Transitioning at work and in all of my life

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mrt (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by mrt (imported) »

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 14, 2010 11:36 am Perhaps because my new HRT doctor halved my testosterone blocking drug, I am feeling some resurgence in sexual interest. Now, I just need to find the right guy to date! 😄. I'm not quite sure how to go about this, but I'll figure it out.

Mrs T has her hormones "store bought" now and once she found the right mix of Estrogen and Testosterone its made a huge difference.

Re Guys and Dating. Don't laugh! You blend so well that I worry about you. So, PLEASE be careful with all this pre GRS. At least don't let any potential boyfriends find out too late. I've heard horror stories about narrow minded guys going ape. I also hope you don't find someone who is only interested BECAUSE your TS... I guess I'm saying both of us hope you find someone that will give you the same kind of love we found.

Blond versus whatever! I think its all good. The only thing that I personally find not so attractive in any women are the really bad hair dye jobs. "Fake" redheads in particular with weird non earthly shades.
mrt (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by mrt (imported) »

Cost reduced GRS???

"Grant reactivated for limited time

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

Thank you for your interest in what we do.

GRANT SUBSIDIES AVAILABLE AGAIN

This January, 2010 the first 10 cases, will

receive Grant Subsidies.

Think "the first 10 in 2010."

After reading the attached (our letter to prospective patiuents available by writing [email protected]) , if you believe I am the doctor for you, please initiate a consultation over the phone with our office by sending us your name, address, and telephone number in an envelope along with a check for 250. We'll get started ASAP. We'll have a lot to talk about.

The grant should reduce your fees by about 1/3 from our typically affordable price when you agree to donate your testes to a non-reproductive research project. Certain restrictions regarding age and communicable disease may apply.

Happy Holidays,

Harold M. Reed

1111 Kane Concourse, Suite # 311

Bay Harbor Islands, Florida 33154

305-865-2000"
EricaAnn (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by EricaAnn (imported) »

mrt (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:20 pm Cost reduced GRS???

"Grant reactivated for limited time

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

Thank you for your interest in what we do.

GRANT SUBSIDIES AVAILABLE AGAIN

This January, 2010 the first 10 cases, will

receive Grant Subsidies.

Think "the first 10 in 2010."

After reading the attached (our letter to prospective patiuents available by writing [email protected]) , if you believe I am the doctor for you, please initiate a consultation over the phone with our office by sending us your name, address, and telephone number in an envelope along with a check for 250. We'll get started ASAP. We'll have a lot to talk about.

The grant should reduce your fees by about 1/3 from our typically affordable price when you agree to donate your testes to a non-reproductive research project. Certain restrictions regarding age and communicable disease may apply.

Happy Holidays,

Harold M. Reed

1111 Kane Concourse, Suite # 311

Bay Harbor Islands, Florida 33154

305-865-2000"

Please check into Dr. Reed and his methods and procedures VERY CAREFULLY!

He does his GRS procedures on an OUT PATIENT BASIS. First night is spent in his private clinic and after that he whisks you off to a local hotel were he has one of his staff members stop by a check on you daily.

OK, having been through the GRS procedure myself, I can tell you from first hand experience that I was barely able to get up and walk around after 48 hours let along make it into a hotel room and fend for myself 24 hours after surgery. I've also heard that his work, how can I put this nicely, leaves a little bit to be desired. You only get one chance to do this right, therefore I would prefer to spend the extra money to see someone that has a great amount of experience in this type of surgery. I don't need him practicing his technique on me. Thank you very much! These are just a couple of reasons why Dr. Reeds prices are so low compared to the other better know and more experienced surgeons in this field.
transward (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by transward (imported) »

EricaAnn (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 18, 2010 9:09 am Please check into Dr. Reed and his methods and procedures VERY CAREFULLY!

He does his GRS procedures on an OUT PATIENT BASIS. First night is spent in his private clinic and after that he whisks you off to a local hotel were he has one of his staff members stop by a check on you daily.

OK, having been through the GRS procedure myself, I can tell you from first hand experience that I was barely able to get up and walk around after 48 hours let along make it into a hotel room and fend for myself 24 hours after surgery. I've also heard that his work, how can I put this nicely, leaves a little bit to be desired. You only get one chance to do this right, therefore I would prefer to spend the extra money to see someone that has a great amount of experience in this type of surgery. I don't need him practicing his technique on me. Thank you very much! These are just a couple of reasons why Dr. Reeds prices are so low compared to the other better know and more experienced surgeons in this field.

Running TS support groups for years, I've known a couple or Reed's post-op patients. The first's, admittedly one of his early patients, was a horror story. Sort of a Three Stooges perform SRS, involving a post op trip from Reed's office to the hotel a block or two away via sitting in an wheeled office chair being pushed by a couple of the office staff. Her outcome was a complete failure with no effective depth, and the last I heard she was negotiating with another SRS surgeon for a complete redo. The other patient saw Reed several years later, was totally happy with both the outcome and the cost and she felt that Reed practically walked on water. YMMV , (your milage may vary)

Transward
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

mrt (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:12 pm Mrs T has her hormones "store bought" now and once she found the right mix of Estrogen and Testosterone its made a huge difference.

Re Guys and Dating. Don't laugh! You blend so well that I worry about you. So, PLEASE be careful with all this pre GRS. At least don't let any potential boyfriends find out too late. I've heard horror stories about narrow minded guys going ape. I also hope you don't find someone who is only interested BECAUSE your TS... I guess I'm saying both of us hope you find someone that will give you the same kind of love we found.

Blond versus whatever! I think its all good. The only thing that I personally find not so attractive in any women are the really bad hair dye jobs. "Fake" redheads in particular with weird non earthly shades.

Hi MrT,

You are a sweetheart.

I am very aware of the horror stories but, as always, I appreciate your concern. I totally agree about letting a potential boyfriend know the situation early on. At this point, I seriously doubt there will be any potential boyfriends. But I may be surprised on day.

Hugs,

Danya
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

mrt (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:20 pm Cost reduced GRS???

"Grant reactivated for limited time

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

Thank you for your interest in what we do.

GRANT SUBSIDIES AVAILABLE AGAIN

This January, 2010 the first 10 cases, will

receive Grant Subsidies.

Think "the first 10 in 2010."

I seriously doubt that any of these
EricaAnn (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 18, 2010 9:09 am subsidies would still be available in late April.

Please check into Dr. R
eed and his methods and procedures VERY CAREFULLY!
transward (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 18, 2010 10:04 am I am already very familiar with Dr. Reed's methods. Over a year ago, I decided I would not go to him.

Running TS support groups for years, I've known a couple or Reed's post-op patients. The first's, admittedly one of his early patients, was a horror story. Sort of a Three Stooges perform SRS, involving a post op trip from Reed's office to the hotel a block or two away via sitting in an wheeled office chair being pushed by a couple of the office staff. Her outcome was a complete failure with no effective depth, and the last I heard she was negotiating with another SRS surgeon for a complete redo. The other patient saw Reed several years later, was totally happy with both the outcome
and the cost and she felt that Reed practically walked on water. YMMV , (your milage may vary)

Transward

I don't doubt that some of Reed's results are good. Another consideration for me is my age. Older people heal more slowly. I would want more hospital time to be safe.

In any event, without a job even the 1/3 off offer for GRS is way to steep. Perhaps late next year I will be able to have surgery.
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

A brief update on my job search:

1. My Tuesday afternoon interview downtown was moved to Wednesday morning. I will follow the wise counsel of friends and not drive. There is too much risk that traffic delays could cause me to be late. Even if I leave 3 hours before I need to be there. I will take the train.

2. The hiring manager for the Wisconsin job, with a terrific company, told the recruiter he liked my resume so much he would skip the phone interview. We will move directly to the on site interview. This is exactly what happened for job #1. The manager wanted to see me early this week. I had to decline, mentioning the conflict with the first interview.

3. I am in the running for a third job, this one like the first also downtown.

4. A recruiter contacted me today to see if I would be interested in yet another job.

Of course, given the economy
Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:46 pm it is entirely possible that none of these p
ossibilities will result in a job offer. I am very encouraged, though, by these developments.

I had something of an urban adventure on Saturday. I drove part way to the city, then decided to take the 'el' the rest of the way. This saved money parking downtown and I avoided potential traffic snarls. I wound up exploring a part of Chicago I had not been to in years. I had my camera along.

The camera caused several problems, or rather my concentration on it did. :) At one point, I was partly in the street photographing skyscrapers behind a raised drawbridge. I wasn't the only one in the street, but unlike the other people I stayed there taking pictures. A bus driver had to honk at me to get me to move! Reminds me of the time in New Orleans when I had a more direct confrontation with a bus, and for a similar reason.

At one point, I took the steps from Wacker Drive down to the side of the Chicago River. I wanted to photograph the boats that were being taken back to their warm weather moorings in the Lake Michigan marina. As I was maneuvering to get a better view, I backed into a concrete curb and fell. No harm done. I can get very much 'in the zone' when taking pictures. :)

I walked around the city for at least 2 1/2 hours. Finally, my body started to tell me that the donut I had for breakfast was not enough to keep me going through 4:30 PM. So I headed back to the 'el'. I needed to get back on the blue line, which downtown is actually a subway.

At the subway station, a young scrawny looking man with a goatee approached me. No one else was in sight. This is when I remembered Erica Ann's words of advice, "You don't want to look like a tourist gawking at all the tall buildings while you carry your camera.":) The thing is, I never tire of gawking at the buildings in any city. While I could not gawk at the buildings from below ground level, I was sitting there with a very nice camera.

The young man sat down next to me and started off by telling me his story. He was in the city, visiting from college in Indiana. His 5 minute tale came down to his being irresponsible the night before. He had gotten very drunk, so he said, and not only gotten sick in a taxi but along the way left his identification and money behind. He freely admitted that he had been very foolish.

He needed to get back to Indiana. Seems like he was somehow able to call his mother. She told him to find a nice lady from out of town, who had children and would understand. Surely such a woman would give him the $44.12 he needed for the trip home. For some reason, he thought I was just such a woman. Little did he know I have no children. :)

He noted that none of the Chicago women would give him the time of day, let alone travel funds. I will not reveal whether or not I gave him any money. For now I'll leave things at I have given money to strangers in the past. I make a decision based on my intuition. Alright, I tend to be tender hearted, or soft-headed! 😄

Then I made the mistake of getting on the right train but going in the wrong direction. :D Now, I might not have let this happen if the young man were not continuing to distract me with his story.

Once the train returned above ground, I noticed (sort of) that the route back did not seem to be quite the same as the one I had taken downtown. I was so busy looking at the 137 photos I'd taken that I did not give this incongruity much thought. 😄 In the end, I had to make the entire trip back downtown and out to near O'Hare airport, where I was parked. I was still getting by on the morning's donut, wanting to avoid spending money on a meal I could make at home.

Along the way, and despite the repeated recording of a man's voice politely notifying the 'customers' that there was to be no gambling or soliciting on the train, another man asked me for money so he would have bus fare.

Just this evening, I drove to the local train station to be sure I could easily find it Wednesday morning. I stood at the station looking at the schedule when a woman approached and asked for a dollar. I wasn't expecting this in a far northwestern suburb.

At least all of these people clearly accepted me as Danya! :) Even on Saturday when I was experiencing not a 'poof' of facial hair growth but a less serious 'puff.' Next Sunday, I'll be back to 3 hours of electrolysis. My electrologist told me yesterday that she expects a more serious outbreak in the next week or two. We may be able to head that off with aggressive treatment.
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

I am still hassling with my HRT phsycian's office over getting a letter to state my gender is female. With this, I have some slim hope that I can get an Illinois drivers license that lists my gender, or sex, as female.

Last week, I spoke with the doctor's office manager and he told me he would send a letter out the next day. Nothing happened. I called again today and had to repeat my entire story. He promised again to have the doctor sign a letter. It may not be sufficient.

I'm also trying to reach someone at my high school to see if they will change the name on my transcript. Every time I call I get no answer but leave my number for them to call. They never do. The state of Illinois will
Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 14, 2010 3:43 am accept a high school transcript
in lieu of a birth certificate. This would get around the need to show a birth ceritificate.

This is the one thing that causes me to wish I had stayed in Minnesota. Or consider moving back. Or someplace else that treats trans people better. I love it in the Chicago area but I don't know that this can work out. 😠

Wisconsin will put an 'F' on the drivers license as long as the transgender person is participating in a program for transitioning individuals. Illinois, or at least the Chicago area, is supposed to be far more liberal than Wisconsin. I suppose I could always move across the border to Wisconsin.

I am extremely frustrated over all this and would like to know how people who live their lives full time as women and even take estrogen are supposed to have a normal life in this state.

I cannot worry about this now. I'm getting even more interest from potential employers. But it still ticks me off. I really may have to leave Illinois.
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

....after an email exchange with a trans friend. I now think, once more, this will likely work out in Chicago - or cheese land or where ever. 😄
bryan (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by bryan (imported) »

Hi Danya,

Regarding Illionois Secretary of State policy about changing the gender marker: The physician letter merely has to state that a transition is in process (starting RLE, for instance). My letter reiterated the S.O.C. requirement for a 12-month full-time period in the new gender role, then went on to state: "consistent documentation with congruent gender designation will contribute to a successful outcome."

Here is the clipping from the web which emboldened me prior to visiting the Secretary of State:

An Illinois driver's license and/or identification card (ID) holder who has completed, or who is in the process of obtaining a sex change must provide documentation in the form of a Medical Report form, or Psychiatric Report form, or physician's statement, or other documentation acceptable which indicates that a sex change has taken place or that the applicant is in the process of performing such change.

http://www.thetransitionalmale.com/dlchange

(NOTE: If you go to the link, you'll may have to scroll down to the Illinois section manually. The link at the top of the page didn't work in my browser.)

My visit to the Secretary of State last June was fairly short. Although the change in gender required a supervisor's attention, the physician letter and legal name change court order sufficed. Didn't even have to lie about anything.

Hoping for your success,

Terri
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

bryan (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2010 11:32 am Hi Danya,

Regarding Illionois Secretary of State policy about changing the gender marker: The physician letter merely has to state that a transition is in process (starting RLE, for instance). My letter reiterated the S.O.C. requirement for a 12-month full-time period in the new gender role, then went on to state: "consistent documentation with congruent gender designation will contribute to a successful outcome."

Here is the clipping from the web which emboldened me prior to visiting the Secretary of State:

http://www.thetransitionalmale.com/dlchange

(NOTE: If you go to the link, you'll may have to scroll down to the Illinois section manually. The link at the top of the page didn't work in my browser.)

My visit to the Secretary of State last June was fairly short. Although the change in gender required a supervisor's attention, the physician letter and legal name change court order sufficed. Didn't even have to lie about anything.

Hoping for your success,

Terri

Hi Terri,

Thank you very much for passing along this valuable information. I am much relieved and hopeful that I can do the same thing. Since I transitioned and started estrogen nearly two years ago, this shouldn't be a problem. I will need to show my new doctor proof, since he has only known me a little over a month. I think I will make an appointment with him and show him the information you provided.

Hope you are doing well!

Hugs,

Danya
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

Last night, I spoke with a good friend in Minnesota about today's job interview. I was considering going without nail polish, of all the things! 😄 From what I have read, this is acceptable as is clear nail polish. Color is absolutely forbidden, though, because you don't want people distracted by any hint of flashiness. Unless you are looking for work in the fashion industry. 😄 Everything must be done in a classy, yet understated, way. You want interviewers to focus on what you are saying, not what you are wearing.

She also insisted I go out and get linen paper. I was preparing a 'leave behind' package with my resume, 31-page PowerPoint presentation and my color portfolio. Foolishly, I had intended to use ordinary printer paper. Truth is, I knew she was right.

After my friend called, I realized my plan of getting to bed by 9:30 PM was now impossible. I drove to another one of the endless Chicago suburbs to stop at OfficeMax (for the paper) and at the mall where I was hoping to squeeze in my first ever manicure and polish. By this time, I didn't have the energy to do my own nails. I absolutely love the way my nails look now, even with nothing more than clear polish. The manicure was very relaxing, too.

When I got home, I had to print all the @!#$% stuff for the 'leave behind' package. There were other things to complete so I would feel confident at the interview.

I didn't get to bed until 12:30 AM and got up at 6 AM. Not only am I not a morning person, but I do not do well with only 5 1/2 sleep, either. Nonetheless, I managed to pull it all together and make it to the train station on time. I won't mention what I did with the shoes I drove in after I half ran in them to the station. I couldn't very well carry them with me when I had to be at the interview in heels. I hated this. It's all part of adjusting to life in a very large urban area, though, and learning to properly prepare.

On the train, I reviewed my notes about the company and job description. The interview went very well. I was completely relaxed and confident. This company, and many others, now do second interviews. I'll hear by the end of this week or early next if they want me back.

The (younger) man I'd be reporting to takes the train downtown and then hops a water taxi for the final leg of his morning commute. Very cool!

After the interview, I took time to walk to Millennium Park before heading to the train station.

Right now, I'm waiting for a phone interview about a contract to hire position.

I have been contacted by email by two new recruiters today, so it seems I made a reasonably sound decision to move here.

Then there's the possibility of working for a large financial services firm and a media company, both downtown. Anyway, I feel blessed and hopeful that my period of unemployment will come to an end before long.
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

I am totally crazy about Chicago. I knew I would like it here but I need to take things a bit easier. After spending hours in this city, for my interview, this morning and early after noon, I returned home. I applied for more jobs and had dinner.

For most of the week, I am putting in very long hours on my job search. So I am working very hard to land a new job. At the same time, I play hard. :)

After dinner, I decided I simply had to see Chicago at night. I haven't seen the downtown lights for roughly ten years. So I made the 96 mile round trip this evening and spent quite a bit of time navigating around the city streets. I wanted to become more familiar with the layout. Rather than further tiring me, the trip was energizing.

Most Chicago cab drivers are relatively timid compared to those in Manhattan, where near outright aggression is the rule. I noticed a few exceptions today. In New York, I enjoy driving and showing the cabbies that I am not intimidated,

I would love to take my camera and tripod downtown at night for some photography. But I do not feel safe enough to do this by myself in the dark. Perhaps I can convince my roommate to go along.

There is no way I can continue to make these long drives into the city. Once I have a job, assuming it's in the Chicago area, I want to live much closer to downtown so I can visit more often and at much less expense. Ideally, I'd live in the city near downtown. When I searched for places to stay here, I ran across some nearly reasonable rents for very small apartments.
Uncle Flo (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Uncle Flo (imported) »

Take it easy, slow down You need to be at your best to deal with getting employment. It is good to see that you are so happy and buoyant. --FLO--
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

Uncle Flo (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 22, 2010 10:00 pm Take it easy, slow down You need to be at your best to deal with getting employment. It is good to see that you are so happy and buoyant. --FLO--

Dear Flo,

You are such a sweetheart. :)

You are correct, I do need to slow down. I have got to balance things so I am having sufficient fun while not tiring myself out. As long as I am not overdoing it, being out and about helps clarify my thinking. It gets rid of the cobwebs and stimulates new ideas. Even when I am enjoying the city I am thinking of new approaches for my job search and interviews.

Thanks for your kind words. I am incredibly happy. What a fortunate woman I am.

Hugs,

Danya
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

bryan (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2010 11:32 am Hi Danya,

Regarding Illionois Secretary of State policy about changing the gender marker: The physician letter merely has to state that a transition is in process (starting RLE, for instance). My letter reiterated the S.O.C. requirement for a 12-month full-time period in the new gender role, then went on to state: "consistent documentation with congruent gender designation will contribute to a successful outcome."

Hi Terri,

I just double-checked with my doctor's office. The letter that will enable me to be designated as 'F' on my license, at least if I choose the right license office :), is on the way.

Hope to handle this next week.

Hugs,

Danya
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

I do need to take things easier. After getting only 5 1/2 hours sleep the night before Wednesday's interview and going back downtown Wednesday night, I am totally whipped.

Earlier in the day, I went to pick up pants suit #2 from Woodfield Mall. If that second interview comes, I will look terrific.

This afternoon, I briefly toyed with the idea of going downtown this evening for a concert. I was going to drive to an 'el' station for the ride to near Michigan Avenue. There is absolutely no way I have the energy for this.

When I am this tired, my jobless situation can start to seem really bad. I will get to bed by 9:30 PM and I should be back to normal in the morning.
EricaAnn (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by EricaAnn (imported) »

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 23, 2010 6:20 am Hi Terri,

I just double-checked with my doctor's office. The letter that will enable me to be designated as 'F' on my license, at least if I choose the right license office :), is on the way.

Hope to handle this next week.

Hugs,

Danya

Hi Danya,

I too had the same letter you're referencing and was still asked the big question "Have you had a procedure?" Hopefully they will not ask, but if they do, you have better be prepared to tell a little white lie.

I know some girls that have not been asked and others that have. It all depends on which clerk you get at the desk. I know that it seems a bit unreasonable, but this State's a little tougher than others on this issue.
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

EricaAnn (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 24, 2010 12:50 am Hi Danya,

I too had the same letter you're referencing and was still asked the big question "Have you had a procedure?" Hopefully they will not ask, but if they do, you have better be prepared to tell a little white lie.

I know some girls that have not been asked and others that have. It all depends on which clerk you get at the desk. I know that it seems a bit unreasonable, but this State's a little tougher than others on this issue.

Hi Erica Ann,

A mutual trans friend suggested several license offices that tend to be quite friendly towards trans folks. According to her, all the state of Illinois requires is that a letter state you are undergoing irreversible treatment to change gender.

The problem, according to said friend, is that individual license offices have the power to do what they want at least to an extent. She recommended several that are known to favorably treat cases such as mine. If I fail at one office, I'll try another - in a different county if necessary.

She also told me the office I went to has one of the worst reputations on these things.

I think this is very important because she also noted that in Illinois there is protection for dressing as any gender. Public bathroom use is another matter. You are, at least technically, expected to use the bathroom that matches the gender on your drivers license. I have never had a problem with this, but I would prefer to be protected.

If I fail on the license issue, I hope that the 'safe passage' letter I will obtain will do the job. I am returning to the gender therapist you used, and I had one appointment with in March, middle of next week. This letter is one of the things I told her I need.

Hugs,

Danya
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

Writing helps me relax and sort through issues.

Today, I feel a little stuck. I am waiting to hear if I will be asked in for a second interview at the downtown company. I may not hear until early next week. I noted in an earlier post that this interview went very well. Typically, I interview very well but there is always the possibility of inadvertently saying something that nixes the entire process. I cannot read a hiring manager's mind, but I do look for clues to his or her thinking and reactions in body language.

I am also waiting for an interview to be set up with the company near Milwaukee. This is one of the places that chose to skip the phone interview because they thought it unnecessary. The corporate HR department is involved in some way. That's slowing things. The recruiter just told me I am the only candidate they submitted for this job because they are so confident in my abilities. I hope they are not over selling me. I am confident in the abilities I have but at the same time I am aware of what I cannot do. Anyway, I am sure other agencies have submitted candidates.

Earlier in the week, I may have mentioned that yet another recruiter told me I should be able to at least equal the salary I was making last year. This is good news, if it turns out to be correct. 😄 She thinks I am well qualified for the company she is working with. I may not hear anything about this one until late next week. The HR department is known to be slow.

When I visited downtown Chicago Wednesday night, I drove by many companies that might have an interest in what I can do. I am considering contacting these directly, to try to arrange 'informational interviews.' I might even just walk in their doors and ask to speak with someone in the XYZ department. I would have my 'leave behind' packages along.

Sometimes, direct action like this can pay off. It is time consuming and expensive but I am considering it as a form of networking. A potential problem is that many, if not most, buildings have security so without a name you are out of luck. Without a name and appointment you may be out of luck. I will research this to see if it is feasible.

I spent a little time last night trying to find a good transgender dating site. Not one that is all about sex. I may have found it. They have a chat room where discussions of sex are strictly prohibited. I spent about 10 minutes in chat and a 50 year old man from Chicago was there.

The site has a section specifically for trans women looking for long term relationships. They also offer realistic advice to men seeking to date trans women. Like how we want to be treated as exactly who we are: women! :) Whether we are pre-op or post-op.

Most of Thursday evening I worked on my job search, continuing until nearly 1 AM. I had planned to get to bed early, but there was too much to get done.

This evening, I will do something fun and it may involve the city. :D
JessicaH (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by JessicaH (imported) »

If you need contact info in a certain company let me know. I have a heck of a database that has info on people from every company of any size!
EricaAnn (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by EricaAnn (imported) »

Hi Danya,

You have peaked my curiosity now after reading your last several posts, so if I could ask what is a "leave behind" package that you mentioned and what type of information would be contained in such a document? I'm not familiar with this term.
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

I just returned home from a fun evening in downtown Chicago. There's really quite a lot I'd like to write about this. I want to spend time, though, in the chat room on the dating site I found last night.

When I checked my email, there was a note from the corporate recruiter at the downtown company I interviewed with Wednesday. They said I clearly had valuable talents but I was too experienced for the job level. I suspected this at the interview and afterwards spoke to Erica Ann. I told her I hoped I had not intimidated the hiring manager. That was not my goal but I was simply being my usual competent self. I could not 'dumb it down' for the interview and that would not get me to where I want to be.

I am totally fine with this positive rejection, even after all my late night hours of preparation. All of that can be put to good use elsewhere. I am also aware that 'too experienced' could be code for 'too old.' Perhaps not in this case, since I had clued them in to my age when I first connected with the corporate recruiter. I got the interview anyway.

In addition, the interview gave me good practice. Now it is important that I write a thank you note to the hiring manager. Not only is this proper etiquette, but he may be able to serve as a networking contact. If he is on LinkedIn, which is likely, I will ask him to be a connection.

I'm still waiting to hear about interviews for two other permanent positions. Then there is a contract position I am being submitted for in the health care industry. I need to have a permanent job for the benefits, but I still have 10 months of COBRA coverage for health and dental insurance. Like the contract to hire position I am waiting on, this contract job would get me in the door with the health care industry.

If I take a contract position, it would look good on my resume. While I was over qualified for the downtown job, the requirements for the contract job are high. My Twin Cities friend, a project manager and former boss years ago, says I can do everything they want. I agree. But the annualized pay rate is extremely low if they truly want everything they ask for. Including managing large projects. Nonetheless, this would be better than unemployment.

While holding down a contract job, I can still look for permanent employment. I know beyond a doubt that I will succeed.

Stacy and Erica Ann, I will respond to you later tonight or tomorrow. I need to see if 't' in Chicago is in the dating room chat! :)
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

When I started my nearly 50 mile journey downtown this afternoon, my intent was to see the Matisse special exhibition at the Art Institute. Unfortunately, just as on my first attempt to visit the Shedd Aquarium, the exhibit along with the entire new modern wing (which I have never seen) was closed for a private event. Over two years ago, I saw the older part of the museum. While it is quite fine, I did not want to pay admission without seeing the Matisse works.

Instead, I walked around downtown Chicago yet again. My roommate was right when she told me I would regret not taking my camera. While I wandered around the spectacular Millennium Park, I was sorely wishing I had it with me. Night had not yet fallen and I could have easily gotten some spectacular shots without a tripod. When darkness came, I still felt quite safe. The Loop is generally considered safe even after dark. Besides, there were people around.

I have got to point out that it is easy to get terrific photos in Chicago. The place is so photogenic. It's often rated as having one of the best skylines in the world.

The park was filled with gorgeous spring flowers and flowering trees. The lakeside area is often cooler in Spring than the more inland area where I live. Here, some of the plant types blooming downtown are already fading.

Yet some tender plants had already reached 18 inches in height. There was one flower I could not identify, which bothered me a little. I think it was a late blooming Helleborus species. It at least superficially looked like one and had a Ranunculus family type flower. Just like buttercups. But I may be wrong here. It has been too many years since I studied the anatomy of flowers.

The beds were ablaze with tulips, daffodils and narcissus blossoms. The park is filled with unusual and fascinating modern sculptures, following the tradition in Chicago for vibrant public spaces. I did not want to leave, but nature was starting to call.

I knew I should return to the car so I could get back on the Kennedy expressway, a non-toll section of I-90 that switches to a toll route near O'Hare airport. Soon after entering the expressway, there was a sign noting that the drive to O'Hare was 20 minutes. I thanked God because on I-90, near O'Hare, is the Des Plaines Oasis. Restrooms! 😄

When I see signs for Des Plaines, I am reminded of the long ago show "Fantasy Island." The side kick to Ricardo Montalban always opened the show with "the plane, boss, the plane!" 😄 How appropriate that Des Plaines should be near O'Hare.

At the first toll plaza, I was tempted to take the side detour to the cash toll plaza. Just to have someone smile at me and say "have a good evening, ma'am." I've had the very cool I-Pass for at least a month now, so I can proceed through the overhead detectors without having to slow down. Given the urgency of my bladder situation, I opted to forego manual payment.

On much of the trip, in both directions, I was listening to Beethoven's Missa Solemnis. I am not a huge fan of Ludwig's choral writing, at least not when I compare his sung works to those of Brahms. Johannes was a master writer of songs and his large choral work, Ein Deutsches Requiem has extremely fine choral writing. I keep in mind that Beethoven was deaf when he wrote this transcendent piece.

Beethoven's monumental mass is wonderfully moving and I felt like I was transported, almost, to another dimension. I got so close to extra-dimensional travel that I needed to rein things in. I was driving, after all 😄.

I also find the very difficult choral sections finely written and appreciate them more than those in the last movement of the Ninth Symphony. There are certainly recognizable traces of the slightly later symphony in the mass, though.

All of this music made me realize how much I miss my piano. When I practice, especially for several hours, I start to get my own original musical ideas. When I play the piano or pipe organ, I am part of the artistic process. I simply don't get quite the same result when listening to music. I try, though.

In part because I am considering taking up again something I have wanted to do for many years. That is, compose my own music. I have dabbled in this over the years and have arranged some of the hymns I have played in church.

This longing to create is, perhaps, one of the curses of being a Myers Briggs type INFP. Although I am much less of an introvert than before I transitioned nearly two years ago. INFP's typically seek to be 'their truest selves.' Indeed, this can become an unattainable life goal. To 'be' completely and totally express every aspect of one's being. By transitioning, I've certainly gone a long way along that path! 😄

Anyway, curse or obsessive compulsive disorder 😄, I was listening to the music with an intense concentration, trying to pick apart the construction of Beethoven's mass. Particularly the Credo third movement and especially the lead in to the Et incarnatus est section. I have the orchestral scores for a few symphonies and I would love to have the score for this work.

The music leading up to this is quite energetic and loudly exhuberant. It ends fairly abruptly on an unresolved chord, followed by one or more flutes alone left holding a single note before 'and is made flesh' begins very quietly and with exquisite beauty. I suspect it is a solo flute that leads into this section because it is barely discernible.

This extended rambling may be the result of that coffee I had late this afternoon. 😄 Anyway, I long for an outlet for my creative energies. There was a time when I could play passably well Beethoven's last piano sonata (#32). I cannot pretend that I ever had this wonderful piece of art ready for a recital, but I could play through it with energy and sensitivity.

Then there is his piano sonata #30, my absolute favorite. It is easier than #32 but still quite difficult. I first heard this performed by the late, great Beethoven interpreter Ruldolph Serkin at Carnegie Hall in New York City. I was blown away by the performance.

I gave my first organ recital at an Episcopal cathedral in upstate New York. Several members of the church choir I directed, and where I was also the organist, attended. This experience was a high point of my life. I had practiced for several months and I pulled off the recital, on a four manual pipe organ, without a hitch. Including a difficult Bach chorale prelude.

Through all this writing, I am sharing more of what it means to be me. That is all.

In other matters, I did not run into 't' in the dating chat room. Perhaps tomorrow night! :D
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

JessicaH (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 24, 2010 4:55 am If you need contact info in a certain company let me know. I have a heck of a database that has info on people from every company of any size!

Hi Stacy,

Thanks for the offer! I may very well take you up on it.

Hugs,

Danya
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