. He himself stated that, although my voice is relatively low pitched for a woman, I sounded something like Lauren Bacall. I considered that a wonderful compliment.

I am certain that people who knew me before I transitioned do not always notice a huge difference.

Hugs,

Danya

I've never really given a second thought that your voice sounds feminine - I like the Lauren Bacall reference, it fits. I will call one of these days when I search through the rubble on my desk and re-locate your number! Best wishes...

kristoff wrote: Fri May 07, 2010 11:50 am I've never really given a second thought that your voice sounds feminine - I like the Lauren Bacall reference, it fits. I will call one of these days when I search through the rubble on my desk and re-locate your number! Best wishes...

Hi Kristoff!

Great

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed May 21, 2008 2:56 pm to hear from you. I appreciate your

comment about my voice. The Lauren Bacall reference is from our pal MrT.

Hope you are recovering well from your surgery and that it provides the pain relief you need.

Hugs,

Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 07, 2010 9:26 am I will meet Sonny later this evening for dinner, but I will not let him treat even though he wants to. Paying my own way will help set boundaries. I also do not want to mislead him. He doesn't know about my trans status.

I have already emphasized that it might be good to have a friend to do fun things with, like visit the city.

My roommate was frustrated that I would have a 'date' with a man who works at a gas station. She thought he would not be good enough for me. Somehow, she has this idea that I am sophisticated and intelligent. Even worse , she assumes that someone employed at a gas station cannot be sophisticated and intelligent.

Turns out 'Sonny' was quite charming and a gentleman. He is from India, a Hindu and holds a masters degree in political science. Over a very late dinner, we had a very interesting conversation on all kinds of topics from astrophysics to global warming and even Indian politics. He wanted to sit and talk much longer, but I knew I needed to get home. I must get a good night's sleep.

I may need a quick consult with our Jesus over this Sonny 'situation.'

There are a number of jobs I need to apply for on Friday and all are permanent positions. It would be terrific if I were offered the contract job and could say "Sorry, but I start of permanent job at XYZ company in a week." Not a likely scenario, but it could happen.

My one chance for a good conversation this evening was ruined. When the phone rang, I was out telling 'Sonny' about who I am.

When I arrived at the gas station, I handed him a letter that briefly explained my life situation. Then we talked about it. He said he was still interested, stating that there are different ways to share sexual intimacy. He seemed sincere.

Nonetheless, I told him that this was not going to work. I was very concerned that 'Sonny' kept coming back to the subject of sex. He had started this at the end of dinner last night. Tonight, he wanted to go to a motel.

Sorry 'Sonny.' Ain't gonna happen.

I have nothing against sex, but I want some romance first. In this way, I am probably very old fashioned. Besides, I am not sure I want to have sex before GRS.

During our conversation, we were interrupted by frequent customers coming in to buy lottery tickets, cigarettes and other items. One younger man turned to me and said I should go home and watch the Blackhawks game. I quite honestly replied 'I do not know who the Blackhawks are.' He seemed a little upset. I explained that I had recently moved here. He explained that the Blackhawks are the Chicago hockey team.

As I was driving home, I suddenly got the idea that this man had been flirting with me. Or at least making an effort. Maybe I am wrong. :-\

Before I transitioned, I could not have flirted if my life depended on it. Not in a natural, unforced way. I had read lots of articles on flirting but none of those helped. Since transitioning, flirting comes naturally and I do not need to think about it. It just happens.

I still have trouble recognizing when someone else is flirting with me. On a number of occasions, my close Minnesota friend and a few others have told me things like 'he was flirting with you.' I'm always surprised!

Anyway, this afternoon a recruiter called me about a contract to hire position he thought was a good match. I am applying for this.

Another recruiter sent me an email about a great job in Moorhead, Minnesota. I am not at the point where I would consider a move to Moorhead. I have been there, and to neighboring Fargo, North Dakota.

Parts of the area around Fargo-Moorhead are beautiful, in a very open prairie way. I remember taking a drive west of Fargo one evening, while I was in the city for a technical training class. The immediate area seemed flatter than much of this region, if that is possible. In places, there are no buildings or trees and I felt that I could see to the edge of the earth. There were beautiful wild flowers.

I do not think I would thrive in Moorhead. There are too few people, it is far removed from a major city and the winters are brutally cold.

...

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat May 08, 2010 12:05 pm Another recruiter sent me an email about a great job in Moorhead, Minnesota. I am not at the point where I would consider a move to Moorhead. I have been there, and to neighboring Fargo, North Dakota.

Parts of the area around Fargo-Moorhead are beautiful, in a very open prairie way. I remember taking a drive west of Fargo one evening, while I was in the city for a technical training class. The immediate area seemed flatter than much of this region, if that is possible. In places, there are no buildings or trees and I felt that I could see to the edge of the earth. There were beautiful wild flowers.

I do not think I would thrive in Moorhead. There are too few people, it is far removed from a major city and the winters are brutally cold.

Your earlier posts show you don't need it but Minnesota State University Moorhead has Richard K. Adler, one of the nation's foremost expert on speech therapy for the transsexual voice. He and two others have recently published a text for speech pathologists on the subject (http://www.amazon.com/Communication-The ... 749&sr=8-3) "Voice And Communication Therapy for the Transgender/transsexual Client: A Comprehensive Clinical Guide (Paperback)" Should, by some freak of chance, you end up there, look him up. He is very good people.

Transward

transward (imported) wrote: Sat May 08, 2010 2:09 pm Your earlier posts show you don't need it but Minnesota State University Moorhead has Richard K. Adler, one of the nation's foremost expert on speech therapy for the transsexual voice. He and two others have recently published a text for speech pathologists on the subject (http://www.amazon.com/Communication-The ... 749&sr=8-3) "Voice And Communication Therapy for the Transgender/transsexual Client: A Comprehensive Clinical Guide (Paperback)" Should, by some freak of chance, you end up there, look him up. He is very good people.

Transward

Hi Transward,

Thanks for the information. Your post has got me thinking that I should investigate Moorhead a little this weekend. Although I have been in that area several times, I never checked out the environment for trans folk there. Do you know anything about it? Perhaps I will apply for this permanent job. I want to be working so I can get on with my life.

Thanks!

Danya

Hi Transward,

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat May 08, 2010 11:42 pm Perhaps I will apply for this permanent job. I want to be working so I can get on with my life.

Thanks!

Danya

In the hour or so since I responded to Transward, I decided to start investigating permanent jobs in other parts of the country. I will not wait until early July to see what happens locally, my original contingency plan. I am

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Dec 07, 2008 1:35 pm hopeful that I will be able to

stay in the Chicago area, so I am not giving up on my job search here. If I do not have a job of some type (contract, contract to hire, or permanent) by mid-July, I will also move for good contract work.

Being unemployed is not good! Although I have adapted to my circumstances, I need to do everything I can to get my life back on track.

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat May 08, 2010 11:42 pm Hi Transward,

Thanks for the information. Your post has got me thinking that I should investigate Moorhead a little this weekend. Although I have been in that area several times, I never checked out the environment for trans folk there. Do you know anything about it? Perhaps I will apply for this permanent job. I want to be working so I can get on with my life.

Thanks!

Danya

Richard runs a speech clinic there for trans folk, so I know there is some trans presence. Small university towns are often much more diverse that other towns the same size. From Dr. Adler's blurb on his book. "About the Author

Richard K. Adler, Ph.D., CCC-SLP, F-ASHA Dr. Richard K. Adler, CCC-SLP, has been a speech-language pathologist for 36 years. He has worked in a variety of employment settings including public schools, university clinics, hospitals, private practice, and private clinics. He is currently Professor of Speech Language and Hearing Sciences at Minnesota State University, Moorhead (MSUM), where he also directs the Voice Disorders Clinic and supervises undergraduate and graduate students in the MSUM Clinic. In the past three years, he started a Transsexual/Transgender Voice and Communication Program within the MSUM Speech and Hearing Clinic. He has presented many workshops and seminars at local, state, and national speech and hearing conventions in the areas of transsexual voice and communication, traumatic brain injury, multicultural issues, listening skills, interpersonal communication, and gender issues in the voice clinic. "

Transward

...

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 09, 2010 12:52 am Being unemployed is not good! Although I have adapted to my circumstances, I need to do everything I can to get my life back on track.

As a trans person and someone prone to depression (unfortunately a too common combination. Several trans women I know claim antidepressants are more to blame for lack of libido than T-blockers and estrogen,) I can testify that it is not good to have too much time to brood. Periods of unemployment tend to cause spiraling depression and self doubts, which in turn makes it much harder to get out and get a job. (Though I must say you are showing much more initiative in your job search than many) Good luck.

Transward

transward (imported) wrote: Sun May 09, 2010 3:29 am As a trans person and someone prone to depression (unfortunately a too common combination. Several trans women I know claim antidepressants are more to blame for lack of libido than T-blockers and estrogen,) I can testify that it is not good to have too much time to brood. Periods of unemployment tend to cause spiraling depression and self doubts, which in turn makes it much harder to get out and get a job. (Though I must say you are showing much more initiative in your job search than many) Good luck.

Transward

Fortunately, I take a very effective antidepressant. I first started this medication in early 2007. It is the first that has totally relieved my major depression, at least for extended periods. In addition, it does not typically interfere with libido. When I started gender therapy

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 30, 2010 11:18 am at the University of Minnesota,

in late 2007, my therapist concluded her interpreation of my MMPI-2 results with a comment that my life-long depression appeared to be in complete remission.

Since losing my job, there have been times when depression has returned. Those have been, for the most part, short-lived episodes.

During my first few months of unemployment, I had lots of self doubts. Even then, I took a series of six classes in my area of technology and did well.

These days, I am upbeat about my prospects. I did very well at the interview in downtown Chicago a few weeks ago. That was important, because it showed me that I still have the confidence I need. I also firmly believe I will get to where I want to be, both in my job search and my life. I will do what I need to for this to happen. Certainly the sooner I have a job the better.

Thanks for writing.

I am experiencing the poof regrowth of facial hair that my electrologist said might happen about now. I wrote her about it this morning, hoping she could give me more time than the 2 1/2 hours we have scheduled for tomorrow. She cannot. I'll speak with her tomorrow about getting significantly more time next weekend, possibly by getting her partner in crime electrologist involved again.

The regrowth is mostly much finer hair than what I started with, so things are definitely going in the right direction.

Earlier this evening, I spoke with my close woman friend in Minnesota. I wanted her take on the job in Moorhead, MN. Her initial reaction was Moorhead would not be a good place for me. As we continued talking, however, she could see some advantages. The end result is I will apply for this job and if they offer an interview, I will go and see for myself what the area offers. I agree with Transward's opinion that smaller university towns can be good places.

I also did some quick research on economic conditions with predicted job growth around the country and came up with a preliminary list of desirable places, should a good opportunity arise. I think most if not all of these have transgender protections of some type in place. At a state-wide or city level or both. That is important to me.

Here is my preliminary list:

Philadelphia, PA - I have spent lots of time in Philadelphia, although not at all recently

Pittsburgh, PA - I am very familiar with Pittsburgh and like it. I cannot remember how many times I have been there, from when I was a young child through my teens.

New York, NY area - I love NY! The museums, music scene, the mobs of people, the ethnic variety, the great food of all types, the tremendous variety of things to do.

Boston, MA - very nice, although difficult to navigate the convoluted streets. Great place for walking, though, with lots of great history sites. Beautiful Cape Cod is not far.

Washington, DC metro area - another attractive area and I enjoy the museums and history.

Austin, TX - I have visited Austin a number of times, all during my 6 year period working in Houston

Denver, CO - I like Denver and I love the Rocky Mountains. I have driven through roughly the eastern two thirds of the Colorado mountain region.

San Francisco, CA - One of my favorite cities, despite the chilly and foggy conditions. Chicago is sometimes called the most American of large cities, with its midwestern values. San Francisco and New Orleans are often promoted as being unlike typical American cities. I have no desire to move to New Orleans, although i have been there many times and enjoyed it.

Portland, OR - Another city I have visited and like, a lot. While it is not very large, it is large enough. The climate is pleasant and I love the natural beauty with ocean and mountains not far off. I have wonderful memories of driving through the Cascade Mountains.

Seattle, WA - the only city on my preliminary list that I have not visited

All of these are very urban regions, although they vary widely in size.

I am starting to plan how I will have gender reassignment surgery within the next 12 - 18 months. I know I have to make arrangements for this many months in advance.

I think Mrs T might have made the reference about your voice? But I may have said that as well or at least agreed. I used to think Paula Prentis was whose picture you saw if you looked up "sexy" in the dictionary and she has a deeper (but very female) voice as well. Of course I'm starting to show my age when I think of her or Doris Day as being sex symbols. Humm.. a more modern reference would be the lady ahh... can't think of her name but she did Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV) Michelle Geller?

Re: the one date then bring on the hotel idea? Seems like a good idea to not get involved and I think its pretty understandable you don't need the complications of being intimate before GRS.

I am so hoping you can find work soon and HIRE ME! I'm still doing the part time stuff and its just killing me.

mrt (imported) wrote: Sun May 09, 2010 12:50 pm I think Mrs T might have made the reference about your voice?

Yes, MrsT at least commented on the quality of my voice and that it sounded fine.

mrt (imported) wrote: Sun May 09, 2010 12:50 pm But I may have said that as well or at least agreed.

You made the direct reference relating the quality of my voice to the movie star's voice. I think you were being overly generous, but very kind.

mrt (imported) wrote: Sun May 09, 2010 12:50 pm Re: the one date then bring on the hotel idea? Seems like a good idea to not get involved and I think its pretty understandable you don't need the complications of being intimate before GRS.

It was nice to have one date. This man would not let me pay for dinner, although I insisted several times. So I look at this as my first ever date as me. I will not see him again.

mrt (imported) wrote: Sun May 09, 2010 12:50 pm I am so hoping you can find work soon and HIRE ME! I'm still doing the part time stuff and its just killing me.

The signs are reasonably good that I will find something soon, but the job may only be the start of a series of jobs if it is contract. I need to be open to moving, too, as a longer term solution. At least a contract job would get me off unemployment and working. It would also look good on my resume.

If only I worked in an area where I could help you out, I would try. This economy is so difficult for far too many people. I hope your situation improves soon, MrT.

Hugs,

Danya

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun May 09, 2010 11:49 am I am experiencing the poof regrowth of facial hair that my electrologist said might happen about now. I wrote her about it this morning, hoping she could give me more time than the 2 1/2 hours we have scheduled for tomorrow. She cannot. I'll speak with her tomorrow about getting significantly more time next weekend, possibly by getting her partner in crime electrologist involved again.

The regrowth is mostly much finer hair than what I started with, so things are definitely going in the right direction.

Earlier this evening, I spoke with my close woman friend in Minnesota. I wanted her take on the job in Moorhead, MN. Her initial reaction was Moorhead would not be a good place for me. As we continued talking, however, she could see some advantages. The end result is I will apply for this job and if they offer an interview, I will go and see for myself what the area offers. I agree with Transward's opinion that smaller university towns can be good places.

I also did some quick research on economic conditions with predicted job growth around the country and came up with a preliminary list of desirable places, should a good opportunity arise. I think most if not all of these have transgender protections of some type in place. At a state-wide or city level or both. That is important to me.

Here is my preliminary list:

Philadelphia, PA - I have spent lots of time in Philadelphia, although not at all recently

Pittsburgh, PA - I am very familiar with Pittsburgh and like it. I cannot remember how many times I have been there, from when I was a young child through my teens.

New York, NY area - I love NY! The museums, music scene, the mobs of people, the ethnic variety, the great food of all types, the tremendous variety of things to do.

Boston, MA - very nice, although difficult to navigate the convoluted streets. Great place for walking, though, with lots of great history sites. Beautiful Cape Cod is not far.

Washington, DC metro area - another attractive area and I enjoy the museums and history.

Austin, TX - I have visited Austin a number of times, all during my 6 year period working in Houston

Denver, CO - I like Denver and I love the Rocky Mountains. I have driven through roughly the eastern two thirds of the Colorado mountain region.

San Francisco, CA - One of my favorite cities, despite the chilly and foggy conditions. Chicago is sometimes called the most American of large cities, with its midwestern values. San Francisco and New Orleans are often promoted as being unlike typical American cities. I have no desire to move to New Orleans, although i have been there many times and enjoyed it.

Portland, OR - Another city I have visited and like, a lot. While it is not very large, it is large enough. The climate is pleasant and I love the natural beauty with ocean and mountains not far off. I have wonderful memories of driving through the Cascade Mountains.

Seattle, WA - the only city on my preliminary list that I have not visited

All of these are very urban regions, although they vary widely in size.

I am starting to plan how I will have gender reassignment surgery within the next 12 - 18 months. I know I have to make arrangements for this many months in advance.

I live in Philadelphia and totally love this place! I work at the University of Pennsylvania. I lobbied the University Council here back in March to include trans-related surgeries, etc, to be included in our insurance policy. It was well received and students got theirs approved a couple of weeks later. It seems it isn't a question of 'if' it will happen for staff but 'when'. I am guessing in a years time I will be getting my GRS done with insurance.

Just a thought!

Dana Lane (imported) wrote: Mon May 10, 2010 9:31 am I live in Philadelphia and totally love this place! I work at the University of Pennsylvania. I lobbied the University Council here back in March to include trans-related surgeries, etc, to be included in our insurance policy. It was well received and students got theirs approved a couple of weeks later. It seems it isn't a question of 'if' it will happen for staff but 'when'. I am guessing in a years time I will be getting my GRS done with insurance.

Just a thought!

Hi Dana Lane,

The reason I am, or used to be, very familiar with Philadelphia is because it is my hometown. I lived their until I was nearly 9, when we moved to surburban New Jersey. The last time I visited was in the late 1980s. I really like Philadelphia, too.

I am glad for you! Getting insurance for GRS is a huge help. Congratulations on getting results with your lobbying work.

Best wishes,

Danya

I'm having serious doubts about even considering the job in Moorhead, Minnesota. I do not know that I can be happy in such a small, isolated place.

I had to get out today to think about this and other things in my life. Mainly, how do I get from here to there. To where I want to be. What are the best options for all parts of my life.

At first, I thought I would go to the Chicago Botanic Garden but it was late and the skies were partially covered in thick clouds. I did not want to pay admission and have poor lighting for photos.

Instead, I decided to drive south of the city. Years ago, I drove through the city arriving from the south. I remembered how dramatic the approach from the south looked. That had been in the day time. I wanted to see it at night.

Along the way, I passed a United Airlines billboard advertising the new Chicago-Beijing non-stop service. Along with 'more non-stop flights to China.' Although it is very unlikely I will ever be on a jet to China, things like this clue me into the many possibilities of a place like Chicago.

As I drove past downtown on my way south, I thought it would be great to drive into Indiana. I wanted to visit the Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore to get back to nature for a bit. Part of my motivation was to see how much I enjoyed this relative to city life. Once I got into Indiana, I thought I might very well head into Michigan to see the dunes there. I almost made it that far.

By the time I reached the National Lakeshore, it was getting dark. I finally found a turn off for Mt. Baldy and took it. This lead into a parking lot where, ahead of me, there was a dimly lit white object. I thought it might be a sand dune so I put on my high beams. It was a dune but unfortunately I was not on its lake side. Only slightly disappointed, I decided to head back to the Chicago area.

As I approached downtown from the south, I was treated to the best night view of the city I have seen so far. It was spectacular. I wish there had been a place where I could have pulled over to get photos.

I was glad to be back among the heavy city traffic on the expressways. I felt at home and more alive than on the country road leading to the National Seashore.

Saturday, I headed out for Woodfield Mall because it was a rainy, chilly day. When I arrived, the parking lot was packed and cars were lined up on the street to get in. I noticed the clouds were starting to break up, so I decided to change plans and head downtown. The rain and clouds were back by the time I got there, but I took time to drive around some neighborhoods north of downtown. Including Lincoln Park and Old Town. Despite the intermittent rain, there were crowds of people along the streets lined with restaurants and retail shops. Again, I felt right at home.

Part of the reason I drive so much is that my car is now a refuge for me. A place where I feel free of the pressures of my roommate. I realized today that I cannot stay with her much more than another month or two.

My parents often took long, spur of the moment trips and I think I 'inherited' this wanderlust from them.

There are roughly 200,000 people in the Fargo-Moorhead region. If this job is with the employer I suspect from the description, they may well cover GRS. That might make it worth the move. Maybe....

The average January high temperature is only about 6 degrees lower than what the Twin Cities experiences. That means it is about 15 degrees colder than Chicago in January. That can't be too bad.