How was puberty for you?

[fusion]

Puberty was a nightmare for me if I am 100% honest.

In my family there are 5 kids and I am the middle 3rd child, when I was 9 things started to change and I was not ready at all for puberty to start that early. But also around this time my family started to fall apart due BioMum and Dad seperating and BioMum fighting him for everything.

Even though I had an older brother I was unable to speak to him about things I was going through, dad was not there as he had to work to provide for the 2 kids that stayed with hi, myself and my youngest sister.

I started to feel things for other boys in my school which I did not understand as I was always told boys and girls are ment to be together. I started to hate how much my genitals and body started to change.

I meet a boy who was 3 years older then me at school and we become very much inseperable and he showed me it was ok to be gay and he tried to help with my BIID/GD. He got me to speak to councillors but at the time, mid 00s, the only way to get anything changed was to fully transition which was not something I wanted to do.

I do not see myself as female nor did I see myself as male. As I started to realise I was asexual thanks to the help from my partner of the time.

I found EA when I was 16 and started to read through people's posts and ask questions. I started to meet people like fhunter, and a lot of the older mods from eav1 & V2.

I spoke to my partner and psychologists about this as it made me feel that's what I needed. I explained to them I did not like my male gentiles and puberty up to this point had made everything bigger and hairier.

My partner died a few weeks before my 16th birthday, and everything went dark and I withdrew from the world and found it hard to talk to anyone else about what I needed to get done.

And from there nothing really changed till I was 21, when I found someone who helped me become the eunuch I am today and I could not be happier but puberty was not a fun time for me.

[sftineun]

I started playing with myself early, before puberty. At that time, I had recurring dreams of my penis remaining skinny but growing longer and longer, until I had to wrap it around my small waist several loops. The dream later evolved to being able to screw off the penis like screwing a garden hose from the faucet, and putting it back on when I had to use it with other people, all that before I knew what sex was , what to do or there was any fun in sex.

At that time, I did not even know why sometimes the penis would expand, lengthen and became hard. Even that I felt scared whether there was something wrong with me.

Somewhere along, I learned from my classmates that one can roll the penis back and forth in between our two palms, them demonstrating it by rolling a pencil in their two palms.

Probably, during the 1960's, most of us boys in Asia never got circumcised. For me, my foreskin was so long and the phimosis so tight that I never knew there was a glans inside all that overhanging foreskin. With the foreskin fully covering the glans, it was very pleasurable rolling my penis in between my palm.

One day, around the age of maybe 12 or 13, I experienced my first climax and I was quite scared. I was wondering what all that feeling was about. But then, I wanted to check it out again and kept rolling my penis in my palms.

Still feeling confused about hard-on's and climaxes, to prevent myself from getting hard, I somehow figured out how to tuck the penis back inside my body. I really liked the pressure on my penis.

Along the way, I also figured out how to roll my jockey shorts into the shape of a g-string, and made the front part so tight that it could keep my tucked penis inside my body even when it got hard. (All this was happening before I ever knew there was such a thing as g-string.) I just felt good with my butt cheeks exposed and my penis staying tucked.

However, at that age, just the mere feeling of my cock tucked often made me hard and I would feel so much pain getting hard while still tucked that I would eventually have to let it back out, often with the sense of much regret. Sometimes, I would made me cum so that the hard-on would go down just so that I could tuck it back in and keep it in.

So, in a way, I guess at the age of puberty, I was already not particularly liking hard-on's. And my dreams of the twist off penis evolved into times when I would twist off and misplace the penis and never put it back on.

Right around those years, my junior high Chinese history classes taught us about eunuchs in the Chinese palaces. Somehow, the topic got me not just interested but also excited. Sometimes, I would get fully hard during these history classes, even though I hated studying history.

During about grade 8 to 10, just as all the boys in this Catholic all-boys school, we started a game of groping each other, and my classmates would often asked why I was always so hard. While they took the game as harassing each other, evidently, I was getting sexually excited by touching other boys' crouches. I can't remember finding any boy getting hard. That made me wonder why I was the only kid getting hard, and whether there was something wrong with me.

All these questions eventually drove me to play around with one of the kids who was one year younger than me. When we eventually got to taking off of all our clothes, that was the first time I saw another boy's hard-on. But he was circumcised. and that added to my confusion of whether there was something wrong with my own penis.

(A digression, that boy had his first climax in my hands. He was so scared that he pushed me away and accused me of breaking his penis. Of course, a couple of days later, he came back wanting for more. But he had this strange believe that a male can only cum a limited number of times within his lifetime, so he often demanded that I stopped just before he came. Of course, I loved to see him shoot, and eventually, drinking it all up.)

[TheRagingEunuch]

"During about grade 8 to 10, just as all the boys in this Catholic all-boys school, we started a game of groping each other, and my classmates would often asked why I was always so hard. While they took the game as harassing each other, evidently, I was getting sexually excited by touching other boys' crouches. I can't remember finding any boy getting hard. That made me wonder why I was the only kid getting hard, and whether there was something wrong with me."

That scenario is very close to my own. I was in 7th Grade and the guys I jerked off could cum, while I couldn't even get hard. Although I already knew that I was a "Eunuch", it was only then that I began to understand what it meant to be one. I went from jerking them off to becoming the Fellator that I am today. Good memories.

[sftineun]

"During about grade 8 to 10, just as all the boys in this Catholic all-boys school, we started a game of groping each other, and my classmates would often asked why I was always so hard. While they took the game as harassing each other, evidently, I was getting sexually excited by touching other boys' crouches. I can't remember finding any boy getting hard. That made me wonder why I was the only kid getting hard, and whether there was something wrong with me."

That scenario is very close to my own. I was in 7th Grade and the guys I jerked off could cum, while I couldn't even get hard. Although I already knew that I was a "Eunuch", it was only then that I began to understand what it meant to be one. I went from jerking them off to becoming the Fellator that I am today. Good memories.

Thanks for sharing your experience. If you don't mind, I was a bit curious about your level of eunuchdom.

Do you still have libido to want to give head? Have you found ways to get yourself to climax even you stayed soft?

For the 10 years or so between becoming chemically castrated in 2009 and before starting TRT, I really lost my libido. I did not have any wish to engage with another person sexually. At that time, I was working in Thailand. I developed attraction to and connection with guys who just started MTF transitioning with hormones. I enjoyed cuddling and having another warm body next to me. Over time, I figured out how to get myself to climax while mostly soft (it expanded in size but remained very soft).

[TheRagingEunuch]

"Thanks for sharing your experience. If you don't mind, I was a bit curious about your level of eunuchdom."


Thank you for your interest, but I think it can be best explained by me re-posting something I had said earlier on EA.

"To put it simply, am I the only Cocksuckin' Eunuch in this joint? When I first started giving Blowjobs I was 13 and really wasn't sure why the heck I was attracted to it. Our family physician gave me various reasons, but thought the two most probable was that it was hereditary, or simply because I was a Eunuch. After doing a little research, I'm convinced that the latter was the probable cause. With that in mind and the fact that this IS a Eunuch Group, I'm fairly certain there must be others here like myself. If so, please stand up (or kneel) and be counted. Thanks!"