My life

[butterflyjack (imported)]

Ahh..the joy of the uncushioned ass...smooches dragonfly

[Caith721 (imported)]

Great news about being able to ditch the donut, Danya. (Alliteration intended ) It's difficult to believe it requires from nine to twelve months for all of the tissue swelling to recede and for everything to look as normal as it ever will. Just getting rid of the donut is another excellent sign of your continuing recovery.

So, will you be running in the 2012 Chicago marathon?

(Okay, I apologize in advance for giving you screwball ideas.)

[kristoff]

So, will you be running in the 2012 Chicago marathon?

(Okay, I apologize in advance for giving you screwball ideas.)

I suspect it might be difficult in heels!

[graylayer02 (imported)]

I suspect it might be difficult in heels!

You'll have to offer her some nun shoes then. They're very practical.

[graylayer02 (imported)]

Oh, and congratulations at getting rid of the butt-donut. You'll be riding bikes in no time.

[butterflyjack (imported)]

Great news about being able to ditch the donut, Danya. (Alliteration intended ) It's difficult to believe it requires from nine to twelve months for all of the tissue swelling to recede and for everything to look as normal as it ever will. Just getting rid of the donut is another excellent sign of your continuing recovery.

So, will you be running in the 2012 Chicago marathon?

(Okay, I apologize in advance for giving you screwball ideas.)

Hey Caith...how's it going ? Back home, a few ounces lighter, I assume...and a whole lot lighter emotionally...Gawd I wish it were me...nice and ball-less..

My panties would fit a lot better...I might be able to enter the marathon...in heels...yum smooches all dragonfly

[Danya (imported)]

I've been so busy reading other threads, and job hunting, that I ignored my own. I will respond to everyone by later tonight or tomorrow. You have been forewarned.

Right now, I need to get ready to get out of the house to my favorite spot in Chicagoland. I need the exercise to clear my befuddled brain!

I have a phone interview tomorrow morning for a permanent job in the city that is often referred to as the 'left coast of Wisconsin' and '78 square miles surrounded by reality.' I might fit right in! But its metro area is only 1/20th the size of Chicago's. I was in Milwaukee yesterday, which is much larger than this other place, and I thought it was way too small for me. At least this other 'M' city is only 122 miles from downtown Chicago. It is, however, significantly colder in the winter.

I'm already writing more than I intended. So what else is new?

I also have the opportunity to apply for a permanent job in the Philadelphia metro area. In a city known, in a whittled down version, as KofP.

Then there are two contract-to-hire jobs I've been submitted for here in Chicagoland. One is about 5 miles down the road from where I live.

Clearly, I've made the decision to consider moving. I'd prefer Portland, OR, perhaps over all other locations. The market there for what I do is pretty decent right now. I will contact recruiters and seach job boards for Portland.

I will respond to everyone later. That's a promise, or threat , dependng on your point of view.

[kennath7 (imported)]

danya

Con. Grats

I know how good it feels inside when a life long goal is achieved and surpassed. you traveled a long road to get where your are at today

Over coming many obstacles You should feel good knowing it has made you a stronger person I am happy for you

[Mac (imported)]

Dear Danya,

You have now accomplished your major life goal. Congratulations! Now you have to get that permanent job. I really thought that the company where you were working temporary would have a job for you following your surgery. I guess they were not such a great place to work.

[Danya (imported)]

Great news about being able to ditch the donut, Danya. (Alliteration intended ) It's difficult to believe it requires from nine to twelve months for all of the tissue swelling to recede and for everything to look as normal as it ever will. Just getting rid of the donut is another excellent sign of your continuing recovery.

I'm still thrilled about ditching the darn donut! It's still uncomfortable sitting, although there is little pain so this is tolerable. My swelling continues to subside. As a result, everything 'down there' now lines up just as one would hope. I have no doubt now that it will take many more months for things to look their best.

Meanwhile, my HRT doctor seems to be promoting the idea of a sexual encounter! He knows I cannot even consider this for another month. I told him that I'd need to wait until my swelling is gone. He said "no, you dont."

While the idea of a sexual experience is enticing, I have no intention of becoming a loose woman.

I have noticed that a certain part of my new anatomy is now quite sensitive, in an amazing way, to manual stimulation.

So, will you be running in the 2012 Chicago marathon?

(Okay, I apologize in advance for giving you screwball ideas.)

No need to apologize, Caith! Allthough I'm capable of coming up with screwball ideas of my own.

I could, for instance, compete in an inline skatin

g marathon. It is even more difficult

to skate in heels than to run in the

m (see Kristoff's comment below.)

I suspect it migh

t be difficult in

heels!

I always try to look my best! I have run in heels before,

to catch trains.

You'll have to offer her some nun shoes then. They're very practical.

Practical nun shoes. Eek!

Oh, and congratulations at getting rid of the butt-donut. You'll be riding bikes in no time.

Thanks Graylayer02! I love bike riding, as long as the bicycle doesn't have those funny pedal straps you someone have to get your feet i

nto.

danya

Con. Grats

I know how good it feels inside when a life long goal is achieved and surpassed. you trav

eled a long road to get where your are at today

Over coming many obstacles You should feel good knowing it has made you a stronger person I am happy for you

Thanks, Kennath7. I know you can relate to how I feel and you understand all that's involved in getting this far. It has be

en a long road, but it has all been worth it.

Dear Danya,

You have now accomplished your major life goal. Congratulations! Now you have to get that permanent job. I really thought that the company where you were working temporary would have a job for you following your surgery. I guess they were not such a great place to work.

Thanks, Mac.

It seems there are more contract-to-hire and permanent jobs now than a year ago. I am applying for contract, contract-to-hire, and permanent jobs. I cannot afford to wait for a possible permanent job if I am offered a contract first.

Got to get back to job hunting and get ready for a 3 PM interview.

[Mac (imported)]

.................

Meanwhile, my HRT doctor seems to be promoting the idea of a sexual encounter! He knows I cannot even consider this for another month. I told him that I'd need to wait until my swelling is gone. He said "no, you dont."

While the idea of a sexual experience is enticing, I have no intention of becoming a loose woman. .............................

Dear Danya,

Your purpose in getting the final surgery was not to f**k every guy you encounter. If you ultimately have a relationship that leads to sex then so be it. If that never happens you have not lost anything. Don't rush into it or seek it out as your primary purpose.

[Danya (imported)]

Dear Danya,

Your purpose in getting the final surgery was not to f**k every guy you encounter. If you ultimately have a relationship that leads to sex then so be it. If that never happens you have not lost anything. Don't rush into it or seek it out as your primary purpose.

Hi Mac,

I doubt that anyone who knows me well, including my doctor, could ever imagine my seeking out men for the sole purpose of having sex. Besides, that can be very dangerous. Even more so for trans women than natal women. I am in full agreement with you!

[Danya (imported)]

Yesterday, I saw my doctor for about the fourth time since my surgery in mid-April. All of these visits have been to treat and follow-up on complications from GRS. At this latest examination, he said "Wow." I asked if that was a good wow or a bad wow. It was a very good one. I no longer need to see him for post-surgery problems; everything is now healing normally.

It will still take months for all of my swelling to disappear. Meanwhile, that adds some discomfort and slight pain to sitting. It's not too bad, though.

[quote="

Danya (impor[quote="Danya (imported)" time=1

306108020]
ted)" time=1305779100]

my return, t[

quo

te="Danya (imported)" time=[quote="Dan
301610480]
1298701740]

hat I did not think to apply for unemploy

ment benefi[

quot

e="Danya (imported)" time=1[quote="Dan

ya (imported)"

time=1301364480]
298593500]

ts. When I returned home, I was so weak, i
[/quote]
n pain and m[
[/quote]
quo

te="Danya (imported)" time=[quote="Dan

ya (imported)"

time=1300836300]
1298514060]

ostly confined to bed that I still did no
[/quote]
t think abou[
[/quote]
quo

te="Danya (imported)" time=[quote="Dan

ya (imported)"

time=1299723900]
1298502960]

t it.

I will apply this week. My doctor
[/quote]
is glad to c
[/quote]
[quo

te="Danya (imported)" time=[quote="Dan

ya (imported)"

time=1299636540]
1298427360]

onfirm that surgery was medically necessa
[/quote]
ry, if it co
[/quote]
[quo

te="Danya (imported)" time=[quote="Dan

ya (imported)"

time=1299583140]
1297917840]

mes to that. When I left the contract job in Ap
[/quote]
ril, [
[/quote]
quot

e="Danya (imported)" time=1[quote="Dan

ya (imported)"

time=1299538860]
297814340]

both the agency I worked for and the compa
[/quote]
ny I worked [
[/qu[quote="

Danya (imported)" time=1299464640]
ote

]
quote="Danya

(imported)" time=1297221120]

[/quote]

at were considering my time away (includi[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1299279360]
ng recovery[

quote="Danya (import

ed)" time=1
[/quote]
2
[/quote]
96531120]
) as a 'medical leave.' I was also told I'[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1299197580]
d have a jo[q
[/quote

]
uote="Danya
[

/quote]
(imported)" time=12

96439380]
b when [quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1299018060]
I returned. That hasn't panned

out so far.
[/q

uote]


Ins[

quote="Danya (imported)" time=1296271
[/quote]
260]
[quote="Danya

(imported)" time=1298937060]
tead of applying for ben

efits online, I'll go to th

e
[/quote]
[quote="Danya (imported)" time=[
[/quote]
quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1298701740]
1295827080]
neares

t unemploym

ent office. That way, I

can file fo
[/quote]
r
[/quote]
[quote="Danya (import

ed)" time[quote="Danya (imported)" time=1298593

500]
=1295670060

]
benefits to be paid retroactively from mid-April.
[

/q
[/quote]
uote]


I[quote="Danya (i

mported)" time=[quote="Danya (imported)" time=12985

14060]
1295573940]

f I qualify for benefits, I will f

eel less
[/quote]
urgency ab
[/quote]
[quo

te="Danya (imported)" time=[quote="Danya (imported)"
[/q

uote]
time=1298502960]
1295488680]
out takin

g a job outside the Chicago regi

on. In addit[
[/quote]
qu

ote="Danya (imported)" time=[quote="Danya (imported

)" time=12984273

60]
1295153580]
ion, colle

cting retroactive benefits woul
[/quote]
d help my b[
[/quote]
quot

e="Danya (imported)" time=1[quote="Dan

ya (imported)" ti

me=1297917840]
294620240]

ank account.

My resume has been online fo
[/quote]
r roughly 1[q
[/quote]
uot

e="Danya (imported)" time=1[quote="Dan

ya (imported)"

time=1297814340]
294444140]
0 days. I

have been getting a lot of interest, both lo
[/quote]

[/quote]
[quo

te="Danya (imported)" time=[quote="Dan

ya (imported)"

time=1297221120]
1294110840]

cally and nationally. I am getting impati
[/quote]
ent, though.
[/quote]


[q

uote="Danya (imported)" tim[quote="Dan

ya (imported)"

time=1296531120]
e=129293946

0]
__________________________________________________
[/quote]

[/quote]
_

Friday afternoon, I intervie[quote="Dan

ya (imported)" time=1296439

380]
wed at an a

gency for a contract-to-hire job at a company about
[/quote]
7 miles from hom

e. The young, female recrui[quote="Dan

ya (imported)"

time=1296271260]
ter submitt

ed my resume to the company and we're wait
[/quote]
ing for feedback.

She w

as the first recruiter to ask [quote="Da

nya (imported)" time=129582

7080]
about my surgery. Wh

atever agency or company I work with will do
[/quote]
a background

check. I will need to suppl[quote="Dan

ya (imported)" time=1295

670060]
y my former

legal name. To not do so and have it turn
[/quote]
up in a background check

is a no-no. It would be con[quote="Dan

ya (imported)"

time=1295573940]
sidered lying. So I d

ecided I might as well tell her
[/quote]
that I had GRS.

I never s

eem to have a problem in pu[quote="Dan

ya (imported)" time=1295488

680]
blic and my doctor a

nd many others have told me they would not h
[/quote]
ave guessed I a

m trans when we first met. [quote="Dan

ya (imported)"

time=1295153580]
I had no pr

oblem with the young woman, either. I coul
[/quote]
d tell by her expression t

hat she was surprised. Then [quote="Da

nya (imported)"

time=1294620240]
she said she never w

ould have guessed. She added 'how did you ge
[/quote]
t that voice?'

I gave a brief explanation.

[quote="

Danya (imported)" time=129

4444140]
Generall

y, I'm fine with my voice although I think
[/quote]
I could improve on it jus

t a bit. My doctor told me [quote="Dan

ya (imported)"

time=1294110840]
yesterday I

do not need to do a thing with my voice. He jokingly
[/quote]
added that I

could improve my diction.

[quote="D

anya (imported)" time=12929

39460]
____________________

______________________________
[/quote]
____________

When I spok

e with my doctor, I told him how I need

ed to figure ou

t a career path for the rest

of my life. I was more subtle than that, but he knows me well and knew what

I meant. He told me that I'[quote="Da

nya (imported)" time=128724

2880]
m putting too much p

ressure on myself.
[/quote]
Duh! This seems to be an innate tendenc

y for me. I was glad, though, that

he reminded me.

__________________________

________________________ ____________

All of this thinking about moving/not moving, this career or that career is really too much to handle right now. I need

to stay with my current career path, at least for the near term.

The job market for this is good. There is no need, and probably no time, to jump to a different career now.

Then again, I may change my mind tomor

row. It's that woman's prerogative thing - or not.

__________________________________________________ __________

I also told my doctor that, since surgery, my hairline at the top and sides of my forehead is starting to regrow hair I lost years ago. I would be able to go without a wig even if this were not the case, once it's long enough in about two months.

He looked and confirmed this hair is indeed starting to come back. He wasn't surprised. It's rather fine hair that I hope will become thicker as the months go by.

[butterflyjack (imported)]

Very good news....smooches drag n fly

[Caith721 (imported)]

Yesterday, I saw my doctor for about the fourth time since my surgery in mid-April. All of these visits have been to treat and follow-up on complications from GRS. At this latest examination, he said "Wow." I asked if that was a good wow or a bad wow. It was a very good one. I no longer need to see him for post-surgery problems; everything is now healing normally.

It will still take months for all of my swelling to disappear. Meanwhile, that adds some discomfort and slight pain to sitting. It's not too bad, though.

Isn't it a great feeling to hear that "good Wow!" ? Congratulations on healing quickly and well. Remember to keep track of the improvements, either weekly or monthly. They're often very subtle and are definitely worth remembering in the long term after you're completely healed and recovered.

[Danya (imported)]

Isn't it a great feeling to hear that "good Wow!" ? Congratulations on healing quickly and well. Remember to keep track of the improvements, either weekly or monthly. They're often very subtle and are definitely worth remembering in the long term after you're completely healed and recovered.

Thanks for the congratulations, Caith!

Keeping track of my progress is a terrific idea. I could even attempt to get photos with my point and shoot camera. I would do this solely for my own use, of course.

I can easily tell that there is a huge difference between how things look today versus just a few weeks ago. As the swelling continues to go down, I can see that Dr. Brassard did a superb job. Clitoral hooding is very good for this one-step surgical method, as I can tell by looking at post op photos for different surgeons on the web. My inner labia definition is also coming along well.

A few days ago, I wore fairly tight form-fitting pants for the first time. I might try going out in heels again soon, although I'll likely avoid running in them for some time to come[qu

ote="Danya

(imported)" time=1306108020]
.

"Danya (imported)" time=1299538860]
quote]
a (imported)" time=1296271260]
[quote="Danya
[

/quote]
(imported

)" time=1295827080]
[quote="
[/quot[quote

="Danya (imported)" time=1299279360]
e]
Danya (imported)" time=1295670060]
[quote="Dany
[/

quote]
a (imported)" time=129557394

0]
[quote="

Danya (imported

)" time=1295488680]
[quote="

[/quote]

Danya (im

ported)" time=1295153580]
[quote="Dany
[/[quote

="Danya (imported)" time=1298701740]
quote]
a (imported)" time=1294620240]
[quote="
[/quo[
[/quote]
quote="Danya (imported)" time=1298593500]
te]
Danya (imported)" time=1294444140]
[quote="Dany
[/[quote
[/quote]
="Danya (imported)" time=1298514060]
quote]
a (imported)" time=1294110840]
[quote="
[/quot[q
[/quote]
uote="Danya (imported)" time=1298502960]
e]
Danya (imported)" time=1292939460]
____________
[/
[/quote]

quote]
______________________________________
[/quote

]
____

Job search update:

Monday seems to be a sl[

quote="Danya (imported)" time=1297814340]
ow day for new job postings and calls from recruiters. [quot
[/quote]
e="Danya (imported)" time=1297221120]
The one call I got today was for a permanent job in
[/quote]

the SW suburbs. I am very qualified for this. A fr

iend in a similar line of work agrees that there are not [quot

e="Danya (imported)" time=1296271260]
likely to be many people who are. So I may have a de

cent shot.

One recruiter, in New Jersey, sent an ema[quote

="Danya (imported)" time=1295670060]
il about a job in the Bay area of California. I will
[/quote]

pursue this, too. I'm willing to do this because I wo

rked my way out of feeling a bit down yesterday. That [quot

e="Danya (imported)" time=1295153580]
led to my comments on not wanting to leave Chicago.
[/quote]

As long as I allow time to get out and have a littl[quote=

"Danya (imported)" time=1294444140]
e inexpensive fun, as I did today, I continue to do we
[/quote]

ll and I know that I will get everything to work out.

[quo

te="Danya (imported)" time=1292939460]
__________________________________________________
[/quote]
______

When I do get out, it is usually spur of the moment, after I've done all I can for my job search. Friday evening, I took the 'L' downtown to Millennium Park for a free concert of works by Poulenc and Mendelssohn. Saturday evening I went to a free jazz band concert at a suburban college. Several well known jazz musicians were guest artists; it was a wonderful experience.

[Danya (imported)]

I continue to feel in a fine mood nearly all the time. This blows my mind, considering I have no job, I do not yet know if I will be eligible for unemployment insurance, my financial resources have drastically shrunk over the last two years due to transition expenses, I may need to move for employment and so on.

I am simply happy.

This morning, I noticed a new job posting for the botanic garden. I will go after this.

Yesterday, t least three recruiters contacted me about a job in the northern suburbs. All of the agencies were on the east or west coast. Interest from multiple people is a good indication that what I offer is a good match for this job.

I applied through the first recruiter to contact me. This morning, he called to say that the company liked my resume and wanted to interview me. I've been through this before. I'll believe it when and if it happens.

I will wait another week or two to decide if I should remain in Chicago. Among major metropolitan areas, the Chicago job postings for my career continue to be quite low. I cannot afford to wait here too long when the job market is much better in several other parts of the country.

[Danya (imported)]

I don't have the resources to wait around the Chicago area for months to see if someone offers me a permanent job. The contract and contract-to-hire opportunities are also not nearly as numerous as they were last year at this time.

Late Friday, I spoke with a recruiter about my conclusion that the current Chicago market for what I do is much poorer than most other metro areas. I told him that Boston, for instance, looked to be much better. He agreed with me.

Portland, OR seems to be another hot market, as I have tracked it over the last few months.

My Minnesota woman friend told me this afternoon that this is all a numbers game. She's right. I need to continue applying for jobs until I get one. The problem is, there are few here to apply for. In the last four days, I haven't found a single one.

Recruiters are still calling and I have been submitted for several permanent jobs. I am being contacted, though, by more recruiters outside Chicagoland.

When I moved here last March, I was applying for jobs every day. The situation has changed, so I continue to evaluate my options. This is time-consuming and it wears me out. All I want is a 'normal' life. At least to be able to stay in the same location for several years. Is that too much to ask? No, but I accept that it may be too much to expect. Such is life. I will do what I must.

I continue to rule out potential offers in areas that I consider undesirable for trans folk. For instance, a recruiter wanted to submit me for a permanent job in Appleton, Wisconsin. At first, I thought terrific. A place named Appleton sounds very pleasant. Turns out it is extremely socially conservative and, to top it off, the John Birch Society is located near Appleton.

My hormone doctor, who has trans patients from all over Illinois and parts of Wisconsin and Indiana, agrees with the prevailing wisdom that Illinois is great for trans folks, as long as you are not south of Interstate-80. He doesn't think it would be a good idea for me to move to that area, even though he has told me more than once that I pass well. That can become irrelevant if some not too nice person were to find out I am not a natal woman.

Generally, I continue to feel upbeat about the future. When I get too worn out from my intensive job search, though, I can feel down for a time. Then I know I need to relax and take care of myself.

[Danya (imported)]

A few people send occasional PM's asking for details of what certain things feel like, or what's the most significant difference I've noticed and so on after surgery. With the many hours I'm putting into my job search, I do not have time to answer these types of PM's. Then again, I say no more or less than I want to about my surgery on this thread. When and if I have more time, I may provide more details.

One thing I did not expect from GRS was for it to radically change my life. So I was not disappointed when it did not. I do feel more complete and more confident. A lot of my increased confidence may be more from the satisfaction of achieving a major life goal than from surgery itself. In the end, I don't care about the source of these feelings.

I have started scheduling in 'quality time' just for me to relax every day, even though I want to spend every waking moment on my job search. This way I stay in a good mood, a very important thing for me to do well at interviews. I spent two hours at the botanic garden yesterday evening and an hour this evening.

A second recruiter has agreed with my analysis of the Chicago area job market for my career. Things may yet work out here. I have two phone interviews with hiring managers tomorrow. This morning I had a phone interview for a job in Pittsburgh.

'X' - I see him occasionally and the relationship we have now is strictly friendship. After leaving the botanic garden this evening, I met him at a restaurant that serves hamburgers for $2 every Tuesday. For the first time, I'm able to discuss politics and know that neither one of us will lose our cool.

[Danya (imported)]

I had so many calls from recruiters today, and job applications to submit, that I was unable to follow my own advice of giving myself time to relax every day. As a result, I am feeling a little anxious about an in-person interview I have tomorrow afternoon in a nearby suburb. This is with a hiring manager and it is for contract job. Once again, writing here is allowing me to relax.

I may very well have another interview for a contract-to-hire type job in a day or two. This is with the downtown company I worked at the last half of 2010. I won't repeat the problems I had with my very difficult boss. This new opportunity is in a different department and I would not be working with her.

Tuesday, I have a phone interview for a contract job in Pittsburgh. If I am offered the job, I just might take it. The benefits are outstanding for contract work. This job would give me my first experience working in the health care industry. That would be terrific for my resume.

Danya (impor[quote="Danya (imported)" time=1

306108020]
ted)" time=1305779100]

[butterflyjack (imported)]

You continue to amaze me...Good luck in your job search...Mr. Big...hehehe

smooches drag n fly

[Danya (imported)]

You continue to amaze me...Good luck in your job search...Mr. Big...hehehe

smooches drag n fly

Hi drag n fly,

I'm only doing what I must. Thaks for the good wishes.

306108020]
ted)" time=1305779100]

[Mac (imported)]

[quote="Danya (imported)" post_id=119578 time=1309987200 user_id=3086]
Hi drag n fly,

I'm only doing what I must. Thaks for the good wishes.

[quote="Danya (imported)" post_id=119576 time=1309404480 user_id=3086]
[quote="Danya (imported)" post_id=119572 time=1308604980 user_id=3086]

04542320]

[Danya (imported)]

The recruiter I met with this morning was the third to confirm my analysis of the IT job market in Chicagoland, at least for my area of expertise. It continues to be worse than last year. It may be improving, but it is not nearly as good as some other locations. Although I have a number of application submissions that are active here, I cannot afford to wait long to see if I am offered a job.

So I am even more actively pursuing opportunities around the country. I worked on this five hours tonight. I will likely take the first decent job offer that is in a reasonbly trans friendly part of the country. I still have my preferred list of locations, but I am willing to consider quite a few others. If I move, I will probably pay all of the expense myself. Since I have few belongings, this would be manageable.

[quote="Mac (imported)" post_id=119579 time=1310010120 user_id=1438]
[quote="Danya (imported)" post_id=119578 time=1309987200 user_id=3086]
[quote="
[/quote]
Danya (imported)" time=1309404480]

[Danya (imported)]

Good news - how did it go?

My phone interview early last evening went well; I won't know for several days if the company wants to proceed further. These interviews are, at the very least, great opportunities for me to get back into waging an effective job hunt.

Meanwhile, so far today four recruiters have called about local contract-to--hire jobs. I've already been submitted for one of those that is downtown. Now I'm updating my resume to specifically address the position requirements of another. Both are excellent companies.

[quote="Mac (imported)" post_id=119579 time=1310010120 user_id=1438]
[quote="Danya (imported)" post_id=119578 time=1309987200 user_id=3086]
[quote="
[/quote]
Danya (imported)" time=1309404480]