Humor Thread

[NaturalEunuch]

Having to do with the current crypto crash.

[NaturalEunuch]

There's more than one way to become a eunuch.

[WheelyFixed]

That one reminds me of a joke I saw on the EAv2 humor thread -

Tourist couple were eating at a restaurant in Mexico, and saw another couple being seated with great ceremony and then having a meal served to them consisting of a pair of very large egg shaped pieces of meat that looked absolutely delicious...

They asked and were told that it was a special meal that was only available once a day to a single customer, and was very expensive... When asked what made it so special, they were told that the meal was the testicles of the loser of the day's bullfight. The couple decided this was an experience not to be missed so they paid the deposit in order to get the next days special dinner.

The next evening the couple returned to the restaurant with great anticipation and enjoyed the special treatment they were given. To their great surprise however, instead of the huge pieces of meat like they saw the previous night's couple being served, the plate they were presented with just had two little small lumps on it that were barely larger than marbles...

Greatly angered they started accusing the restaurant staff of running some sort of fraud and demanding an explanation... The manager came out and apologized, and told them that indeed they were getting what they had paid for, the balls of the loser.... But why are these so tiny compared to the ones we saw being served yesterday demanded the couple... The manager replied "Ah, but sometimes the bull wins!"

WheelyFixed

[NaturalEunuch]

Bill has been having headaches for about 40 years. He doesn't know what to do so he finally goes to a doctor for the pain. The doctor checks him and says "Bill I’m not sure how to tell you this, but you have a very rare condition where your balls press up against your spine and put pressure on your head. That’s why you've been getting these headaches."

Bill shocked and scared asks the doctor "I do doc?" The doctor sighed and told Bill "I'm sorry. The only thing we can do is castrate you." Bill is shocked. He shudders at the thought of getting his balls cut off. He tells the doctor he’ll think about it and leaves.

He thinks about it for a while, and finally, after working up the courage, he goes back to the doctor and agrees to do the procedure. After a long, painful surgery, Bill walks out a freshly minted eunuch. He walks around for the first time without his balls and passes by a suit store. He tells himself, 'I am a new person today! Let me buy my self some new clothes.'

He goes in and asks the owner "Sir can you get me a blazer?" The owner looks at him and says "one blazer coming up, size 13." Bill is amazed that the guy was able to tell his size by just looking at him and says "damn how'd you know?" The owner answers "been in the business 50 years."

Bill tells him “ ok then let me get some pants." The owner says, "one pair of pants coming up, size 35 waist." Again Bill is amazed. He asks the guy "how did you know?" "Been in the business 50 years, I know it all."

Still surprised, Bill asks him "how about a pair of underwear?" The owner looks at him and says "one pair of underwear, size 10 coming up" Bill jumps up immediately and says "Ha! You were wrong. "I'm a size 8. Been wearing 8 for 40 years."

The owner looks at him concerned and says,”well you shouldn't have ....8 is too small. It will make your balls press up against your spine and give you a crazy headache."

[NaturalEunuch]

pee.jpg (42.75 KiB) Viewed 172 times

....said no eunuch ever.

[NaturalEunuch]

Deodorant for eunuchs?

nullo.jpg (213.97 KiB) Viewed 154 times

[Friotler7]

Bill has been having headaches for about 40 years. He doesn't know what to do so he finally goes to a doctor for the pain. The doctor checks him and says "Bill I’m not sure how to tell you this, but you have a very rare condition where your balls press up against your spine and put pressure on your head. That’s why you've been getting these headaches."

Bill shocked and scared asks the doctor "I do doc?" The doctor sighed and told Bill "I'm sorry. The only thing we can do is castrate you." Bill is shocked. He shudders at the thought of getting his balls cut off. He tells the doctor he’ll think about it and leaves.

He thinks about it for a while, and finally, after working up the courage, he goes back to the doctor and agrees to do the procedure. After a long, painful surgery, Bill walks out a freshly minted eunuch. He walks around for the first time without his balls and passes by a suit store. He tells himself, 'I am a new person today! Let me buy my self some new clothes.'

He goes in and asks the owner "Sir can you get me a blazer?" The owner looks at him and says "one blazer coming up, size 13." Bill is amazed that the guy was able to tell his size by just looking at him and says "damn how'd you know?" The owner answers "been in the business 50 years."

Bill tells him “ ok then let me get some pants." The owner says, "one pair of pants coming up, size 35 waist." Again Bill is amazed. He asks the guy "how did you know?" "Been in the business 50 years, I know it all."

Still surprised, Bill asks him "how about a pair of underwear?" The owner looks at him and says "one pair of underwear, size 10 coming up" Bill jumps up immediately and says "Ha! You were wrong. "I'm a size 8. Been wearing 8 for 40 years."

The owner looks at him concerned and says,”well you shouldn't have ....8 is too small. It will make your balls press up against your spine and give you a crazy headache."

Classic. I knew it in portuguese.

[WheelyFixed]

Little girl is walking home from Kindergarten...

Bratty boy comes up to her, drops his pants and points saying "I've got this"

Little girl screams and runs off crying, gets home and still heart broken tells story to her mother.

Mother comforts her a bit, and whispers something in her ear that makes her stop crying and go off playing happily.

Next day, Bratty boy does the same thing.

She smiles at him, lifts up her skirt and says "That's OK; I've got this, and my mommy tells me that when I'm a little older it will get me all of those I want...


Some jokes are TRUE!!!

WheelyFixed

[Friotler7]

A man was resting in the postoperative room and nurse was checking him. He asks her:

- Are my testicles black?

- Excuse me? - She asked

- I asked if my testicles are black?

She lifts his gown and look at his testicles:

- No sir, they're not black.

The man grabs her hand as he sits and says:

- Good, but can I have my TEST RESULTS back?

[WheelyFixed]

Not sure if this counts as humor or horror...
https://everypeepsflavor.com/ - a list of every known Peeps flavor w/ photos.... (sorry, I didn't see any semen, testicle, or other sex fluid flavors mentioned... Perhaps we should suggest they consider the idea?

https://00454030557027661637.googlegrou ... KX8x8BGTy0 - appropriate pairing of wines etc. w/ different peep varieties.... (Presumably the booze kills the taste....)

WheelyFixed