Transitioning at work and in all of my life

[Danya (imported)]

Glad to hear you are getting the testing needed for a more definite diagnosis... Hopefully it will turn out that you have something not as bad...

I'm not an expert on Parkinson's, but I know that the progression of it varies a lot between patients. However most of us don't have crystal balls in perfect working order, and there isn't any good way to tell how things will end up going. OTOH, one of the realities of doing adaptive mods is that the cost of doing a partial modification is going to be about the same as a 'worst case' one. But if you do a partial mod, and then need a more severe one, you will have about the same costs as if you hadn't done anything - in other words what you spent on the partial modification will be wasted... So it makes the most sense to keep that worst modification in mind, and either go there, or choose a path that minimizes the number of added steps...

WheelyCurious

I appreciate your financial info, WheelyCurious. It makes good sense, thanks.

[Danya (imported)]

My husband (who goes by the letter H here) normally accompanies me into stores and shops. Thursday, H decided to wait in the car as I returned an item to Amazon at a UPS store. I used my four-wheel walker to get into the store. Although we had parked in one of several handicapped spots, the door to The UPS Store had no button to push that would automatically open the door for handicapped people.

So, I was pleasantly surprised, and happy, when a woman leaving the store said:" I'll hold the door for you, gorgeous."

Another woman happened to be entering the UPS store just as I was leaving. She also kindly held the door for me.

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Foolishly

I was go

ing without estrogen for many months until ea

rly July 2023.

Over the last few years, my gynecologi

st switched me

from estradiol injections to external patches. This was to m[quote="Danya (imported)" tim
[/quote]
e=1666669080]
ake it easier for me to use est

radiol; my esse

ntial tremor had worsened so that I co

uld no longer f

ill a syringe. Anyway, because I gave

an update on t

he tremor and admitted to my gynecologist that I had stopped using the patc

h months before, [quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1632170640]
I'm now using a daily estrogen gel that is easy to ap

ply. Unf

ortunately, it seems the easier the estradiol

applica

tion gets, the more expensive it becomes. :-\

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I can't wait to reconnect with friends at this year's MoM which starts in just a few days!

[WheelyCurious]

I should point out that there is NO requirement in the ADA for power assist doors... I agree that they are nice and I use them when present but they are NOT required... It is a common misbelief that they are required. I have gone through training from our state disability commission to be a "volunteer community monitor" so that I can do 'no harm / no foul' inspections of businesses to advise them on how well they are complying w/ the ADA and what they need to fix... (And also make sure they are aware of the various funding assistance and tax break options to help cover the costs)

What the ADA DOES call out is a limit on the amount of force needed to push or pull a door to open it... This force limit is relatively low, I forget the exact number but it's under 10 lbs... The problem, especially with outside doors, is that it is so low the door can be opened by changes in air pressure or wind...

Power doors are basically an end run around this force limit, as there is NO limit on opening force for power doors... So a property owner that has problems caused by having low opening force on their doors can solve them by putting in a power opener... They can also do it to be nice, but don't have to.

WheelyCurious

[Danya (imported)]

I should point out that there is NO requirement in the ADA for power assist doors... I agree that they are nice and I use them when present but they are NOT required... It is a common misbelief that they are required. I have gone through training from our state disability commission to be a "volunteer community monitor" so that I can do 'no harm / no foul' inspections of businesses to advise them on how well they are complying w/ the ADA and what they need to fix... (And also make sure they are aware of the various funding assistance and tax break options to help cover the costs)

What the ADA DOES call out is a limit on the amount of force needed to push or pull a door to open it... This force limit is relatively low, I forget the exact number but it's under 10 lbs... The problem, especially with outside doors, is that it is so low the door can be opened by changes in air pressure or wind...

Power doors are basically an end run around this force limit, as there is NO limit on opening force for power doors... So a property owner that has problems caused by having low opening force on their doors can solve them by putting in a power opener... They can also do it to be nice, but don't have to.

WheelyCurious

Thanks for writing, WheelyCurious. You're quite knowledgeable about the ADA. Thanks for the information.

The suburb with the UPS store, perhaps like many suburbs in our metro area, usually has few handicapped parking spots per business. So when I saw several for the small UPS store I was surprised. The store's door was the first I'd seen, with handicapped parking, that had no power assistance. [Perhaps I hadn't noticed the lack of power assistance on many doors because my husband was always there to open doors for me.] I did wonder how I was going to get what looked like a heavy door open while I was using the walker. Next time we go there I'll want to find out exactly how easy or difficult that door is to open.

[WheelyCurious]

Thanks for writing, WheelyCurious. You're quite knowledgeable about the ADA. Thanks for the information.

The suburb with the UPS store, perhaps like many suburbs in our metro area, usually has few handicapped parking spots per business. So when I saw several for the small UPS store I was surprised. The store's door was the first I'd seen, with handicapped parking, that had no power assistance. [Perhaps I hadn't noticed the lack of power assistance on many doors because my husband was always there to open doors for me.] I did wonder how I was going to get what looked like a heavy door open while I was using the walker. Next time we go there I'll want to find out exactly how easy or difficult that door is to open.

Once again, the ADA does spell out how many HP spaces are required... It is based on the size of the lot, so a strip mall might only have one or two spots for a lot of businesses... (I'm not going to look up the chart...) They are supposed to be located close to the entrance and have curb-cuts or similar to make them wheelchair accessible. However sometimes they stick the ramp off to one side, and the space(s) with it... There are also rules about the sizes of the space and access aisles, and the maximum allowed grade (slope) for the space. Unfortunately for those of us that travel, they aren't as consistent about how they are painted.

(Minor amusement, I've seen a website featuring space repainting w/ the HP symbol not aligned, those signs can get into most of the positions in the Kama Sutra I wish *I* could....)

Doors can be a challenge. I find 'push' doors are easy, just push through... Pull doors are harder, the technique they teach us is basically to approach the door from the opening side, pull it open and quickly swing your front wheels into the opening so the door can't close... Then keep pushing it open and moving the chair further into the opening and turning until you can get through... Hard to describe but not to terrible...

Another minor ADA requirement - doors must be operable w/ a closed fist, so door knobs don't comply, which is why you now see levers instead... (Same thing applies to HP accessible sinks, and similar things)

WheelyCurious

[Danya (imported)]

There are times when I wonder if, just maybe, I've been living in La-La Land regarding my husband's (H's) cancer from its initial diagnosis 5 months ago and continuing with his ongoing chemo brain.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm resilient. After all, I have been told so by three psychologists and one psychiatrist. The fact that I pay these peo

inions suspect.


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I will have other things to report in another post including:

Was I given permission to practice my church's new, supposedly world-class (maybe second-tier) pipe organ?

What did I say to a non-trans woman friend at church about her outfit and how did she

respond?

What's going on with my cute Physical Therapist?

Etc.

My post will be, for the most part, more light-hearted than this but not as frivo[
[/quote]
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lous as the list might suggest.

I will not answer [quote
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the listed questions, above. I intend to end this tra[quote
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nsition thread soon.

As I looked over a few early pa
[/quote]
ges of this thread I r

ealized something major is miss[quote

="Danya (imported)" time=1664670360]
ing. Namely any talk about struggles I had in arrivin[quote
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g at my decision to transition.

I remember writing a[quote=
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"Danya (imported)" time=1656104760]
bout how in the world I went from identifying as a ga
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y male to the happy place I was in when I started "

Transitioning at work and in all of my life." I have no

idea what happened to those posts.

As I continue t[

quote="Danya (imported)" time=1461099600]
his thread I will recreate some of those early trials.

[quo
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I've spent hours the last few weeks looking over my posts on this thread. Although none describe my struggles before I accepted being transgender, I'm now too far removed from those times to give a detailed accounting of those difficult times.

And besides, it is my intention to end this thread soon.

[Paolo]

I'm sorry to see it end.

[Danya (imported)]

I'm sorry to see it end.

Thanks, Paolo.

As I reread nearly every post on this thread it brought back fond memories of frequent interactions with multiple folks. Those multiple conversations motivated me to post.

[Danya (imported)]

Yesterday, I had the test to distinguish Parkinson's Disease (PD) from Essential Tremor (which has been diagnosed for some years now, anyway.) The good news is I don't have PD. My current diagnosis for most of my PD-like symptoms is Parkinsonism of unknown origin, possibly from medication. The PD-like hand tremor may in part be from my essential tremor.

If my Parkinsonism is medication-related, that would be good news, too. Once the problem med(s) has been discontinued, the Parkosinism symptoms will disappear in a period of weeks to months.

[Danya (imported)]

When I had trouble thinking up new topics, I realized that it was time to end this thread. A while ago, I went back to the start of the

"Transitioning at work and in all of my life

" thread and read every post through to the thread's end. That made something else even more clear to me.

I'm in a very different place now than when I started writing here. My adventure of transitioning is over. I'm not finding my way dating or fending off would-be suitors who do not interest me. I'm not giving up most of my worldly possessions to move to another city, wondering how long it will take to find a job in a very poor economy, yet still making time for fun in Chicago's museums and at concerts and events.

I have settled into my life as a now elderly (transgender) woman. About ten years ago, my future husband and I were walking around one of the area lakes on a warm and sunny late Spring day, I took his hand in mine as we neared a favorite overlook. He, who is usually a bit shy, said to me "What will people think?" I replied, "They'll think, there goes a nice elderly couple."

We celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary in early September.

Out of all my friends, only one is a transgender woman and we are not close. Nearly all my other friends are natal women; all but four of these women I know from church.

I have a few male friends. One is a retired physician we have lunch with about once a month. A few others are from church, and a few are from this website.

My largely post-transition life is very satisfying, but not perfect. My husband and I have occasional minor squabbles, but I think this is normal for two people living together.

~ THE END ~

[kristoff]

Thank you for a long, storied, informative, and enlightening diary. Best wishes. Coffee or tea sometime?

[Danya (imported)]

Thank you for a long, storied, informative, and enlightening diary. Best wishes. Coffee or tea sometime?

I'd love to meet for coffee or tea, Kristoff!