Transitioning at work and in all of my life

[Danya (imported)]

That sounds exciting if breast development happened to me

Hey drew28,

Breast development is an exciting part of transitioning. So far, I have had no volunteers to suckle on them.

Maybe I hang out at work too much!

Best wishes,

Danya

[Danya (imported)]

I'll join the choir in singing our praises for you and your continued success. I think it all seems like the pieces are fitting so perfectly into place that its just amazing... And must be an 11 (on the 1 to 10 scale) for personal relief for you.

Hi MrT,

This is likely to be a long response as I am feeling VERY emotional, in a good way, this evening.

So many people on the Archive have been very supportive whether it has been encouraging words, compliments, requests for information (that make me feel I can offer something to someone else) or even an occasional boost to my self-confidence. In the several weeks before I transitioned, I needed critical, confidence-building support that was offered by a number of people here. Since transitioning, my self-confidence has remained high with only very minor perturbations.

In early May, I was like 'Oh My Gawd - what am I doing?'. It was the magnitude of the change that initially had me a little spooked. Many, although certainly not all, people about to embark on the adventure of transition have some last minute doubts. Several people here, including you MrT, Kristoff, Erica Ann and Jesus among others, were there for me during this time. Others have played a part in easing my way before I transitioned. I hesitate to list any because I will likely leave some out. So please forgive me if I have left someone out of this additional list: talula, River, tugon, plix, tanglog. I know there are others but I would have to search through so many wonderfully supportive posts to find them all. Sometime I want to do that.

That support made a huge difference. By the time my big day at work came around on May 19, I was totally calm.

The day I really transitioned to living full-time as a woman was several days before I appeared at work as myself. On Friday, May 16, I gently let go of my male self. I think that's how I phrased it in an earlier post . Anyway, I had the day off from work and did a number of fun things as a woman for all the world to see. The feeling of freedom on that day, May 16, and relief was almost overwhelming. That is also when I first felt "at last, I know I fit in, I know who I am and life is so very good". This was one of the most profound moments of my life. To feel I belonged after a lifetime of feeling apart.

A week before that, on Friday May 9, a company-wide email was sent announcing what I would be doing. It also unambiguously stated the full backing and support of upper management. There were also resources provided, by me, included to educate people. The following week, mandatory training was held for people in my division. I doubt many at my company needed it. A repeat of the training session was held later, for others outside my division who wanted to attend. From what I hear, it was packed.

Early Friday afternoon, May 9, before the announcement was made I was in the office. My initial plan was to be at home when the announcement was made. In fact, the initial plan was not to make the announcement until Monday, May 11. It was only at the last minute I was told of the date switch. I could have insisted it be postponed but decided to let it fly on Friday.

Now I am overwhelmed with emotions over the next part - I am crying, I admit it! - this is part of what estrogen does. I spoke with Jesus (our Jesus on the Archive) to get his advice on whether to leave the office or stay when the company-wide email went out

to hundreds of employees in several states.

MANY of whom know me.

I rather lamely said to Jesus, 'but I've never done anything like this before'. His response was something like 'you're never likely to again either!'. To which I replied, 'yeah, for my next act I will change into an orangutan.' He suggested I remain in the office and see how people would respond to the announcement. I could always duck out if things were uncomfortable.

So I stayed and I am glad I did. I got nearly 40 emails of support that day, after the late afternoon announcement. Of course, I was in tears again after reading and responding to every single one of those heartfelt messages. A few told stories of TG people in their own lives. One or two of those stories were heart-wrenching.

Nearly everything that has happened since I transitioned has been very positive. I am so fortunate and I am very thankful not only that I am doing well but that I have the continuing friendship of many here, on the Archive. As an added bonus, I am making terrific new friends on the Archive and in the non-virtual world. This place, the Archive, is a very supportive place for many. Others have said this, too. We can all thank the volunteers who keep this site going.

Just yesterday, two coworkers stopped me in the hall. I have known one, in passing and for short conversations, for years. I said 'hi' to him a number of times since May 19. It was only yesterday he recognized who I am! He, the young woman with him and I had a great conversation of 10 - 15 minutes. Like others, they commented on how well I am doing. The woman recently had breast cancer and a mastectomy. She is fine but she has certainly had a lot on her mind. She recounted the story of the birth of her child. When she and her husband were lovingly holding their newborn, a nurse came up to them and asked what the child's gender was. This sweet woman wanted to point out to me that they didn't care what their child's gender was. They hadn't even considered that until the nurse asked. They were loving their child simply for being itself, whatever its gender. She told me she felt I was in a similar situation and I should be loved just for who I am. Their child was a girl, btw.

I can't write anymore on this now because, of course, I am in tears again. I am still blown away by the fact that I have arrived at my real life, the real me.

Hugs to everyone,

Danya

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Hi Danya,

As we have discussed in the past, GRS or SRS, is the finishing touch or the "icing on the cake" in our journey.

At first I thought is was the be all the end all, the most important thing. What I came to find was that going full time, living your life every day 24/7 as your real self and finally being acknowledged and accepted as the person you really are was by far and away the most important part of the transition process.

The GRS procedure will be the final completion, the last step of the project we have both have imparted on.

Keep going, it only get better from here.

[Danya (imported)]

What I came to find was that going full time, living your life every day 24/7 as your real self and finally being acknowledged and accepted as the person you really are was by far and away the most important part of the transition process.

The GRS procedure will be the final completion, the last step of the project we have both have imparted on.

Keep going, it only get better from here.

Hi Erica Ann,

Over the last several weeks, it has been clear to me that many, and maybe most, people who know me are at last truly accepting me as a woman. There had to be an initial period of adjustment for coworkers and friends. It seems many have moved beyond that and now simply take me for who I am, a woman. This has allowed me to feel even more relaxed about my transition. I agree, living 24/7 as a woman and being accepted as one, besides, are the most important parts of transitioning.

Thanks, as always, for the words of encouragement.

Hugs,

Danya

[mrt (imported)]

I've pondered the positive nature of the Archive. When you made the statement "Oh my God what am I doing" It dawned on me that a fair number of men on this site probably said the same things to themselves before they had their Orchiectomy. For as much as some embrace it and others resist it the nature of it is probably way up there on the list of things that men don't really do in great numbers. Anyway maybe partly because of that there is a bit more open minded thought to what others go through even if SRS is a bit more complicated then an orchiectomy (Surgery wise) and a ton more complicated when it involves changing that letter on the Gender part of the Drivers license. Anyway, I'm truly pleased that things ARE going well for you and Erica Ann. It gives me hope that our society is a little less dense.

But then I watch cartoons with my kid and see a whole show devoted to Sponge Bob trying to (re)learn how to tie his shoes.... SIGH

[Danya (imported)]

This is one of the most difficult weekends I have had in months. I will keep this post relatively short, though, and not go into all the boring details. Writing this as a list will help me stick with that intention.

1. I am still have breathing problems from asthma so I feel tired and grumpy. Rainy weather this weekend only makes it worse. Today, I found myself rather fondly remembering very cold, dry winter days. I want my life back where I can be active outside without fear of aggravating my breathing difficulties.

2. I continue to feel stressed from a too heavy work load at the office. People at the office familiar with what I do know I cannot keep up with everything that needs to be done. We will likely hire someone to help. In the meantime, I feel angry that work is keeping me from socializing, which I desperately want to do. The old 'male' person I was would not have cared much. I wasn't being myself then, though, so I was not nearly as comfortable around people.

Of course, I am thankful that I have a job at all. I am even more fortunate that my working environment is terrific.

3. As I write, I am watching "P.S., I love you (http://psiloveyoumovie.warnerbros.com/)" starring Hillary Swank. Chick-flick movies like this have always appealed to me. Even when I was married, I would sob at many movies as my ex-wife sat by me. Tonight I have been crying quite a bit as I watch this film.

4. Over the last few weeks, I have developed an interest in returning to the east coast city where I was born. I want to see the house my parents brought me to from the hospital where I was born. I am feeling sad over the loss of my parents. Then there is the likely loss of my brothers, though not by death. I can live with these losses, accept them and still thrive. I have been thriving. There is still grief there, though, and I cried today over that. This distress results from the realization that I lack a family in a real sense, rather than from the loss of people who cannot accept me for who I am. I will certainly regain my emotional equilibrium in this area.

5. In general, I am crying a lot today. I would like to have love in my life. Whether or not there is physical intimacy is in a way irrelevant. I miss having someone close that I can urge to run and look at a sunset with me, or a rainbow or a blossom lit just perfectly by a sun low in the sky.

[Danya (imported)]

This is one of the most difficult weekends I have had in months.

Yesterday, I did feel this was shaping up to be a very difficult weekend. Today, I have an entirely different outlook. This is consistent with my general sense of well-being since I transitioned and my new-found tendency to refuse to be in a bad mood for long.

September 19 will mark four months since my transition day at work. Since then, I have experienced a nearly non-stop high because things have gone so well and I have felt truly

[quote="Danya (imported)" time=1213

332120]
happy for the first time in my life. I
[/quote]
enjoy near total acceptance, and often outright support, from coworkers and friends both at church and elsewhere.

It seemed like this 'gender euphoria' would go on forever. I knew it couldn't possibly, though, and soon enough my emotions would return to a more sustainable intensity.

Starting about a week ago, I started to feel I am entering a new stage in my transition. It may be that, at last, my euphoria over transitioning has lessened and this is not at all a bad thing. I don't think it will ever leave me entirely.

I full

y expect, then, to remain happy and cont

ent that I am becoming who I was always meant to be. With my emotions on a more even keel, however, I have more freedom to pursue a balanced life. Many transsexuals tend to be focused on the changes they are experiencing and how to achieve their goals. This seems very natural to me because such huge physical and emotional changes are involved. I have been this way and that is likely to continue but with less urgency. I have an inkling that transitioning is becoming a less central, although still very important, piece of my life.

In part, the idea of transitioning and becoming a woman as a process has been replaced with the belief that I have transitioned and I am truly a woman. I am now totally comfortable with my new name. It is who I am. I interact socially as a woman with ease and without effort.

All of this is very good and, indeed, may put me in a better position to achieve my transition goals (e.g., GRS). For the first time in months, I feel I have enough energy to effectively pursue a second source of income. I have mentioned doing this before but somehow I was always too preoccupied with how wonderful transitioning is to do anything about it.

I was also spending much of my free time reading the experiences of TS woman, their transitions, their family relations and so on. Now I have little desire to read any more because I am now an expert in these areas myself. Instead of reading about others' life experiences, I want to live my life out in the world and learn more about myself through socializing and having fun. Along the way, perhaps I can help others, too.

[Danya (imported)]

My lesbian pal 'J' left me a phone message last night. I wasn't home and she wanted me to turn on the TV to see a certain female interviewer. This woman works for one of the national networks. J's comment was that when she saw the interviewer she immediately thought the woman looked like me!

I got home too late to see the show. Today, I found some pictures of said interviewer on the net. I don't watch much TV so I had never heard of the woman. Turns out she is about my age and pretty darn attractive.

What was especially nice about J's comment was that she did not say 'you look like the interviewer'. That would have been fine but I could have interpreted that type of comparison to mean 'You do pretty well for a former man dressing as a woman'. I view 'the interviewer looked like you' as a much more positive and powerful statement of affirmation of my identity as a woman.

[Danya (imported)]

Today was a bit bizarre. I worked from home so I could let a guy in to fix my broken garage door. UPS was also scheduled to deliver the repaired Nikon camera lens that I had so carelessly dropped on the kitchen floor months ago. Then there was the oil and filter change for my car.

None of the people involved has ever seen me as 'my true self', which really isn't an issue for me. I anticipated a problem with needing to show ID to the UPS person before he/she would hand over then lens. I had some problem convincing UPS a few months ago when I went to pick up a package. They wanted a photo ID. I was dressed as myself and they at first would not believe I was the person on my driver license photo (the male dude I used to identify with ). After a five minute discussion, they were finally convinced. My gender therapist understands the need to very occasionally dress as my former 'male' self because of the identification problem. Once my name change is legal I shouldn't have to ever do that again.

As for the garage repair, whether I paid by check or credit card the name shown would be my former male one. Same thing goes for the oil change. I did not want a big hassle over this which could have happened. Even some people at my office still do not realize this woman they see wandering about is anything more than a new employee, rather than their transitioning coworker.

I found it very stressful to dress as a man for much of the day and I hope to never have to do that again. I really dislike being perceived by others as male. By 5 PM, I was feeling uptight and just not right. So I got dressed as 'me' for the first time today. When I looked in the mirror, I thought to myself "Thank God, you are still there". It was so comforting to see myself dressed as the woman I am.

I rarely go out to dinner anymore so I can save money. Tonight I made an exception and felt so free going out as myself, in public. The chocolate martini I ordered first helped my relax even more. T

his coming Monday is my court date to have my name legally changed to my new female name. I can't wait! It will take some time to get everything changed over to me new name. Things like my Social Security Card, passport, driver's license, car title, credit cards, and bank accounts all have to be changed to show my new name. The list in the last sentence is by no means exhaustive, either.

All the work and hassle will be worth it. Having an official female name will be a psychological boost and powerful affirmation of who I am.

It may take months for me to update every important record but it will be worth it. Having a legally recognized female name is another important step in my transition.

[Danya (imported)]

There were a few days last weekend and into the beginning of the week when I thought I had lost the happiness I have felt

since I transitioned at work.

It seemed it was gone, for good, and I felt very upset about it. Silly me, this has happened once or twice before and my very positive emotions always returned. Just as they did this week. I just had to wise up and cut back on some of the many extra hours I have been putting in at work for weeks. I wasn't feeling happy because I was burned out. I also wasn't having any fun.

Now I am trying to get in the habit of looking ahead and planning fun things to do. They don't have to cost a lot of money but allowing time for enjoying life has got to be a priority for me.

The second half of the work week went very well. I spent nearly a day-and-a-half at meetings for the newly formed diversity committee. Normally, I dislike committee meetings but this one was very different from most. Its scope is way beyond anything the company has ever done before in this area and it has the clear support of senior management, two of whom were active participants at the meeting. We had a nationally recognized trainer in, with 30 years experience, to help get us started.

Management considers the success of the diversity committee critical to corporate success. The demographics of the US are rapidly changing and the company has to change, too, if we want to continue to grow and prosper.

I volunteered to be on a subcommittee of three that will go out into the community to start the long process of building lasting connections with under represented groups in the metro area. I felt very energized to be a part of this process.

Yesterday (Friday, Sept 19) marked the 4-month anniversary of my work transition. A younger female coworker, an immigrant from Laos, spoke with me about my transition for the first time yesterday. We have known each other in passing for years. She works in a part of the building I don't frequent and we rarely see each other. She is very shy, besides. So I was surprised when she came up to my desk and told me how happy she is for me, how terrific (she actually used the word beautiful) I look and she gave me a hug.

Right after work Friday, I met several female coworkers at a local gay bar. We had a really good time. They even managed to talk me into a game of pool. I warned them that I have played a total of three times in my life. Their response was 'we all suck at pool, so it's fine!' The only ball I managed to get in a pocket was the black '8' ball. Of course, that meant my two-woman team lost. No one was bothered by this and it was a lot of fun.

When I got home, a neighbor from down the street was walking his dog in front of my place. The dog was small with white curly fur and quiet. The man, who obviously saw me as a woman, told me his dog always barks at men but gets along well with women. His dog did not bark at me and was friendly. When even a dog accepts me as a female, I know some good things must be going on!

On Wednesday, I walked from the office to the pharmacy to enjoy the beautiful weather. At the pharmacy, a woman I don't know stopped me to say how 'darling' my hair looks! I smiled and thanked her for her comment. I did not tell her that my 'hair' is a $14 wig! People generally agree, though, that it does look good.

Yesterday, a female coworker I work closely with commented on how I am still 'glowing' four months after transitioning.

The camera lens I broke a while back, when I dropped it on the kitchen floor, was returned to me this week fully repaired. This is my favorite lens, for outdoor photos at least. Today I will go to some of my favorite outdoor locales to get pictures. The exercise will be good and this is a lot of fun for me.

This Monday is my court date to legally change my entire name, last name included. I am very excited about this now. I bought a new outfit several weeks ago that I have been saving to wear Monday. It's a nice black dress with a white and black patterned jacket. I may also wear, for the first time, nice black shoes I bought several months ago. They have 3 1/2" heels with a base somewhat wider than stilettos. I have weak ankles but these shoes should be fine for me as long as I pay even the slightest attention to how I am walking. My height is 5' 9" so even with these shoes I'll only stretch to about six feet! The heels I usually wear are only 2 1/2" with an even wider base.

My name change is another step on my journey and an official recognition of who I am. I will be thrilled to have a new driver's license with my a new picture of the true me. I'll also be able to change the gender on my license to female.

At court, my boss and a coworker will take the risky step of testifying to my sanity in front of the judge. Afterwards, I will treat them to breakfast as a way of thanking them and to celebrate.

[Danya (imported)]

I have started work on a web site of my own that will be specific to the lives of TS people. I've thought about this for quite some time and I am excited about it. As soon as I have a credit card changed to my new name, I will purchase a domain and get things going. I've had a domain name chosen for the last month that is not yet taken.

The site will have a blog where I post my experiences, feelings, etc. Users who sign up will be able to respond and, perhaps, create their own blogs. I may eventually get some advertisers and I can highlight skills that people locally might use (and I'm not talking about anything illegal here ), increasing my income so I can raise the funds needed for SRS. There's an added benefit that an interested man may decide he wants to meet me. .

I mentioned this idea to my company's HR department several months ago and they thought it was a great idea. With their new initiative on increasing inclusiveness within and outside the company, they could point to my site as an example of their great support for someone who is very much in a minority group. As I learned at the Diversity committee meeting last week, though, I should not talk about a minority group but rather and under-represented one.

I will always post to the Archive, which I consider my home. I will continue to support the Archive with cash donations, too. My posts here will become less frequent, though, and shorter. The people here are terrific and this is the first place I felt comfortable being myself.

[punkypink (imported)]

Hey Danya. Your idea sounds really great. Hope to see the website up soon

[Danya (imported)]

Hey Danya. Your idea sounds really great. Hope to see the website up soon

Thanks for your input, Punkypink. Whatever the final design and content look like, I will have my own web site.

I will have to wait at least a few more days to reserve the domain name, though, because the judge at my court hearing Monday said they would mail me the official court document. She said budget cuts have left them short-handed, so they could not give it to me right after the trial which is what the state requires them to do. What this means is I will have to go back to the court house to get the court-certified copies of the court order required by my mortgage company and some other places.

This isn't a big hassle but I felt really disappointed at court to hear I wouldn't have 'proof' to show others at work. Nonetheless, several coworkers somehow heard of the change and congratulated me, which was very sweet.

My new name is now legal but it has no practical effect until I can get moving on changing bank and other records. The local Social Security Administration office will be the first place I visit. I need a card with my new name (it will retain the old number) for my employer, bank and some creditors.

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Hi Danya,

Congratulations on the official and legal name change. I know how excited you must be to finally have the right name, the one that fits your personality.

That's really too bad that you couldn't get the copies of the official name change decree that you will need to get the ball rolling with all of the things that will need to be changed. Nows the time to sit down and put together a list of everyone that will need to be notified. It can be quite a list.

[mrt (imported)]

I never thought about things like UPS and so on not trusting that your YOU! What a headache. I wonder if the one year real life "test" IS indeed a test. A test of how much silly stupid stuff you will put up with is my guess. I suppose this is kind of a Gender Bootcamp in a way.... Well HUGE CONGRATS on your name change. This is a big day... Now if I can only get MrsT to change HER name with SS.... SIGH.... How bad is that since you know how long we have been together?

Glad to hear your camera is back together! Photography is fun and I hope will be $$$ for you. Look forward to seeing you soon.

- T

[JesusA]

Congratulations on your name change. One more hurdle behind you (and many more to come). It's an important step in letting the world know who you really are.

I wish I could have been there to help you celebrate!

[Danya (imported)]

I really appreciate everyone's congratulations on my name change. This afternoon, I signed something semi-official with my new name and it seemed entirely natural. For a while now, I have felt very much at home with my new name.

Monday at court, I had to state my former legal name to the judge. This was the first time in years that I have referred to myself by my legal first name, always having gone by another name. It felt very strange!

So it is really good to have my new name officially recognized. I can't wait to get my first checks with my new name printed on the top.

[Danya (imported)]

I foolishly thought I would be exempt from any weight gain as a result of estrogen treatment. Until a few weeks ago, my weight has held steady. Now I am up five pounds! I know this doesn't sound like much but it does make a difference in how comfortable I am in some of my clothes.

This situation will never do. I am starting to eat smarter with healthier foods in less quantity. I am finding this difficult because I feel hungry all the time. For these hungry times between meals, I will try eating healthy, fairly low calorie foods like apples. Today I wimped out and went for some chocolate-covered pretzels. At least it was dark chocolate, the healthier kind. Really, now, dark chocolate is practically a health food!

As soon as I finish writing this (maybe I can make this REALLY long! ), I'll hop on the exercise bike for 45 minutes or so. I really do need to increase my exercise. It will help reduce the stress I feel from work and help control my weight.

[Danya (imported)]

I will be attending a party this weekend and really want to wear this 'little black dress' I have been saving for a special occasion. With the mere five pounds of weight I have gained, though, I'd have to walk around the party holding in my stomach the whole time. Otherwise I would certainly look like I'm about 5 months pregnant!

This afternoon, I stopped at Macy's and picked up what used to be called a girdle. What I purchased is euphemistically called a Miraclesuit. The advertising claims that the wearer will look like she's lost ten pounds in 10 seconds. I was doubtful of this claim but desperate. Anyway, the 'miracle' was on sale.

So I bought the thing. I just tried it on and it works! It's even fairly comfortable. Of course, the long term solution is to lose weight, eat better and exercise. I have started working on all three of those but I needed a temporary solution for the weekend's party. I found it!

My gender therapist said I should wear something 'revealing'. Things have been growing in that area but I still don't have much to reveal. Not yet, anyway. I have high hopes for major developments down the road.

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Oh yes...that "little black dress." The staple of ever women's wardrobe. You just have to have at least one.

Body shapers or girdles can be a girl's best friend.

Keep the estrogen coming sweetheart, though I'm not a big fan of the patch. What is your current estrogen level? If it's below 400 your development is going to be very slow and keep in mind that we T girls only have about 3-5 years to develop after we start our HRT. After that...it's pretty much all over.

[Danya (imported)]

Oh yes...that "little black dress." The staple of ever women's wardrobe. You just have to have at least one.

Hi Erica Ann,

I've actually got two "little black dresses" but this weekend will be my first chance to wear one. Both seem too dressy for work, although I may wear one to the office, too!

Body shapers or girdles can be a girl's best friend.

I already had one of these which didn't work well at all. I realized I needed a smaller size. The one I got today is absolutely fabulous. It fits snugly and has no tendancy to roll-up at the top as the first one did. I am truly amazed by the change this makes in my figure. Best of all is that no one need know I have it on.

BTW, if any local non-female person reads this, sees me and asks about it at any time henceforth...well, you may find yourself wishing you had never been born! Of course, I am teasing. I think! There are some things one simply does not ask a woman. Of course, I will freely discuss this with close women friends.

Keep the estrogen coming sweetheart, though I'm not a big fan of the patch. What is your current estrogen level? If it's below 400 your development is going to be very slow and keep in mind that we T girls only have about 3-5 years to develop after we start our HRT. After that...it's pretty much all over.

I've only been on estrogen 3 1/2 months now and we're still in the process of ramping up the dose. I have been tested for estrogen level once, after the first seven weeks. The results were not encouraging then. I'm too embarrassed to repeat the E level here! Anyone who really needs to know can hunt back through my posts on this thread. Erica Ann, I will let you in on this when I speak with you next.

My next E level check is in two weeks. I see the doctor a week after that and we should double the dose at that point. I will talk with her about going with injections instead of the patch. I know Marci Bowers believes that estrogen treatment for trans women is a lot less risky than some reports suggest. I'll do some research on it, too, and go armed to the appointment with data on injections.

I'm also going to email Marci and see if she can provide me references to back up the suggestion of going with injections.

Hugs,

Danya

[Danya (imported)]

I am very happy that Erica Ann's experience with Dr. Marci Bowers has been so positive overall. Learning about her experience has gotten my really excited about GRS and I've pretty much decided to go to Marci myself. That time is still a way off, though, but it gives me something to work toward.

[mrt (imported)]

I think practice makes perfect and Dr Bowers has a lot of practice! Plus she has to have more empathy for a person who has had the same procedure? Well maybe doctors don't think that way.

Injections vs Patches? I think the goal is proper levels and hormonal balance. And if the patches work? To my thinking it doesn't matter how you get it into your body. Shots with long lasting esters are ok to a point. Someone in Europe is making a Testosterone injections thats supposed to last months. The only problem is that many men don't seem to respond to it. Even the shorter term ones (that I use) had been sold as lasting 4 weeks. Anyone trying that was on a roller coaster to hell and back. NOT fun. Smaller doses weekly seem to do the trick for me.

One idea that I think might be of value it to talk to your hormone doctor about compounded creams. I know the last thing TS women want to hear about it testosterone but after your GRS being able to make that female balance of Estrogen, Progesterone and Testosterone would be good if I know my hormones. And compounded drugs are fairly inexpensive. Like $35 a month which is probably your current copay? What I really like is that they are bio identical. *Not that some HRT isn't in fact I think the one your using IS bioidentical. Synthetic is not proven to be bad but if there is a choice between human hormones and synthetic creations that mimic them?

[Danya (imported)]

I think practice makes perfect and Dr Bowers has a lot of practice! Plus she has to have more empathy for a person who has had the same procedure? Well maybe doctors don't think that way.

Erica Ann has told me that Marci Bowers is very kind and a terrific doctor.

BTW, a young friend at work told me there is going to be a series on the We network called something like "Sex Change Hospital (http://www.wetv.com/sex-change-hospital/)", staring Marci Bowers as herself! I suspect this may be a repeat of a six-part documentary produced in 2007. The first segment airs October 14.

Injections vs Patches? I think the goal is proper levels and hormonal balance. And if the patches work? To my thinking it doesn't matter how you get it into your body.

I agree, the proper level of estrogen is the crucial thing. So far, I have not seen the patch even approaching that. Of course, I haven't been on it very long yet. I'll know more with my next blood test. I will also talk with my physician about the compounded creams you mentioned.

I totally agree on the importance of a low level of testosterone for any woman who wants an active sex drive.

[Danya (imported)]

I was thrilled when I got home to find the court order legally changing my name had arrived. I have had a migraine all day which a prescription narcotic didn't cure. My migraine disappeared when I saw the court order. Now I can move on with the work of making my name change have some practical consequences. Tomorrow, I will go to t

he local Social Security Administration office

to apply for a new SS card. I need that so my employer will change my name in their records and for payroll.