Want to be a masculine eunuch

[takemineaway]

hey,
out in Ca. love the idea of losing my balls. Would love to have a eunuch top me. I like to band, and push my nuts inside me, giving me an empty sack. just seeing if I'm the only guy not wanting to be feminized but not wanting balls either.
I thought about stirring the first time I saw it done, but don't think I can handle it. I also wanted to do an ever-clear attempt but ironically can't get past the needle idea. I've inflated my sack with saline before but never injected a nut.
Once my balls are gone, I've always said I wanted to keep the sack so I can inflate it with saline should I ever miss my balls, LOL, yet at the same time just desire the smooth look with a nub for a penis. I do not want to be fem, just a man without balls. It's weird, but I'm just wondering if there are any men out there that feel the same, or any eunuchs in this category (a masculine eunuch.)
I've banded my balls to the point where they are dark purple, cold to the touch, numb, and to the point where I get that knot in my stomach, a good indication that my balls are truly dying. I just couldn't get far enough along to actually kill them off. I'm sure over time I am becoming a eunuch by doing this. I know my testicles have shrunk, yet my T levels are in the mid to low normal range. I fantasize about CBT, and castration. Love the look of a nub and no balls, as Ive been shrinking my dick as well. Weird I'm a circumcised male, but looking at my shrunken dick, you'd think I was an intact man with a micro penis. It's a strong desire to lose my balls, guessing I'm not man enough to really get rid of them LOL.
I'm only looking for sincere replies. Pls no fakers, just honest replies.

[WheelyFixed]

Welcome to the forum, glad to see you have found us...

I would make the minor request that you not make the same or very similar posts in a bunch of different threads... I know it can be exciting to have found a place that seems to fit your interests so well, but flooding us with a bunch of post with the same content doesn't make a great impression.

Otherwise, nothing you are saying or doing sounds terribly unusual or weird. A lot of our members have desired to avoid feminizing, and generally if one simply uses low dose T for hormone replacement you will be fine. If you don't use any form of HRT or (as I do) use estrogen, you will get some level of growth in the department - just how much is unpredictable, but at your age likely it won't be so much that you couldn't pass as "normal male" with your shirt on.

Playing with saline and so on is a bit less common but not unheard of. It does carry some level of medical risk (as does any sort of injecting) but not excessive if you follow standard medical precautions.

Banding is considerably higher risk, especially for extended periods of time, as it can lead to issues with blood clots, and various sorts of blood poisoning...

You do have a number of options if you do want to actually get surgery. The first is to follow the WPATH "SOCv8" process which is fairly lengthy and has a fair number of hoops you would have to jump through, but is readily accessible in the US, and is usually covered at least partly by most health insurance. Depending on just where in CA you live, you might also consider going to Dr. A's clinic in Mexico, who operates on an 'informed consent' basis which can be a little simpler, but you will have to pay out of pocket.

Good luck on your journey, and feel free to ask questions...

WheelyFixed