In less than a month, it will be two year[
Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:07 am
quote="Danya (imported)" time=1235175240]
s s
ince [quote="Danya (imported)" tim
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I transitioned to full-time living as
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my true self. What a trip this has been. I wrote to a friend here last night something I have stated here many times. He's probably well tired of hearing the same story by now.

Somehow, and beyond any expectations I ever had, my life continues to get more wonderful. In spite of being unemployed and some additional unpleasant events.
Certainly, when I first learned I would lose my job, and for several additional months, I was not always thriving. A number of therapist type people still commented on how resilient I was. I did not feel this way at all. I did, however, get beyond those difficult first few months of joblessness. Partly with the help of several people here.
It was not easy for me to decide to move to the Chicago area. I based the decision on a number of factors, my job search being just one.
Now, I often feel like I want to live in the city instead of a relatively distant suburb. Occasionally, I am frustrated by the metro area's hugeness. At times, it is very time consuming to get to where I need or want to go.
This remains one of the most difficult times of my life. I really have no clue as to when I will have a job. I am encouraged by responses I have been getting. These are still not the same as a job offer.
Some have written elsewhere that searching for a job, while unemployed, is one of the most difficult jobs you will ever have. I totally agree. I spend 60 - 80 hours a week on this work. I don't know if I am too much of a perfectionist and could do just as well putting in less time. Without changing the outcome. If I had to work this hard at a paying job, I might soon decide to find another. Or change careers.
I feel the need to also relax with play time, sometimes downtown. These excursions are not free.

They refresh my spirit and give me the motivation to keep plugging away at my job search. I could not work so hard if I did not celebrate being alive; being me. That means getting out and being seen.
Today, I was downtown again but only for a short while. Then I returned home and worked.
I found the colorful paintings at the Art Institute to be too stimulating. I had to leave. It is difficult for me to accept that I am now totally stressed out. From both my work and play schedules. Like a fool, I am not heeding Uncle Flo's great advice.
Instead, I have gotten by on 5 - 5 1/2 hours sleep on each of the last four nights. Yet I do not feel tired. Instead, I want to do more. The stress has triggered my hypomania. I took action tonight by taking my prescription mood stabilizer.
Despite the stress, most of the time I am still amazed at how happy I am. I'm not talking about hypomania related euphoria, either. That is not a good thing. I mean genuinely happy with where I am and where my life is going. This still seems like an impossible dream that has come true and continues to get better.
I must rest more. Tonight, I do not think I will have a problem getting at least eight hours of sleep.
I also need to stop thinking I need to do everything and have everything in my life right now.

Even my electrologist comments on this tendency.
What I'd really like is for an employer to pay me to fly around the world for my work. There was a sign in the Metra station Wednesday noting that non-stop flights from O'Hare to Beijing were starting soon.
Then again, I realized my driving habits are starting to match those of the downtown cab drivers. Another job possibility.
Whatever. Time to get to bed.