Decision Made & Going For It!

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks so very much for your thoughts and concerns. I do appreciate them and they went a long way in helping me feel better about the whole thing.

I feel I just need some time to distance myself from the whole mess and I was doing pretty good at it until that damn bill brought back all those nasty feelings from 4 weeks ago. Told the spouse last night that the bill is something she's going to have to deal with....I just can't do it.....it's just too darn painful. :-\

It also helps that I have now basically transitioned, full time, on the weekends and that does make me feel a lot better being myself, as I am today. Went last night for a manicure and pedicure which also made me feel better too....couldn't hurt, right?

I've just got to suck it up and keep moving on...there is no other alternative.

The spouse and I also going out tonight to our favorite night club and I'm going to wear this new cute outfit I picked up. I can do that tonight because my new brown pumps showed up yesterday so I now have the shoes I needed to wear with the brown outfit. Brown, which is not exactly my favorite color, is the new "in" color this fall.

Going to have lunch with Terri today so that should be fun and helpful. We TG/girls do need to lean on each other occasional for some support. That's why its so nice to have friends!

Take care everyone and thanks again for "the good thoughts".

***************

P.S. Just got off the phone with my doctor from discussing the latest hormone test results and he's pushed me up to 6 Mg.'s a day of estrogen starting in two weeks. WOW, NOW THAT'S REALLY MADE ME FEEL BETTER!

[lilac (imported)]

Oh! Erica Ann, you look so great in that pic. Wow!! Now I really like what you wrote today. That sounds so much better sweetie. You look marvelous darling... *smiles* Have fun tonight you and your wife. Say hello to Terri for me please.

Love and hugs, Lilac

[mrt (imported)]

Hi!

It's been a good last few days. Between the Midwest E.A. meeting this past weekend, the progress and the effects of the H.R.T. on me, both mentally and physically and my second appointment with my Endocrinologist tonight.....it's been good.

Once again, I got a pretty through examination by him with all the normal things like blood pressure testing and blood samples for hormone testing. He has now increased my estrogen dosage to 5 Mg.'s a day, which is very exciting....at least to me. My breasts had already become pretty tender at 4 Mg.'s a day and are showing good signs of growth. I've achieved a solid and substantial "A" cup and I'm well on my way to filling that long sought after "B". I can't wait to see what 5 Mg.'s is going to do! The fat redistribution is also well under way and I can continue to see the effects that it's starting to take on my face.

The overall feeling of...how can I put this....um....general well being is about the best term I can come up with. It's wonderful just to be happy instead of all those other feelings that so well associated with GID.

OMG! It's almost like it's too good to be true. I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up and find out that it's all been a dream.

I know exactly how you feel! Although I'm kind of taking the journey in the other direction. Getting on enough HRT to be healthy is amazing. Feeling "male" or in your case "female" has to be amazingly powerful stuff. I know how getting a dose increase is a "Wow! Thats great" moment. I remember that I got bumped one too high and had to come down. I felt a little "cheated" but of course the Doctor was correct. My mood went from so dark and uncaring to happy and confident. My anxiety? Gone! Energy to spare and having my sexual "wiring" drive etc all return has been an amazing experience. Its so great to hear your feeling better. Good luck! BTW I like your new pix. Ahh... What was the old one? I never quite understood it.

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Thank you everyone for your compliments on the new avatar. I must be feeling better about myself! Never thought I'd be brave enough to post such a photo, but as I progress further into transition, I'm finding that my confidence is building with every passing day.

By the way, that photo was taken this past May, 5 months on HRT, 2 months post castration. No FFS, I would have to guess that's pretty obvious!

Had a great time out last night. Met a very classy TV by the name of Trish. It's a pity that all of us TG/Girls can't look like this person, as he has a very easy time passing based on his looks and build.

[Robby (imported)]

Erica Ann,

Good to see you are in better spirits. And that new Avatar, puts you out there girl. Well done!

You know, I just realized your first name initials are the same as the Archive; E.A. How about that...

[lindaleah (imported)]

No FFS you could have fooled me. You look Fabulous!!!!

LindaLeah

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Thanks Lindaleah. You are so very kind!

Having a great weekend so far. Went to Hunters last night....that's our favorite night club where we hang out. Met up with Sabrina, another TS girl we've met there several times. She's a great person and very interesting to talk to. She is the CFO of a major pharmaceutical company in the area and just a few years older than me.

Going shopping today with the spouse for a few things to wear on our upcoming trip to the Dunes in October. There's going to be a big weekend for us "Girls" in the middle of October and it's my understanding that's it pretty well attended. There were 70 girls there last year. Got to look my best you know!

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Hi Everyone,

If it's Tuesday night...it must be electrolysis night. Darn, this is one painful experience....I gotta tell you. Especially that last hair right along your lips....or that one that's in the corner of your nose that you can't really get at to shave properly without cutting off your nose. I wish there was some other way to get this job done. At least one that's a little less painful. And I still have many more hours to go! That Damn testostrone.....caused all that hair to grow on my face....Crap!

There is one bright spot to the day, that being that it's my first day on 6 Mg.'s of estrogen. If doesn't make me feel better, nothing will!

[kristoff]

Hi Everyone,

If it's Tuesday night...it must be electrolysis night. Darn, this is one painful experience....I gotta tell you. Especially that last hair right along your lips....or that one that's in the corner of your nose that you can't really get at to shave properly without cutting off your nose. I wish there was some other way to get this job done. At least one that's a little less painful. And I still have many more hours to go! That Damn testostrone.....caused all that hair to grow on my face....Crap!

There is one bright spot to the day, that being that it's my first day on 6 Mg.'s of estrogen. If doesn't make me feel better, nothing will!

Erica,

The accountant in me (and I wish there was another one.... oh never mind) wants to do an analysis of the cost of numerous electrolysis sessions vs. laser treatment. But, alas, I haven't undertaken it, because I am an eternal hairball everywhere but the top of my head, and really don't care about that. What are the cost factors here? Do you know? Are you girls better off doing the old facial electrocution, or letting Scottie and his Di-Lithium crystals have a run at you?

[mrt (imported)]

Hi Everyone,

If it's Tuesday night...it must be electrolysis night. Darn, this is one painful experience....I gotta tell you. Especially that last hair right along your lips....or that one that's in the corner of your nose that you can't really get at to shave properly without cutting off your nose. I wish there was some other way to get this job done. At least one that's a little less painful. And I still have many more hours to go! That Damn testostrone.....caused all that hair to grow on my face....Crap!

There is one bright spot to the day, that being that it's my first day on 6 Mg.'s of estrogen. If doesn't make me feel better, nothing will!

Why not buy one of the new Lasers that you use at home? The cost is pretty reasonable I think $125 new? The ability to do it at home anytime you like sounds very appealing. And no endless additional costs.

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Hi Guys,

I wish I could do laser treatments.....it would be quicker, easier and far less painful than electrolysis. The only problem being is that I'm not a real good candidate for laser hair removal. Allow me to explain.

From the research I've done and the questions I've asked I've come to find out that the way laser hair removal works is that the powerful intense light of the laser needs to travel down the hair shaft where it literally "cooks" or "boils" the hair follicle thereby damaging it so that it no longer can produce a hair. The darker the hair in color the better it transmits the intensity of the laser light.

Because of my age....and if you're that interested you can look up my profile and do the math....I have way too much gray in my beard. Probably about 75%. Gray is the worse color because it reflects too much of the laser's light.

Oh well, if I could only turn the clock back about 20 years or so. I'm sure that I'm not the only one that has that wish!

So, as you so nicely put it Krister, it's back to the weekly "facial electrocution" sessions. Thanks for the good thoughts anyway. :-\

As far as that accountant that's in you.....it's $65.00 a session and it's my best guess that it's probably going to take at least a 100 sessions or so to get the job done. Once again....it's pretty simple math.

[lindaleah (imported)]

Hello EricaAnn

Here's a thought! Maybe two TG's could get certified to do electrolysis and do each other. Don't know how much time or $ it would take?

LindaLeah

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Hi,

Sometimes it pays off to go out on a Saturday night!

The spouse and I went to our favorite night club this past Saturday evening. When we came through the door there was a woman by a table encouraging people to sign up for a raffle to win a free vacation so I asked the spouse to fill out an entry. Lo and behold the phone rang last night and GUESS WHO WON!

Eight day and seven nights all expenses paid trip to Florida, any time we want to go in the next 18 months.

Think I'm going to spend my birthday (late January) in Orlando this year or maybe Daytona Beach....haven't decided yet!

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Hi Everyone,

I'm in GREAT spirits tonight. Had a wonderful weekend with the spouse and met several new TG/girls with their support group. What a super group of girls!

And the best news is that I can finally fill out my "B" cup bra. OMG this is GREAT! Got the bra a while back...wishful thinking a couple of months ago anyways, I haven't tried it on for at least 2 months and while I could do a half way decent job of filling it then...alas...it was too big, BUT NOT ANYMORE! I always wanted to achieve a "B" cup. That was my dream when I first began HRT...and I made it....WOW!

The course my endo has set seems to be heading in the right direction and I'm very pleased with the results I've been seeing since I've been under his care. Darn good doctor!

[bryan (imported)]

Erica,

Hearty congratulations on your recent achievements:

1. B cup.

2. Free week-long Florida vacation.

WOO-HOO!

Hmmm...which are you happier about? (Rhetorical -- no need to answer. We KNOW the answer!)

I'm jealous of one of your achievements. Won't tell you which, but remember I moved AWAY from Florida,

Terri

[kristoff]

Erica,

Hearty congratulations on your recent achievements:

1. B cup.

2. Free week-long Florida vacation.

WOO-HOO!

Hmmm...which are you happier about? (Rhetorical -- no need to answer. We KNOW the answer!)

I'm jealous of one of your achievements. Won't tell you which, but remember I moved AWAY from Florida,

Terri

Moved AWAY from Florida? Well - humidity - understandable (does get uncomfortable within the confines of a bra or speedo or whatever... But it gets miserably humid in MN, too. OTOH, I am on my way to Tex's Ass (oops, Texas)(work), and Mexico (fun) on Thursday for a few days (at least it is "winter" down there...) Prolly FLA in December or January (working trip, unfortunately, likely some fun TOO). I'll definitely think of ya'll (all ya'all) when there.... In any event, congratulations on achieving another "milestone." I am aiming for a trip to your area soon, as well (maybe work will oblige....); hopefully a meet up, too.

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Had an absolutely fabulous time this past weekend. I took Friday off and the spouse and I spent the weekend attending the big TG gathering at the Michigan Dunes. There had to be at least 100 TG and TV girls there from Ohio, Indiana, Michigan and Illinois.

Met 3 wonderful girls that are truly TS, like myself. Tamara, Darcy and Thora are three great fun loving people.

Partied the nights away, went sight seeing around Saugatuck, did a little shopping in some of the quaint little stores and in general...had a great time. I even had the opportunity to talk to a girl that's had SRS about a year ago. Interesting, very interesting!

But the nicest thing of all was just getting to be me...myself...Erica for three wonderful days. God, it was hard to go back into "male mode" in order to go to work this morning, but that's the way it is...for the time being.

It's also been 8 weeks since I came out to my family and needless to say, I haven't heard from any of them. I even sent Mom a card for her birthday last week. I got it back in the mail today with a note inside.

You must have sent this card to the wrong person. I don't have a daughter.

Oh well, so be it. I would have to imagine that the next time I see her it will probably be at her wake some day, but that's her choice, not mine. :-\ It's so hard to see a family broken up by ignorance, prejudice and bigotry.

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

I'm sorry that your family is reacting so negatively. They are going to miss out on all the exciting things that are going to happen in your life. --FLO--

[lilac (imported)]

Hi Erica, I am so glad you had such a wonderful time at the Meet. Sounds like you met some great new friends. Btw... *Tamera* is my name on one of the other chats I use, love that name. Erica, I am also sorry to hear the negative responce from your family members. I know it hurts, But you have to be who you are, and that is Erica Ann. "New Woman on the block". hugs and love, Lilac

[plix (imported)]

I am so sorry for the way your family is reacting to your true self - mine reacted pretty much the same way (although not as extreme) when I told them.

But I am sure you realize you have a family here who will always love and accept you, and it seems like you are having a great time nonetheless!

[Riverwind (imported)]

EricaAnn,

You hang in there, I think most of us have felt that way going through our transistions. As you already know you have lots of friends in here, and many of us you have even met in person.

The best thing I can tell you is handle what you can and throw the rest out.

Love your new avatar, Go Girl.

River

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Hi Everyone,

Thank you all for your support and encouragement. I do appreciate it!

I know that through this web site community I have made many new and wonderful friends and have even had the privilege of meeting some of you. That in itself is a rewarding experience. I even feel that I know many of you that I have not met in person....just through the expression of your thoughts, feelings and experiences in your posts. That's one of the reasons that I make it a point to visit here on a daily basis....just to keep in touch with all of you.

GID is a very difficult thing to grasp for many people and it's not something that is easily explained. It's not like pointing to something on an x-ray and saying....oh yes...here's the problem right here. I have lost not only my Mother, Father and brother over this matter, but many friends as well. But what I am finding is that I am beginning to replace those people in my life that only knew my "male persona" the false front that I have worn most of my life with people that only know only the real me...Erica Ann. It is such a relief to finally be me and as lilac so nicely put it "the new women on the block".

Erica Ann has been a passenger on this life long ride far too long and she's finally getting her turn at driving and what a drive it is!

[lilac (imported)]

*Big smiles*

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Hi Everyone,

Had another wonderful weekend, Geez, do I live for the weekends. Went to the big anniversary party at Hunter's on Saturday night. Free drinks for two hours. You can't imagine how crowded the place was!

Ended the weekend by attending church services with Terri and having a quick bite to eat after wards.

Really looking forward to the coming weekend when Tamara comes into town and the big Halloween gala for the local TG community. The spouse is going as a 50's sock hop girls. I picked up a low cut top and a mini skirt over the weekend for the occasion. I'm going as a "slut". Should be a lot of fun.

Nine weeks now and no word from the family. I think I'm going to stop counting. It's just too sad. I have to move on with my life, with or without them. Just think of all the fun they're going to miss!

[kristoff]

Hi Everyone,

Had another wonderful weekend, Geez, do I live for the weekends. Went to the big anniversary party at Hunter's on Saturday night. Free drinks for two hours. You can't imagine how crowded the place was!

Ended the weekend by attending church services with Terri and having a quick bite to eat after wards.

Really looking forward to the coming weekend when Tamara comes into town and the big Halloween gala for the local TG community. The spouse is going as a 50's sock hop girls. I picked up a low cut top and a mini skirt over the weekend for the occasion. I'm going as a "slut". Should be a lot of fun.

Nine weeks now and no word from the family. I think I'm going to stop counting. It's just too sad. I have to move on with my life, with or without them. Just think of all the fun they're going to miss!

Perhaps get some personalized photo Christmas cards made. Send them one at that time with a nice happy contented message wishing them well. See what happens. By that time they should have had enough time to reconsider and get off their horses - it IS a long way down, you know.