Desperate and Depressed

Dana Lane (imported) · Wed Sep 30, 2009 3:38 am

So, I went and ordered my Siterone well in advance of when I would need it. I know it takes a while to get it and today I had realized I didn't get it yet and it was way overdue. So I tracked the package down and found it had been delivered the 15th!!!! Our receptionist signed for it so it got to my department. But it didn't make it to my office. So, either someone accidentally picked it up or intentionally picked it up. In any event, I am close to being out of Siterone and am so depressed I can't stand it. I left work early.

I was contemplating stopping by a hardware store and getting a chisel.

I have 5 Siterone left and reordered a new batch and know it isn't going to be here for 2 weeks. So I have like 2.5 days left. I never drink during the day but am half lit on wine and drinking more thinking of a way to severe the cords to my testicles. I guess I am posting this because I would like to know what you all think would be the danger of using a rounded tipped or blunt tipped chisel and hammer to sever the cords to my testicles?

I am normally totally down to earth but this situation has made me feel desperate.

IbPervert (imported) · Wed Sep 30, 2009 3:52 am

When ever you are full of panic and desperate the first thing is to calm yourself down. Humans can not think clearly when you get to worked up, and that is when you start making mistakes.

Dana Lane (imported) · Wed Sep 30, 2009 4:01 am

IbPervert (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 30, 2009 3:52 am When ever you are full of panic and desperate the first thing is to calm yourself down. Humans can not think clearly when you get to worked up, and that is when you start making mistakes.

I am having a hard time calming myself down because I feel there is no alternative. I will not allow my T to start climbing again.

I have plenty of Sandrena Gel. Can I overrun the T if I increase my dosage of it?

IbPervert (imported) · Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:10 am

Sit down someplace that is quite...someplace where you wont be disturbed and take some deep breathes. You can also do other things like take a long walk, clean house or if your house is already clean you can come over and clean mine!

When you are panicked and desperate you can not hear your spirit guide in heaven! Your spirit guide is there to help you and will help you, but you have to be calm enough to hear him or her.

vesal_mas (imported) · Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:17 am

Dana Lane,

Please, don't panick.

I can't imagine precisely your situation, but I remember it took literally weeks before my testosterone levels went up to significant levels, just after 4 weekls androcur.

I don't think there will be serious problems.

Hold On,

Vesal.

fhunter · Post by **fhunter** » Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:33 am

Dana Lane (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 30, 2009 3:38 am So, I went and ordered my Siterone well in advance of when I would need it. I know it takes a while to get it and today I had realized I didn't get it yet and it was way overdue. So I tracked the package down and found it had been delivered the 15th!!!! Our receptionist signed for it so it got to my department. But it didn't make it to my office. So, either someone accidentally picked it up or intentionally picked it up. In any event, I am close to being out of Siterone and am so depressed I can't stand it. I left work early.

I was contemplating stopping by a hardware store and getting a chisel.

I have 5 Siterone left and reordered a new batch and know it isn't going to be here for 2 weeks. So I have like 2.5 days left. I never drink during the day but am half lit on wine and drinking more thinking of a way to severe the cords to my testicles. I guess I am posting this because I would like to know what you all think would be the danger of using a rounded tipped or blunt tipped chisel and hammer to sever the cords to my testicles?

I am normally totally down to earth but this situation has made me feel desperate.

First of all - don't panic.

It takes at least a week (may be more) for testosterone levels to return back up.

On the other hand...I was almost in almost the same situation, but panicked all the same :-\. But I skipped only two days back then.

Estrogen will probably slow down this process, but not much (I am not an expert here).

And using hammer - you want to cut the cords or to crush them? It is dangerous and painfull (I can attest - I tried using cross-peen hammer and metal block on the cord - and was unable to hit with needed force - it was too much pain).

Even if you succeed you risk internal bleeding and shock.

Please, try to calm down...

Hash (imported) · Post by **Hash (imported)** » Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:52 am

Desperation and depression have led many of us to do things that we regret. I fully understand, you need to take action, but not with a chisel. Go to the ER or get to your doctor and ask for something for depression. They might want you to give a history of yourself and that might not sit well with you, I don't know, but hopefully they'll give you something to take away the depression and calm you down. Please, pursue this path first! Perhaps if you tell them what you need they'll even give you some to last you.

Dana Lane (imported) · Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:37 am

I don't believe it. I had ordered spiro before but decided not to take it and just came across the bottle. I totally forgot about it. I am saved. OMG.

Thank you for your comments and warnings and hugs.

Uncle Flo (imported) · Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:32 am

Good news for you! I think you will be all right. Be well. --FLO--

Dana Lane (imported) · Wed Sep 30, 2009 9:08 am

Uncle Flo (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:32 am Good news for you! I think you will be all right. Be well. --FLO--

Thanks! It just got better. I just found a whole box (25 days worth) of siterone. What a nice end to a stressful day. Wow, it made me realize how much I truly do not want T in my body.

Dave (imported) · Post by **Dave (imported)** » Wed Sep 30, 2009 11:25 am

Please don't panic and do anything drastic when things like this happen.

Let me tell a story... When I get nervous, I get droppy -- I drop forks and spoons, break dishes, burn food, splatter a dish of spaghetti on the floor. At that point, I know that I have to stop, maybe scream and yell for a minute, but all of the time, I have to collect my thoughts, calm my nerves, take a deep breath (several of them)... and then go on in a reasonable manner.

So when things like this happen, stop and calm yourself.

And you did good by posting here.

Riverwind (imported) · Wed Sep 30, 2009 12:37 pm

You know, there are days I wonder if coming here any more makes a difference, the answer is Yes it does. Where else could you go with this kind of problem and have people that you have never met be there for you, hold your hand as it were and get you through it in one piece.

This site does make a difference. Thank you all for great support, well done.

River

gareth19 (imported) · Post by **gareth19 (imported)** » Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:27 pm

Dana Lane (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 30, 2009 3:38 am So, I went and ordered my Siterone well in advance of when I would need it. I know it takes a while to get it and today I had realized I didn't get it yet and it was way overdue. So I tracked the package down and found it had been delivered the 15th!!!! Our receptionist signed for it so it got to my department. But it didn't make it to my office. So, either someone accidentally picked it up or intentionally picked it up. In any event, I am close to being out of Siterone and am so depressed I can't stand it. I left work early.

I am glad you are feeling better, but 2 questions. 1) Why are you having personal medications (or anything else) delivered to your workplace. If you have no privacy at home, rent a PO Box for personal deliveries. 2) If the receptionist signed for it, and the package made it to your department, who received it? There is a "chain of custody" here, and someone is responsible for the package and therefore responsible for your loss. If you are reluctant to complain because it is a personal item, then there is a possibility that someone at work is trying to harass you so don't give him (or her) the power by using your workplace as a delivery spot for none work-related materials.

A while back I ordered several hundred dollars worth of drafting equipment from Germany which was delivered to my workplace (cause that's what I use at work), and somebody walked off with the package. The manager traced the chain of custody and found the guy who took my supplies, got it back for me and fired the bastard. Jim had no sympathy for the guy. The package was addressed to me, he knew it wasn't for him and that he hadn't paid for it, so it was theft.

Dana Lane (imported) · Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:49 pm

gareth19 (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:27 pm I am glad you are feeling better, but 2 questions. 1) Why are you having personal medications (or anything else) delivered to your workplace. If you have no privacy at home, rent a PO Box for personal deliveries. 2) If the receptionist signed for it, and the package made it to your department, who received it? There is a "chain of custody" here, and someone is responsible for the package and therefore responsible for your loss. If you are reluctant to complain because it is a personal item, then there is a possibility that someone at work is trying to harass you so don't give him (or her) the power by using your workplace as a delivery spot for none work-related materials.

A while back I ordered several hundred dollars worth of drafting equipment from Germany which was delivered to my workplace (cause that's what I use at work), and somebody walked off with the package. The manager traced the chain of custody and found the guy who took my supplies, got it back for me and fired the bastard. Jim had no sympathy for the guy. The package was addressed to me, he knew it wasn't for him and that he hadn't paid for it, so it was theft.

I normally don't have any problems with delivery at work. I might go ahead and get a po box, though. I think that is a good idea. And I have a suspicion that someone may be kind of freaked out about what I am doing and I suppose it is possible that person grabbed them. But who knows. There is one fact..someone other than myself has those in their possession.

Dana Lane (imported) · Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:54 pm

Now that my head is cleared up a bit and I am in a better frame of mind I would like to express how happy I am that I found you all. I had gathered some tools and began figuring out how to do what I felt I needed last night and as I came back here and checked for replies it brought me back down to earth a bit. Thank you EU from the bottom of my heart.

Even though this whole situation was depressing and stressful it did make me realize how important my transition is to me. The panic I felt made it almost seem like my life was in danger. At least how I was going to respond to it. I have no doubt in my mind that I want (and will) become a Eunuch and I can't wait for that day to come. I suppose I need to go ahead and find a therapist and start the patch the proper way.

Hugs to the huggable, kisses to the kissable and handshakes to everyone else!

Dana Lane (imported) · Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:55 pm

btw, anyone ever tried to use hemostats in cutting off the supply to the evil t makers?

Riverwind (imported) · Wed Sep 30, 2009 11:38 pm

Don't do that, go the safe route, use a Doctor qualified in this kind of surgery.

River

Dana Lane (imported) · Thu Oct 01, 2009 12:52 am

Riverwind (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 30, 2009 11:38 pm Don't do that, go the safe route, use a Doctor qualified in this kind of surgery.

River

You are right of course.

I will focus on the appropriate path.

Dana Lane (imported) · Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:49 am

Okay, I called a gender therapist and am awaiting a call back to setup my first appointment. I will post updates in my blog.

mrt (imported) · Post by **mrt (imported)** » Thu Oct 01, 2009 12:16 pm

I'm so glad to hear that. Doing this with a therapist and your doctor will insure its done in a safe way. And once your doctor is on board you can pick up your meds at any pharmacy. And btw you will then know your getting the real thing and not some "internet" crap that some guys in China are making up in a bathroom.

Good luck!

Dana Lane (imported) · Thu Oct 01, 2009 6:49 pm

mrt (imported) wrote: Thu Oct 01, 2009 12:16 pm I'm so glad to hear that. Doing this with a therapist and your doctor will insure its done in a safe way. And once your doctor is on board you can pick up your meds at any pharmacy. And btw you will then know your getting the real thing and not some "internet" crap that some guys in China are making up in a bathroom.

Good luck!

I see the doctor for the first visit in 3 weeks! I guess even though a bad situation led me to go ahead and contact a doctor it is a good thing and a major step towards my goal. Thanks again everyone!

nullorchis (imported) · Fri Oct 02, 2009 1:07 pm

Maybe obtain some NON DGL LIcorice tablets from the Natural Food Store.

NON DGL Licorice may reduce testosterone and might get you through, but I see no need to panic.

http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/herbsvi ... Erecti.htm

Do read all the notices regarding who should not take it, and how much to take and how long to take it.

Depending on how much Siterone you are taking (were taking) there can be some side effects from suddendly stopping Siterone. Refer to the manufacturer's printed sheet for details. Knowing what they are can help to relieve any anxiety you may be experiencing. When you know what is happening, and why, that is a big relief.

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