Eunuch

[Gelding]

Thanks again for the replies. I'll see how I will deal with the situation.

[wanasoso2]

Welcome gelding to the archives.
Your situation is complex as many other, especially when desire of castration appended in a younger age. Before family time and so on. Your first comment touch me and I catch the "gender" problem you mention at the end. I would advice like other to take time to define what is your feeling about your gender. It is not a simple puzzle. All the pieces doesn't fit easily together. As you mention, "feeling and doing like man"; the social pressure is extreme on human behavior and it's not easy to understand what we is the real self. Being in between male and female is more frequent than on may think but this does not simplify the equation. I think that you should take time to define who you really are, your gender fluidity and so on. The help of a therapist with experience in gender expression an feeling is important.
For myself I'm in a kind of partial castration feeling with chastity cage, (while writing I wore my holly trainer, actually made in Swizerland, funny) But I can understand that it not the way to go at younger age with all the hard spontaneous erection every day. At my age around the seventies it's another story.

[Castor]

Firstly, I would advise you to take your time and consider whether you are ready to be physically castrated. Think about what the castration is actually supposed to improve. For example, if you primarily want to reduce your sexual drive, a test run with chemical castration makes perfect sense - there are drugs other than Androcur that have comparatively few side effects.

However, if hormonal change is not your main goal, but primarily physical change, chemical castration won't help you. In my view, you must then rule out the possibility that castration is a fetish for you (a turn on). Is the thought of castration permanent or only intermittent? When is the thought strongest, when does it occur? Maybe it's both: Hormonal and physical changes?

Once you have researched this and are sure that it is the right decision, there are a number of ways in Europe to get castrated completely legally. As a rule, however, a psychological assessment is required to show the surgeon that there is a medical indication. In my experience, the trick is to find a psychologist who is familiar with the subject. If you need advice here, just get in touch.

-Castor

[Gelding]

Welcome gelding to the archives.
Your situation is complex as many other, especially when desire of castration appended in a younger age.[...] The help of a therapist with experience in gender expression an feeling is important.
For myself I'm in a kind of partial castration feeling with chastity cage, (while writing I wore my holly trainer, actually made in Swizerland, funny) But I can understand that it not the way to go at younger age with all the hard spontaneous erection every day. At my age around the seventies it's another story.

Thanks. Yes a gender therapist will help or at least if they can't help will give me a recommandation letter. Yeah, during the day its okay but at night the erections are very strong!
You feel like castration desires (or at least the decision to do so) usually appear later in life?

Firstly, I would advise you to take your time and consider whether you are ready to be physically castrated. Think about what the castration is actually supposed to improve. For example, if you primarily want to reduce your sexual drive, a test run with chemical castration makes perfect sense - there are drugs other than Androcur that have comparatively few side effects.

However, if hormonal change is not your main goal, but primarily physical change, chemical castration won't help you. In my view, you must then rule out the possibility that castration is a fetish for you (a turn on). Is the thought of castration permanent or only intermittent? When is the thought strongest, when does it occur? Maybe it's both: Hormonal and physical changes?

Once you have researched this and are sure that it is the right decision, there are a number of ways in Europe to get castrated completely legally. As a rule, however, a psychological assessment is required to show the surgeon that there is a medical indication. In my experience, the trick is to find a psychologist who is familiar with the subject. If you need advice here, just get in touch.

A chemical castration trial of a least 12 months is in my opinion really important. Preventing my body from having male functionning sexual organs, reducing libido and being in a castrated state are my main objectives. That way my body isn't fully male anymore. Orchiectomy is more cosmetic, because I don't "hate" my testicles but its more how I imagine my genderless state. I'm okay with my penis so I'll definetly keep it.
From my understanding depending on the products used I'll loose my libido in 1-3 months and my sexual organs may start shrinking after 6 months. So to try the desired effects I need to try for a couple of months. I need more research to find how long it takes for side effects to appear.

I have a very stupid theory on castration as a fetish. Let's say I am wrong on my motivation and that is the case. Then either the therapist that does the recommondation letter will find out, either it will disappear after 1-3 months of chemical castration and generate sufficient regret to stop treatment when there are no permanent effects (like under 6 months). I hardly imagine a castration fetish that would be so strong that it would survive chemical castration and procure pleasure from said castrated state.
I have had moments during which I thought less about castration that is true. Having a life in which I am very occupied with very little free time is generally effective at reducing castration thoughts tbh. There where other time where I tried to give up on the idea because I assumed no doc would agree. Still, I sometimes looked at over ways to reach castration like looking if I could grab some readily available animal products that are meant for males... So its not a very linear story but once the idea was there it never went away.
Castration thoughts are more likely to occur if I'm naked (shower, sex). Does it means thats a fetish? Idk, its not my main masturbation thought.

Generally speaking if I could get chemical castration products tomorrow I would take them. The only fear I have is potential future partners and how they could not accept my choice and reject me. I am more attracted by females than males. I have mainly had relations with heterosexual females and I fear they wouldn't like going out with a castrated men (I am sure some women do but I reckon those are more the dominant types which I am not into). Just add to this my issue with freezing sperm but maybe that's an easier problem to solve as I could ask a doc if most women accept insemination or not. If they say thats generally not a problem maybe I won't feel as bad about it as I currently do.

[WheelyFixed]

<snip>
On the topic of surgery I should tell something. I am not against having childrens. I know I can save sperm saved in a bank (which I will do) but from what I understand this would force my future partner to get inseminated and I would feel bad for indirectly forcing her to go through that. I don't know after how long of chemical castration testiscules won't produce sperm anymore. Any ideas? Have any other eunuch have that parental project / eunuch lifestyle dilemma? I've read some getting castration after getting childrens.

I missed this earlier- Banking sperm is a wise idea if you think there is even the slightest chance you might want to have children preferably before doing any sort of chemical castration, even for a short trial... But having banked sperm puts any future partner under absolutely no more obligation to get inseminated than she would be if you were an intact male... That you have it, doesn't mean you have to use it. (given that it would be a limited supply, your partner might need to do more elaborate medical procedures to ensure pregnancy than just boinking regularly, but that's a separate issue) Sperm banking is simply covering your options.

It is also not the only option - there is also the possibility of donated sperm, either from a relative or a bank. I know many members here have had children before getting castrated, (whether or not to tell them has been an occasional topic of discussion)

I'm not sure on how fast sperm production stops with chemicals, it probably depends somewhat on the dosage and the actual drug, but my understanding is that it is pretty fast. I'd assume a time curve like that of a vasectomy or surgical castration plus a week or two to be safe. (remember that even if your production stops, it still takes a few weeks to get rid of what has already been made and still passing through the plumbing...)

I've read there are specific side effects to anti-androgens like androcur and preferably I would like to avoid those. Correct me if I'm wrong but I would prefer GnRHa because it's injected, it has less side effects (only low T effects) and I could try have a bit of HRT to avoid hypogonadism side effects if I judge they are too strong on me (could you take T with anti-adrogens?).

My experience with Lupron was pretty free from side effects to the point where I initially thought It wasn't working until I got a T-level which was below the test's detection limits.

I've read a few times the SoC 8 and its quite hard to really understand when they recommand castration and when they don't. There seems to be an "if they ask for it you're better of doing it". On the other hand I feel like I am not legitimate because I've managed it until now as a male. I haven't had severe depression because of this. I just fear that they'll tell me the side effects of my life as it is won't be as bad as potential consequences from castration.

This is why we are so strongly suggesting that you find an appropriate therapist because you are not sure.... The SOCv8 will never recommend castration as such, they are more concerned about when it is recommended against. The basic idea is what sort of procedures they want to see a patient go through in order to be as close to absolutely certain that they are certain its' the right choice for them if they are going to get castrated. That you have "managed as a male" is not a reason to feel that your desire is less legitimate. A competent therapist will never tell you no because the side effects of living intact would be less severe than getting fixed. What they WILL try to do is help you reach a decision as to which option is less bad...

[WheelyFixed]

...
Thanks. Yes a gender therapist will help or at least if they can't help will give me a recommandation letter. Yeah, during the day its okay but at night the erections are very strong!
You feel like castration desires (or at least the decision to do so) usually appear later in life?

Actually the they often show up very early on, even if one doesn't get castrated until far later in life. One of the many studies that was done using surveys of EAv2 members had a question about if one had a time machine and could go back and get fixed at any time, what age would be chosen... Most members had been around 50 when they were actually castrated, but the average age for the time machine users was 12.7.... I know that some sort of genital modification was a major recurring theme of my fantasies from the earliest age I can remember... So no definite answer about when desires appear.

A chemical castration trial of a least 12 months is in my opinion really important. Preventing my body from having male functionning sexual organs, reducing libido and being in a castrated state are my main objectives. That way my body isn't fully male anymore. Orchiectomy is more cosmetic, because I don't "hate" my testicles but its more how I imagine my genderless state. I'm okay with my penis so I'll definetly keep it.
From my understanding depending on the products used I'll loose my libido in 1-3 months and my sexual organs may start shrinking after 6 months. So to try the desired effects I need to try for a couple of months. I need more research to find how long it takes for side effects to appear.

I have a very stupid theory on castration as a fetish. Let's say I am wrong on my motivation and that is the case. Then either the therapist that does the recommondation letter will find out, either it will disappear after 1-3 months of chemical castration and generate sufficient regret to stop treatment when there are no permanent effects (like under 6 months). I hardly imagine a castration fetish that would be so strong that it would survive chemical castration and procure pleasure from said castrated state.
I have had moments during which I thought less about castration that is true. Having a life in which I am very occupied with very little free time is generally effective at reducing castration thoughts tbh. There where other time where I tried to give up on the idea because I assumed no doc would agree. Still, I sometimes looked at over ways to reach castration like looking if I could grab some readily available animal products that are meant for males... So its not a very linear story but once the idea was there it never went away.
Castration thoughts are more likely to occur if I'm naked (shower, sex). Does it means thats a fetish? Idk, its not my main masturbation thought.

Generally speaking if I could get chemical castration products tomorrow I would take them. The only fear I have is potential future partners and how they could not accept my choice and reject me. I am more attracted by females than males. I have mainly had relations with heterosexual females and I fear they wouldn't like going out with a castrated men (I am sure some women do but I reckon those are more the dominant types which I am not into). Just add to this my issue with freezing sperm but maybe that's an easier problem to solve as I could ask a doc if most women accept insemination or not. If they say thats generally not a problem maybe I won't feel as bad about it as I currently do.

I have two questions I often ask new members that are trying to tell the difference, between 'real' and 'fetish' desires... Usually when they either say so, or if their intro posts make me wonder which they have... They seem helpful to sort out some of the confusion, but are not absolute deciders...

1. Do your fantasies and thoughts focus only on the ACT of castration, or do they include living as a eunuch afterwards, and / or things leading up to the decision?

2. Do you have strong feelings about wanting to be castrated in a particular way, or by a particular sort of person, or in a given scenario? Or are you just as OK with the more realistic medical scenario of going through the same sort of prep as you would for a colonoscopy or other minor outpatient medical procedure, getting rolled into the operating room and being put to sleep, then waking up a little while later and going home without a few bits....

The way you mention the thoughts coming and going, depending on how busy you were and so on is pretty normal, I'm not making any diagnosis, but I'm not seeing anything in your posts so far that make me think you aren't serious and legitimate in wanting to at least consider the question.

WheelyFixed

[Castor]

To me, what you describe doesn't sound like a fetish, but very serious. Furthermore, I think you're right: Chemical castration will bring this to light. In my experience, it's best to put yourself in the doctor's shoes to realise your wish for castration: The surgeon doesn't want to take responsibility for the operation. He shifts the responsibility onto the psychologist. The psychologist will try to find out whether you have seriously thought about it. He will only authorise castration if he is convinced that the after is better for you than the before. In order to prepare yourself well, I think it's important that you think about the before and after.

If you are castrated and go to a doctor who specialises in hormone treatment, preferably an andrologist or endocrinologist, you need to be able to explain to them what you want in terms of hormone treatment. You can't expect these people to be familiar with voluntary castration. In my experience, these doctors will only think of prescribing you as much testosterone as the textbooks say for your age. However, if your primarily goal is to lose your sexual feelings, one strategy could be to take no testosterone, for example, or only enough to keep you below the sexual threshold that is tolerable for you.

I wouldn't worry about potential future partners. If they really love you, the lack of testicles between your legs shouldn't be a reason to reject you. On the subject of freezing sperm, I can only agree with Wheely that you should definitely consider this. Artificial insemination is no longer a problem these days, otherwise castration has the advantage that you no longer need contraception. If I were you, I would concentrate more on getting you into balance than worrying about what others might think about a physical change.

-Castor