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kristoff wrote: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:53 am Perhaps get some personalized photo Christmas cards made. Send them one at that time with a nice happy contented message wishing them well. See what happens. By that time they should have had enough time to reconsider and get off their horses - it IS a long way down, you know.

What a simply wonderful idea kristoff. I always knew there was a reason I liked you. And I love that devious streak in you!

I just wanted to thank you for your reply to my thread. It was supportive and encouraging

EricaAnn,

My oh my, how you've come such a long way. I just love your new avatar, it really does reflect the new you. Way to go girl!

I do like Kristoff's advice, don't let your family drag you down. It's nothing you could have prevented from happening. I know it might be hard to do, but don't let them think they have got the best of you, show that you still care for them.

Hey Erica Ann, I am so glad your doing well. I think it's great you and Terri get to see one another. Even calling is wonderful. I think it's so good for Terri to have such a good friend to talk to in person. Of course here at the EA is wonderful also, but very nice to be able to talk in person. I wish Christina was closer to you both, you could be known as *The Three Missketeers* Also, I loved Kristoff's xmas card idea. Well keep moving on sweetie, we only have one life to live.

hugss and love, Lilac

plix, Christina and lilac,

Thanks so very much for your kind words. They are always appreciated!

I must be regaining my confidence from that nasty "little situation" that occurred 9 weeks ago, because if I wasn't, I wouldn't be posting a photo like that as my avatar. That picture was taken this past Saturday night just before we left for Hunter's. 10 months on HRT and 7 months post castration.

And on that note, today is the 7 month anniversary of my bilateral orchiectomy. 10 months total time as a eunuch. As far as the changes I've experienced, they have been many, both physically and mentally.

I really don't have much aggression in me any longer and that in it's self is something, considering the "old me". I'm also far more calmer than I can ever remember being. I'm just more happy and easy going. I used to be very much your typical "A" type of personality and now...I would definitely classify myself as a "B" type.

I have also found that I now need more sleep than in the past. I used to do real well on 6 hours a night, now if I don't get at least 7 hours, I'm really kinda dragging the next day. That seems to be inconsistent with the experiences of some of the other members of our community who now find they need less sleep.

Another thing. Contrary to a past post I made in this thread, I can no longer achieve an erection. Even with the proper stimulation. I'm now impotent, but that's okay especially in light of the fact that I'm transsexual and never really had any love for my male genitals.

I've also found that I have a lower tolerance to alcohol. I used to be able to drink 6 vodka martinis in a night and think nothing of it. If I have maybe 3 now, I'm almost on the floor. WOW, big change in that area!

Now the real questions are...how much of this is directly related to becoming a eunuch and what role does the FHRT play?

Hi,

It's Monday night and I've done my weekly facial electrocution session a day earlier than usual. OMG, this is so painful, but the good news is with one more session, she will have totally cleared my upper lip area. WOOHOO! Progress at last. Oh well...no more mustaches for me!

Going to see my endocrinologist tomorrow night for my usual 2 month appointment. It will probably be the usual thing with blood tests for my hormone levels, a quick going over and the purchase of more estrogen. I'm currently at 6 Mg.'s a day so we'll see where he takes me from here. I'm also going to ask him for a prescription for a 5% ELMA creme. It's supposed to be a great help in numbing the skin and reducing the pain level of the electrolysis.

God...

EricaAnn (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 14, 2006 12:46 am the price we TG/girls pay for beauty.

It's been 12 weeks now and still no word from the family. Oh well...time to move on without them. I'm actually okay with it now. I've come to realize how "needy" they all had really become and how much more peaceful my life is without them. So I'm good with it.

Hi Erica,

One of the electrologists I was seeing told me about trying ELAMAX. It's very similar to EMLA but does not require a script and is supposed to work better. I can't say that I've tried it because I had a supply of EMLA at the time, but it might be worth checking out.

Hi Everyone,

Just thought I'd post up with all the latest happenings and most, if not all, are good.

Spoke with my doctor regarding the latest results from my hormone tests the day before Thanksgiving. Everything looked great with the exception of my estrogen levels, which he felt was still too low, so he has boosted my daily estrogen dosage to 7 Mg.'s. I'll stay at this dosage until December 20th. As of this date I get another boost up to 8 Mg.'s a day. OMG, I just love it! My breast are getting a little tender again and I'm starting another growth spurt. I'm up to a full "B" cup now!

Electrolysis is going well, especially with the 5% ELMA creme. What a God sent that stuff is. She has finished my upper lip area and is now concentrating on my chin. My skin in the area that she's completed is now so smooth, I can't believe it. Like pre puberty!

Went to a wonderful Holiday party last night sponsored by the Chicago Gender Society. There had to be 130 girls there and what a great time we all had. Wore my "little black dress" and I felt that I looked pretty good last night. Just my own opinion. The CGS is also holding a TG Christmas luncheon on December 26th. I'm getting the feeling there are a lot us out there without families because of this whole GID issue.

Spent my first Thanksgiving without my family and that was a little sad, but I've got to get used to it. Christmas is coming and I'm getting the feeling that Thanksgiving is just going to be the first of many Holidays spent without them in the future. What makes it even worse is that my youngest son is going to spend Christmas with his girl friend in Rode Island. This will be the first Christmas without him since he was born. These two events have really just washed away any Christmas spirit in me. I'm beginning to understand the depression that many people feel around the Holidays. :-\ I don't even feel like putting up the decorations this year let alone doing any shopping which is really not like me...I love to shop!

Oh...and by the way, young son has spent some time tracing me down on the Internet and has discovered this web site. He took the time to read all of my posts and then confronted my spouse with everything I've shared with all of you. WOW...he'll take the time to research me, but won't do the same to try to educate himself on GID. I've also not received too much acceptance or understanding from him either. His far right wing Christian view points will not allow him. He just likes to beat me up with his Bible, which he knows very well. God, you have just got to love the far right wing don't you? LOL! The one thing that they all seem to forget is that our Lord loved and accepted all who loved and believed in Him! A rather limited practice of Christian values if you ask me!

I too think I would benefit by having less testosterone so I will be less aggressive, more feminine all the way around

Even by taking 200mg of Androcur for the past 6 month, I am still as aggressive as before.Not that I am happy about that. Just a fact. So less T doesnt necessarily equate to less aggressive. In my opinion.

Zac (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:27 pm Even by taking 200mg of Androcur for the past 6 month, I am still as aggressive as before.Not that I am happy about that. Just a fact. So less T doesnt necessarily equate to less aggressive. In my opinion.

There is a mixed bag of reports on this subject, although the vast majority of literature on the subject does suggest a reduction in aggression. Keep in mind, however, that aggression is also very much a learned behavioral response, and one which you can unlearn.... Some of your approach should also look inside the head rather than just your pants.

kristoff wrote: Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:20 pm There is a mixed bag of reports on this subject, although the vast majority of literature on the subject does suggest a reduction in aggression. Keep in mind, however, that aggression is also very much a learned behavioral response, and one which you can unlearn.... Some of your approach should also look inside the head rather than just your pants.

I agree with you in that a lot of the aggression response is "learned" behavior, yet when I started chemical castration about a year ago, I did notice a big drop in my aggression levels. I didn't do anything else at the time other than to drop my testosterone so I do believe that testosterone does play a major role in one's level of aggression.

By the way, always check the head on the top of your shoulders first, that check with the "other head".

What is interesting I am not normally and over aggressie person, but there are things going on in my life a the moment that would test a saint. I just thought I would have noticed some of this Eunuch calm most people talk about...

Zac (imported) wrote: Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:48 am What is interesting I am not normally and over aggressive person, but there are things going on in my life a the moment that would test a saint. I just thought I would have noticed some of this Eunuch calm most people talk about...

Zac,

Not all eunuchs experience the "eunuch calm" you're referencing. It is not something that is universal with all eunuchs.

While I feel that I have become much more calm and less aggressive since my castration, I'm not sure that I've experienced "the calm" that many speak of.

Zac (imported) wrote: Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:48 am What is interesting I am not normally and over aggressie person, but there are things going on in my life a the moment that would test a saint. I just thought I would have noticed some of this Eunuch calm most people talk about...

For the most part, I think the "Eunuch Calm" is largely a myth. I know several non-HRT eunuchs, none of whom claim any kind of calm. I've only known of one to claim it. Besides, what is the measure of calm... Temper, stress management, etc.?

Ha, I feel I am now becoming more enlightened.

kristoff wrote: Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:07 am For the most part, I think the "Eunuch Calm" is largely a myth. I know several non-HRT eunuchs, none of whom claim any kind of calm. I've only known of one to claim it. Besides, what is the measure of calm... Temper, stress management, etc.?

Andrew was probably the most outspoken about his "eunuch calm" on the EA, and I think that his personal account was quite accurate in this regard. Many more eunuchs reported at least temporary periods of "calmness" and "serenity" in varying degrees, depending on the mood and the circumstances.

However, I think this is mostly a matter of definition. For most people here, myself included, similar reports of reduction in aggression, stress and libido would make up for what I would define as a mixture of calming effects wich translate in the so-called "eunuch calm". Given the definition above, the "eunuch calm" can be well said to be, in fact, a very common occurance. According to my recent private interview of Dr. Spector, the calming effects of castration are indeed a natural consequence of the procedure on the autonomous nervous system, provided that it is not damaged by long-term alcohol consumption, or other brain altering chemicals.

...

Eunuchist (imported) wrote: Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:25 pm However, I think this is mostly a matter of definition. For most people here, myself included, similar reports of reduction in aggression, stress and libido would make up for what I would define as a mixture of calming effects wich translate in the so-called "eunuch calm". Given the definition above, the "eunuch calm" can be well said to be, in fact, a very common occurance. According to my recent private interview of Dr. Spector, the calming effects of castration are indeed a natural consequence of the procedure on the autonomous nervous system, provided that it is not damaged by long-term alcohol consumption, or other brain altering chemicals.

I would agree that this may be largely, if not wholly, a matter of definition. On the other hand, I give utterly NO credence to anything that Spector would say on the subject. My experience and knowledge of his history, dating to the early 1950s, suggest that he is solely self-serving and greedy. He merely found a niche to market to, and marketed it well. He made a lot of money, and practiced beyond his time. While he was *able* he provided a needed service, and deserved to earn his compensation, but he was as much a marketeer as the cereal and candy makers are.

kristoff wrote: Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:07 am For the most part, I think the "Eunuch Calm" is largely a myth. I know several non-HRT eunuchs, none of whom claim any kind of calm. I've only known of one to claim it. Besides, what is the measure of calm... Temper, stress management, etc.?

I agree. Even after orchiectomy AND estrogen treatment, I don't feel any "calmer" than before. If anything, I feel more stressed out from the hot flashes and fatigue I now experience. If you do a Google search for "low testosterone" you'll not find "calm" listed, you'll read about all kinds of horrible things like "apathy" and "weight gain" and "cognitive impairment."

I don't regret my orchiectomy surgery, because it was done as part of a gender reassignment process. However, anyone who thinks it will be either some huge erotic thrill, or will make them "calm" after surgery, is deluding themselves and headed for disaster.

I would like to suggest that the effect known as "eunuch calm" may, in fact, simply be the reaction that someone has after reaching a long sought goal(ie castration). Much like the feeling of overall relief ( may I even say calm?) experienced when one finishes a long, difficult task successfuly. --FLO--

RJLupin (imported) wrote: Sat Dec 16, 2006 4:26 am I agree. Even after orchiectomy AND estrogen treatment, I don't feel any "calmer" than before. If anything, I feel more stressed out from the hot flashes and fatigue I now experience. If you do a Google search for "low testosterone" you'll not find "calm" listed, you'll read about all kinds of horrible things like "apathy" and "weight gain" and "cognitive impairment."

I don't regret my orchiectomy surgery, because it was done as part of a gender reassignment process. However, anyone who thinks it will be either some huge erotic thrill, or will make them "calm" after surgery, is deluding themselves and headed for disaster.

Firstly, you are on estrogen, wich is known to offset the effects of orchiectomy by and large. Additionally, estrogen has a powerful effect on the male pituitary wich definitely reinforces most of symptoms of menopause if you quit the regimen abrubtly vs. if you never started it in the first place. I know of a 58 year old female who have major difficulties of quitting her HRT regimen, for exactly the same reasons, and her symptoms are far worse than they were at the time of menopause, if she skips over just a few doses (the higher the dose, the most difficult it is to withdraw). I would think this to be a very common side effect, as also seen in the bodybuilders (who consider even the so-called normal male range as "too low" after periods of steroid abuse). Furthermore, your experience flies in the face of so many people who reported significantly less aggression after testosterone reduction, here on EA and elsewhere. F. inst. one of the most extensive personal homepages about castration on the internet, that of Sherry Lanina, deals in great detail about the castration-related serenity, as can be read here: http://www.geocities.com/sherrylanina/C ... fects.html

As to the Google search results for "low testosterone": frankly, most of the "terrible consequences" you can read about on the first pages, and all those "sponsored links" to the right, are in some 90% of cases a result of active marketing tricks selling androgen supplements for men who are hungry for more sex and boosted masculine appeal in our exceedingly sex-crazed world (Of course, virtually all of the men who apply for these supplements have absolutely no interest in castration). These sites are constantly pushing all of the pro-androgen publications and advertizing up the Google ranks so it`s not the least surprising that such results are popping up. However, if you search further you might get far more balanced results.

Finally, I do not consider the so-called naturally occuring low testosterone levels (wich in many cases is about a level of between 200 - 400 ng\dl) as a fair example of some of the castration effects, including the "eunuch calm", etc, mostly due to the reasons above, but also because in most cases these men continue to be under still significant androgenic influence (baldness, prostate enlargement, etc, wich is documented to continue even at levels below 300).

kristoff wrote: Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:33 pm I would agree that this may be largely, if not wholly, a matter of definition. On the other hand, I give utterly NO credence to anything that Spector would say on the subject. My experience and knowledge of his history, dating to the early 1950s, suggest that he is solely self-serving and greedy. He merely found a niche to market to, and marketed it well. He made a lot of money, and practiced beyond his time. While he was *able* he provided a needed service, and deserved to earn his compensation, but he was as much a marketeer as the cereal and candy makers are.

Thanks for your reply. I understand that your experience with Spector was overtly negative; and I completely agree that he should not have practiced at all once the senility and his tremor set in. He had likely butched many more surgeries in his later years. However, despite some of his flaws, I also had a feeling that he was an honest man who sincerely wanted to help (even if he was too quick to accept castrations because of need of cash; however, Kimmel would not be particularly different in this regard either - everyone have to drive their niche, regardless). Spector has also performed many successful castrations - literary thousands of them - during the course of his career (he was pretty much considered a pioneer in the field). Some of his very recent happy patients, that I know of, include Andrew, Sherry and Jeff. However, one major reason why I prefer to "examine the message, not the messenger" in his case, is simply because I have experienced the serenity effects he wrote about, first hand, and that before I ever came to read about "eunuch calm" in any detail. I submit that his extensive experience with castration and his patients deserves a more honest approach, instead of simply dismissing everything he has to say merely due to his personal flaws.

Uncle Flo (imported) wrote: Sat Dec 16, 2006 5:03 am I would like to suggest that the effect known as "eunuch calm" may, in fact, simply be the reaction that someone has after reaching a long sought goal(ie castration). Much like the feeling of overall relief ( may I even say calm?) experienced when one finishes a long, difficult task successfuly. --FLO--

Exactly. Total satisfaction. A lack of frustration.

Eunuchist (imported) wrote: Sat Dec 16, 2006 6:57 am Firstly, you are on estrogen, wich is known to offset the effects of orchiectomy by and large. Additionally, estrogen has a powerful effect on the male pituitary wich definitely reinforces most of symptoms of menopause if you quit the regimen abrubtly vs. if you never started it in the first place. I know of a 58 year old female who have major difficulties of quitting her HRT regimen, for exactly the same reasons, and her symptoms are far worse than they were at the time of menopause, if she skips over just a few doses (the higher the dose, the most difficult it is to withdraw). I would think this to be a very common side effect, as also seen in the bodybuilders (who consider even the so-called normal male range as "too low" after periods of steroid abuse). Furthermore, your experience flies in the face of so many people who reported significantly less aggression after testosterone reduction, here on EA and elsewhere. F. inst. one of the most extensive personal homepages about castration on the internet, that of Sherry Lanina, deals in great detail about the castration-related serenity, as can be read here: http://www.geocities.com/sherrylanina/C ... fects.html

As to the Google search results for "low testosterone": frankly, most of the "terrible consequences" you can read about on the first pages, and all those "sponsored links" to the right, are in some 90% of cases a result of active marketing tricks selling androgen supplements for men who are hungry for more sex and boosted masculine appeal in our exceedingly sex-crazed world (Of course, virtually all of the men who apply for these supplements have absolutely no interest in castration). These sites are constantly pushing all of the pro-androgen publications and advertizing up the Google ranks so it`s not the least surprising that such results are popping up. However, if you search further you might get far more balanced results.

Finally, I do not consider the so-called naturally occuring low testosterone levels (wich in many cases is about a level of between 200 - 400 ng\dl) as a fair example of some of the castration effects, including the "eunuch calm", etc, mostly due to the reasons above, but also because in most cases these men continue to be under still significant androgenic influence (baldness, prostate enlargement, etc, wich is documented to continue even at levels below 300).

I had my orchiectomy before I started estrogen, so I do indeed know what the effects of low testosterone are. Maybe some people don't have them; I did. It was very unpleasant. Hot flashes, night sweats, trouble sleeping, depression. The estrogen I now take made all this go away, but if I decided I didn't want to take HRT I would be in trouble. I remain very concerned about anyone who thinks life will be peachy after an orchiectomy and no hormone, because it's not. Just my experience.

Hi All,

It's been tough the past 7 days or so. I've been pretty sick. I had my teeth worked on a week ago this past Monday and in the process picked up a very nasty infection in my gums, so bad, that I was running a fever of almost 101° for a period of about 36 hours. I also had some pretty sever swelling in my face and jaw areas. Couldn't even eat anything for almost 2 days. I've been on antibiotics for over a week now and have finally gotten this infection under control. Thank God! One heck of a diet, eh?

This Holiday season has also been hard. It's going to be a very quite and somewhat depressing Christmas this year, but what are you going to do when your family wants nothing to do with you? I hope that it will get easier after the first Christmas without them. The first time is always the hardest!

I'm going to invite some of my TG/sisters to spend Christmas with me at my home this year. It seems like a lot of us TG/girls suffer from the lack of family so I don't feel like I've been singled out, just one of "the girls" I guess.

I sincerely hope that everyone's Holiday season has been a good one or at least better than mine, which should be pretty easy to do, unless you've been hit by a car or something.